Hello, nerds. Miss me, much? Here's something funny.

iPhone 4 Video - The Deleted Scenes from Adam Scott

I've decided to write like Arthur C. Clarke

After the lively discussion the other day I've decided to start writing like Arthur C. Clarke; herewith the results.

http://www.jordanorlando.com/clarke

A musical interlude of a different sort

Earlier today I caught this video of Lenny Kravitz crashing a school choral concert(it's kind of long, but pretty fun.)



And that, of course, made me want to watch this video. One of my all time faves, and I know Octo's as well.
Party on, dudes!

Official: The Last Airbender is the Worst Reviewed Movie of 2010 (So Far)

From slashfilm, It is now official, M Night Shyamalan’s The Last Airbender has beaten the Brendan Fraser animal family comedy Furry Vengeance to become the worst reviewed film of the year. This according to Rotten Tomatoes, which compiles reviews from movie critics from around the world. Airbender has a 6% rating with 80 reviews counted thus far. That means that only five of the critics files a positive review.

If you want to see the 5 critics who gave the film a favorable review go here

'Spider-Man' finds its Peter Parker and already I want to punch him

From ew, We have a new friendly neighborhood Spider-Man — and he’s British. Columbia Pictures confirms that Andrew Garfield, 26, has nabbed the highly sought-after role of Peter Parker after a worldwide search. Garfield, while largely unknown in the states, is one of the U.K.’s most highly regarded up-and-comers. He appeared in Terry Gilliam’s The Imaginarium of Dr. Parnassus as well as John Crowley’s Boy A, for which he received a best actor BAFTA in 2008. He’s been getting heat in the U.S., too. This year the young Brit will be starring opposite Jesse Eisenberg and Justin Timberlake in the Facebook movie Social Network, directed by David Fincher, and will star in the Oscar-bait drama Never Let Me Go opposite Carey Mulligan (An Education) and Keira Knightley. As recently as yesterday, web speculation was high that 17-year-old Josh Hutcherson (The Kids Are All Right) would land the webslinger role, which was originated on the big screen by Tobey Maguire.

UPDATE: Great Cinematic Moments of the Bass Coming In (now you can WATCH them!)

If you kids are done syllable-counting, I want to mention that I uploaded clips of some of the aforementioned great bass-coming-in moments I posted about early this morning. Click here to watch clips from Silent Hill, The Queen and Miracle Mile. Boost your speakers and get ready for goosebumps!

http://www.jordanorlando.com/bass

50PageMcgee UPDATE: sorry to keep bumping these two posts all over the place. i'm moving them back to the top only because i took a big whack at trying to reply to Jordan's posts in as great a level of detail as possible without breaking my own brain. if you have no interest in this topic whatsoever, disregard. but if you're curious about the inner workings of music, i tried to present some nerdy stuff about it, and i've tried to do so in a way that's not too hard to digest. there's *a lot* here (and some of it is nestled amidst Jordan and HandsomeStan beating the crap out of each other over 2010), so i won't be offended if it gets skipped, or if people don't comment.

but if you are interested, please, read on.


PS - an additional word of caution, now that i've reread what i wrote: my idea of "digestible" might differ from yours to some degree.

5 Great Cinematic Moments of the Bass Coming In (shoutout to 50PageMcGee)

I mention 50 because, until Octopunk's Tron Legacy post a week ago, I had no idea that anyone on Horrorthon geeked out on movie music even more than me (since I've been known to get into discussing flattened fifths myself). (I've made a few special modifications myself. But, we're a little rushed...) Anyway, off the top of my head and in no particular order (with absolutely no assurance that anybody knows or cares what I'm talking about), 5 Great Cinematic Moments of the Bass Coming In:

1) Silent Hill (2006) During her frenzied first hour in "ash world," Rose follows the elusive, distant running girl to a cement staircase that leads down into a basement, and starts down the stairs. For the first time in the movie, the sky starts to darken...and, far in the distance, the air raid siren (that presages each transition to "the darkness") begins to blow. It's a slow, mournful two-note glissando -- a major fifth, tonic to dominant -- that repeats twice, as the sky darkens to black and rose ignites her (badass) Zippo lighter. And, on the third repetition, the cellos come in, deep and low, a minor triad on the dominant, and you get this uneasy chill.

2) The Queen (2008) Almost exactly the same move. Nearly at the end of the movie, Helen Mirren is standing outside her Scottish castle, facing the crowd for the first time in the movie, and she steps forward to speak to a young girl, who's holding a bouquet of flowers. The soundtrack has hushed down and the score has reduced to a two-note figure on the violins (a monophonic inverted third). (Somebody can correct me if I'm not referring to these intervals correctly.) On the third repeat (as the touching exchange between Queen and little girl concludes and the girl hands over her flowers), the cellos come in, with a loud major triad. Incredibly moving and fulfilling.

