You can practically smell the Jar Jar

From Geekologie: Well folks, don't bother marking your calendars, because February 10, 2012 is the date you can go stuff another $16 in George Lucas' moneygrubbing pocket to see Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace in 3-D. If you're lucky, maybe on the way to the local cineplex you'll have a flashback to 1999 when you were excitedly going to see the original without realizing GEORGE WAS ABOUAT TO DROP A GIANT STINKING TURD RIGHT BEFORE YOUR EYES. Aaaaand hopefully that'll prevent you from seeing it this time. If not, there's this picture of Darth Maul in 3-D glasses. It's the best part of the movie. Get it? BECAUSE IT DOESN'T F***ING EXIST. Suck it, George. Gobble that Gungan wiener!

Harry Potter facts presented in hysterical non-Muggle format

Click for bigness!
From slashfilm: Wayne Dorrington created a cool infographic filled with fun facts about the Harry Potter series. The best part is that the infographic is styled off of the Daily Prophet, the newspaper of the magical world (which was seen in all of the movies).

[Octo]: As much as I love all most things Harry Potter, if I had to read a newspaper like that I'd blow my eyes out with my wand. I know you live in magic foofy world, wizards, but good graphic design is all around you. Check it!

Sweathogs to reunite, bask in mutual success

From EW.com: Welcome Back, Kotter will receive the 35th Anniversary Award at the 2011 TV Land Awards, which tape April 10 and air April 17. John Travolta will reunite with his fellow cast members to accept the honor. (“What?…Where?”) As of now, Lawrence Hilton-Jacobs (Freddie “Boom Boom” Washington), Ron Palillo (Arnold Horshack) and Marcia Strassman (Mr. Kotter’s wife, Julie) are confirmed to join Vinnie Barbarino. Other names will be announced.

Previously announced 2011 honorees include Regis Philbin (Legend Award), Family Ties (Fan Favorite Award) and The Cosby Show (Impact Award). Welcome Back, Kotter starred comic Gabe Kaplan as Gabe Kotter, a man who returns to his Brooklyn high school to teach remedial social studies to the underachieving Sweathogs. Season 1 of the show hit DVD in 2007. Perhaps this will help move along seasons 2 through 4?

Sesame Street: Lost

I love this video because it's the only thing I know that, discounting the normal-looking kid and his bicycle, perfectly matches the visual vibe of Yellow Submarine.

Sesame Street: Singing Orange

So what's weirder about this, the fact that she sings her own face off or the fact that she's just a damn orange and somebody's gonna come along and eat her?

Sesame Street: Daddy Dear

Right, so despite the overwhelming response to the last post I've decided to slap some weird old Sesame Street clips on the blog. This one is sweet but also weird. The flowers with feet, the ducks with ears, the tadpoles "leaving", the little doll receding into blackness... just the right edge of disturbing to stick with you forever. Enjoy.

The Dark Knight Rises plot elements revealed

Howdy, bloggers! JPX is off in the boonies so I'll be handling your media exposure for a few days... although he does get credit for this one because he emailed me about it. But he'll probably drop his iPhone in the snow later and you'll be mine... ALL MINE.

Anyway, the following is from Moviesonline. I suppose a spoiler warning is in order, but these are very basic story points and hardly count as spoily. (Also, I don't know if this poster is official or not.)

The plot for Dark Knight Rises has been carefully kept under wraps for quite some time but now it seems it has leaked onto the internet via BadAssDigest. Right off the bat its been confirmed what we already knew that Anne Hathaway will be playing Catwoman and as I speculated in an earlier article she will not be a villain but will rather be an ally of The Dark Knights and will help the caped one in taking on The League of Shadows.

The League of Shadows appeared in Batman Begins with Liam Neeson playing the role of Tas Al’Ghul. I had wondered if Talia Al’Ghul would appear in the film and it seems that she will and that Bane played by Tom Hardy will be the main weapon behind their assault on The Dark Knight.

As for Joseph Gordon Levitt it was assumed that he would be playing the son of the slain mob boss from the first Batman Begins but now there is talk he might be playing a different role including Black Mask.

What do you think of the return of The League of Shadows? Do you like me get the feeling a hero might fall in this the final installment in Nolans Dark Knight franchise?

Hump Day Slam - Washed up shark jumpers!

JPX and I get off on observing the last dying breaths of old sitcoms. It amuses and comforts us to witness a desperate struggle to remain relevant after it’s clear that their time has passed.

We all know about Fonzie’s infamous “shark jump” which came to define the precise moment when Happy Days ran out of ideas and officially became lazy and stupid.



