Get ready to feel uncomfortable again

Is Hollywood headed to mars?

From latimes, Sources say that John Davis, the Fox-based producer behind such science-fiction hits as "Alien vs. Predator" and "I, Robot," has optioned film rights to the Ray Bradbury classic, in which humans land on Mars after a cataclysmic disaster and interact/clash with the natives in a series of interlinked adventures.

Bradbury's 1950 short-story collection has made it to the screen before, in a 1980 television miniseries that starred Rock Hudson and Bernadette Peters. But 30 years later, there's plenty more that technology (and 3-D?) could bring to the tales.

There's certainly ample narrative material in the book, which chronicle much of the action from humans' point of view, with some philosophical inquiry layered atop the pulp stories. One thing that may need to change, however, is the timing: Bradbury's original book set a chunk of the stories in the distant future -- in 2000 and 2005.

For The Lushes: Single-Serve Wine Glasses

From geekology, Do you like wine? I think wine is fine. As hell. I like pinot noir. Also, anything else with alcohol in it (except liver). And now you can buy wine by the disposable glassful! Hey -- lemme get a lil sippy-sippy.

the inventor of this disposable stemware actually took it on a show dedicated to finding cool new products, and it was rejected. The joke's on them; they're blowing up over in the UK. At £2.25 a glass (~$3.40) they're not exactly cost effective...

...cost aside, the real advantage is in the simple fact that it's sealed and good to go. The foil top is like a yogurt container's, keeping your wine fresh and your legal status legit.

I, for one, am not ashamed to admit I would double-fist pound the hell out of those things. And not like a dino either. Dammit, now I want some wine. And dino-sex. Quick, somebody distract me. HIYO, penis in my face!

1967 Vintage COLOR Twist N Turn Barbie Doll Commercial HQ (watch for surprise celebrity)

Octo and JPX looking cool 21 years ago

Cool game for the iPhone

Zombie Escape



From tuaw, This was probably my favorite game of the show -- it's a line-drawing game where you're tasked with drawing routes for survivors of a zombie apocalypse to rescue choppers. As they appear on sides of the touchscreen, it's your job to draw a path through the walking undead, and as the 28 days in the game go by, the difficulty ramps up with more undead and more survivors. Additionally, there are powerups and other items to collect, which give the game some tower defense-style elements, enabling you to defeat the undead from offscreen. But sending your survivors to get the powerups means they'll have to take separate routes and risk more danger.

Zombie Escape was about three weeks out from release when I saw it last week, so it should be on the App Store by the end of this month. It's definitely worth a look, especially if you're a fan of the line-drawing genre.

Gatoroid and Mega Python Facing Two Aging Pop Music Idols

From iwatchstuff, Thanks to the SyFy channel genuinely not giving a shit about what kind of crap they might be airing at any given moment, we've been treated to a number of match-ups you'd never see in nature nor on any channel that puts forth any effort whatsoever. Notably, in recent memory, we've seen Mega Shark versus Giant Octopus versus '80s pop icon Debbie Gibson, and Mega Piranhas versus helicopters versus '80s pop icon Tiffany. But you know what match-up we haven't seen, because SyFy just now came up with it but should still have it done in a few months? Debbie Gibson versus Tiffany versus Mega Python versus Gatoroid (standard Gatoroid, not Mega). This only makes sense:

Gibson will play a fanatical animal-rights activist who frees illegally imported exotic snakes from pet stores, sending them into the Everglades, where they grow to mega sizes. Tiffany will play an overzealous park ranger who uses dangerous methods to save endangered alligators.
"I know that pop culture fanatics have been dying for Tiffany and me to collaborate for the past 24 years!" said Gibson in a statement. "What better way to do it than by battling each other in a campy romp through the Everglades?”

"Only in my dreams have I been able to have a catfight with Debbie Gibson...until now!" Tiffany said. "This is soo MEGA cool!"


Is it "soo MEGA cool," Tiffany? Because I was thinking it sounded sort of pathetic-oid.

Also, it's DEBORAH Gibson now.