3) Twin Peaks (1990) Somewhere towards the beginning of Season 2, James Hurley busts out his acoustic/electric guitar, turns the reverb to eleven (this being an Angelo Badalamenti score) and sings a little song called "Just You," accompanied by Donna Hayward and Maddie Ferguson on vocal backup. They sing the first verse of the song, just like that (call-and-response vocals, guitar arpeggio) and then, as they turn into the second verse, out of nowhere, an electric bass guitar comes in, introducing a pleasant walking bass line. Not nearly as dramatic as the above two examples but very nice and very Twin Peaks.

4) Miracle Mile (1988) This one's extremely simple, but wow, is it effective. The movie's been going for about eighteen minutes, and, the entire time, Tangerine Dream has been doing their (unobtrusive, atmospheric, rhythmic) thing, just like they do in the opening scenes of Risky Business. Then it's nighttime and Anthony Edwards is at the garishly-lit diner where he just missed Mare Winningham, and all the music goes away (replaced by clanking dishes, etc.). He tries Winningham on the pay phone outside the diner, leaves a message, hangs up; the phone rings immediately, and he grabs it, thinking it's her...but it's not. I won't tell you what the phone call is, but, slowly, a very low, very loud single bass note fades in. (I think it's a single note; it's been a while.) Given that this is the 1980s, it's pretty obviously a synthesizer note, but it's got a rich, fat sound like a cello section; it's filled with power and dread, and you understand that the nightmare is beginning.

5) 2001: A Space Odyssey (1968) Not an isolated note or chord like the preceding examples, but I think I can include it just because György Ligeti is so weird. The piece in question is called "Requiem For Soprano, Mezzo Soprano, Two Mixed Choirs & Orchestra" -- it repeats four times in the movie (including the overture, where it's excerpted) (Why don't movies have overtures any more, damn it? Now all we get is fucking Coke ads), each instance corresponding to another appearance of the monolith. It's a strange, atonal (I think...help me out, 50) piece of modern music, with lots of eerie choral effects and extremely sparse orchestration. And, at a minute and 16 seconds, as the apes start touching the monolith, the cellos come in. Like I said, a slightly less obvious example, but I have to include it because it's the earliest such example I can remember. I still vividly recall being in the theater as a kid and (having played the phonograph record) anticipating that moment, without really even understanding that it involved the bass clef or anything like that, but feeling the excitement of, well, the (mythical) instant of human evolution that Kubrick conveys in that scene.

Mel Gibson to Oksana: ‘You’re Going to Get Raped By a Pack of N-Words’

From thesuperficial, Realizing it’s time to build on his groundbreaking, anti-Semitic “Sugar Tits” rant, Mel Gibson reportedly went on a racial tirade while arguing with his ex Oksana Grigorieva about her appearance. As threatened last week, she happened to be taping the entire thing and just now released/sold the recordings to RadarOnline. Apparently Mel has heard the tapes and now his attorney will only answer questions through a publicist:

“You’re an embarrassment to me,” Mel tells her at one point.
“You look like a f***ing pig in heat, and if you get raped by a pack of n***ers, it will be your fault.”
Mel’s attorney told RadarOnline.com that he is no longer commenting on the case and said Mel’s publicist is the only Mel official who will speak for him.
Mel’s profane outbursts are littered with references to Oksana being a “whore” and “c**t”.
In another tirade, Mel tells Oksana: “How dare you act like such a bitch when I have been so f**king nice.”
He warns, “I am going to come and burn the f**king house down… but you will blow me first.”

Anyone wonder if he actually got the beeje? I mean, playing the arson card? That’s practically genius. I’m writing that one down.

Oh, right, the racial stuff. Watch out, Mel Gibson’s a bigot, everybody! Alert the White House and Parliament and so on and so forth. (Anyone have a pen?)

Roger Ebert hates The Last Airbender

"The Last Airbender" is an agonizing experience in every category I can think of and others still waiting to be invented. The laws of chance suggest that something should have gone right. Not here. It puts a nail in the coffin of low-rent 3D, but it will need a lot more coffins than that.

Read full review here

Gethuman.com gets you to an operator immediately

If you're sick of pressing 7 for more options, consult the GetHuman database of secret phone numbers and codes that get an actual, live person on the line for customer service at various companies throughout the U.S.

Check it out here

Gore Verbinski to Remake "The Secret Life of Walter Mitty"

From worstpreviews, Director Gore Verbinski, the director "Pirates of the Caribbean" and the new Johnny Depp movie "Rango," has now announced his next movie which is a remake of "The Secret Life of Walter Mitty."

The story will follow Walter Mitty, a wimpy comic book writer who dreams of being a hero and who suddenly finds himself caught up in an adventure trying to find the Dutch crown jewels that had been missing since World War II.

No word on who will play the lead character, but such actors as Mike Myers and Sacha Baron Cohen have been attached in the past. The screenplay is written by Steve Conrad (The Weather Man, The Karate Kid).