But did you know that Laverne and Shirley went on for a season after Shirley left the cast? I sure didn’t. It’s the kind of thing they don’t teach you in school. You just have to learn it on your own.




So today’s poetry competition is in honor of washed up celebrities/shark jumping.

Did you know that The Monkees limped on without Mike and Peter for one positively dreadful album called “Changes”?


Do you remember when Van Halen thought they could make lightning strike thrice by replacing Sammy Hagar with Gary “I’m a big pussy and my band’s only hit is a power ballad” Cherone?



Do you recall how Steven Seagal went from being the baddest motherfucker on the planet into a big fat bead wearing Buddhist?



Remember this asshole?



I sure do.

Urban Dictionary defines “washed up” as something that has once had it's peak of greatness far too long ago, and is now still being over used, over played, and is still spoon fed. Let us poetically celebrate the fall from grace, be it actor, TV show, musical group or politician. Mark. Set. GO!

The worst Halloween costumes ever made (part 1)

Today’s kids are so damn spoiled. When October rolls around and they start mulling over the most important decision of the month, “What am I going to be for Halloween?” they have little to worry about given the vast array of professional-looking costume choices they have at their disposal. Heck, these days when October arrives Halloween costume shops pop up for the month (usually in an abandoned Kay Bee Toys, which is normally just a depressing reminder of the state of today’s toy stores – don’t get me started, damnit!). Today’s kids have no idea what Halloween was like 2-3 decades ago when the only choices for costumes consisted of crappy vinyl atrocities, which rarely resembled who they were supposed to represent and fell apart after you ran around in the yard wearing them 3 weeks before Halloween (damn you, Superman costume!) Sure your parents could make a costume for you, but that never worked out very well either. After pouring through countless examples (on work’s dime, of course), I have assembled some of the best examples of these awful costumes. Click to enlarge.



Behold, Jaws! Yep, apparently the Halloween gods figured out a way to milk more money out of the (adult) Jaws sensation of 1975. Adding insult to injury there was no attempt to make a realistic shark head. The lazy bastards lifted the shark image from the poster and then used the same picture for the front of the costume.



Not to be outdone the people who capitalized on the popularity of Jaws to create the 1977 film The Deep, which really had little to do with sharks, plagiarized the Jaws costume idea and created this silly tiger shark costume. Oooh, scary! At least the “jaws” are pointed in the right direction.



“Look gang, I’m a Rubix Cube! Want to come solve me?” Seriously, did they sell even ONE of these costumes?



I don’t know which of these Peanuts costumes look worse (*cough Woodstock cough*). Years ago while looking at a giant stuffed Garfield Octopunk remarked, “You know, the larger they make a cartoon character the less it looks like that cartoon character.” Octo’s wisdom is just as relevant today. How lazy are these costumes? You mean to tell me that they couldn’t even give Charlie Brown his signature zigzag stripe?



Was there a single kid in the 70s who wanted to sport a Penny “Laverne De Fazio” Marshall” costume? Schlemiel! Schlimazel! Hasenpfeffer, oh fuck it.



So let’s say you were a kid in the early 80s obsessed with videogames. What better way to celebrate your new (addictive) hobby than to dress up as one of your favorite games? Behold, Asteroids! I’m going to destroy your ship, watch out! I bet he was the life of the party after he drank some of the spiked punch.

So gang, what were your worst costumes?

William Shatner Wants "Star Trek 2" Role

From worstpreviews, Throughout the entire filming process of "Star Trek," we've been hearing William Shatner complain how director JJ Abrams didn't put him in the movie. We later found out that Abrams offered him a cameo, but Shatner wanted an actual role, despite the fact that his character was killed off in "Star Trek: Generations."

Now that the sequel is getting ready to begin filming, Shatner is once again out there talking about his involvement. "I would be so interested in doing it," he said. "But I don't see how it's possible and maybe we all have gone beyond that."

There is a very good chance that Shatner will once again want a big role and Abrams will not be able to make that happen. Either way, we'll soon find out how the whole thing worked out since the film is scheduled to hit theaters on June 29th, 2012.

The 12 Most Unintentionally Disturbing Christmas Ads

From cracked, It's not the fact that Santa is advertising Byrrh wine that makes this ad disturbing; it's that Santa has clearly gotten so shit-faced that he no longer feels the cold, and God has sent an angel down to ease his transition from life as he slowly freezes to death on somebody's roof.

But you know what's even worse?

Look at his sunken, withered eyes. He's clearly been dead for days. The angel came too late.

Santa died alone.

See them all here