Product tie-in for yesterday's Haiku Hump Day

Futurama returns tonight

From ew, Tonight, Futurama will return from the dead for the fifth or sixth time. This is a sacred event. Five years ago, when I was rediscovering the show on Adult Swim reruns, news of Futurama‘s return would have caused my brain to explode. In fact, my brain did explode back in 2007, when the show’s creators announced the production of four direct-to-DVD movies. Then I actually saw the movies…and haven’t felt so disappointed by a franchise I love since The Phantom Menace taught us all a valuable lesson about intergalactic trade routes. All of which has me wondering: When Futurama returns this week, will it still be as good?

I don’t want to sound like a hater. There was some fun stuff in every movie. The time travel plot of Bender’s Big Score was twisty fun. The Beast With a Billion Backs features easily the best war against heaven since Paradise Lost. The end of Into the Wild Green Yonder was very emotional. And, well, I lied, there was nothing fun about Bender’s Game.

When you get right down to it, the films just felt like they paled in comparison to the original series. Every episode of Futurama threw alien cultures and futuristic satire in your face at a rapid-fire pace. (And the show could also move you to tears, something that The Simpsons stopped doing over a decade ago.) By comparison, the movies just felt like lots of fan service with once-great characters turning into clichés; think Sex and the City 2 for the D&D set.

Exec-producer David X. Cohen talked to EW last month, and his teases for the show’s upcoming storylines (Robosexual marriage! Mutant rights! Katee Sackhoff!) has me hopeful that the show will return to its former glory. But what do you think, PopWatchers? Will Futurama be another Family Guy, a show that rose from the dead to achieve pop culture dominance? Or will Futurama be another Family Guy, a brilliant series that was never as good (IMHO) in its post-cancellation run? And is Futurama the most quotable show ever? Windmills do not work that way! Good night!

Just Follow The Directions: How To Beat Super Mario 3 In 11-Minutes

From geekology, These are the button-by-button instructions on how to beat Super Mario 3 in 11-minutes. I assume they work but I wouldn't know because I can't read and play video games at the same time. As a matter of fact, I can't read and do anything at the same time. Because I never learned to read do anything. What? Tying shoes is for pussies.

See video here

Haiku Hump Day: FINISH HIM!!! (Fighting, Conflict, Violence, General Antagonization Of Each Other)

Since the dawn of made-up time, when Cain fought Abel, and since the dawn of real-life time, when caveman brother fought caveman brother for that last morsel of dingo kidney, mankind has settled disputes with force. Back in the day, it was club vs. bone. Today, it’s Predator drone vs. club. Either way, as a species, we’re always at each other’s throats.


“They thought I said ‘hell.’ I distinctly said, ‘Unleash shell’!”

Which is kind of the point this week. The ancient Romans may not have invented gladiatorial combat, but they did bring it into its modern form, and with that, its modern symbolism.


“We’ve got a great new Christian Disposal System we’ve just installed.”


And by symbolism, I mean that it is the SPECTACLE of violence that we gather to witness, so that we effectively release that primal need wired into each and every one of us through a viewing of virtual and/or real violence. I read all that somewhere; it was either MAD Magazine or the philosopher Roland Barthes. Oh, yeah - it was Barthes. (Definitely click on that. The first few paragraphs sound much smarter than me, and clarify what I’m getting at here…)

In our enlightened day and age, this “primal release” takes on many forms:







Viewing all of these things allow us to live more civilized lives.
We may say we want to kill our boss, but instead of actually carrying out the deed, all of our pent-up rage and hatred towards our boss is released when we see Stone Cold Steve Austin flip off HIS boss, Vince McMahon, and give him a patented Stone Cold Stunner through a table. Our violent demons are exorcised. I read all that somewhere; it was either Roland Barthes or WWE Magazine. Oh, yeah – it was WWE Magazine.



Romans may have felt, from time to time, like going on a Christian and/or prisoner killing rampage. Wrestling fans may have felt like going out to kill Russians, or gays, or gay Russians, or whoever was the heel that week.



"Mix well for maximum effect."

But the shared public spectacle of watching justice be served, so to speak, allowed those same Romans to settle down, return peaceably to the public baths, have crazy orgiastic public sex, then gorge and vomit all night. So there was that.

Anyway, Fight! Fight! Fight! It’s all about Fights this week, y’all. Combat, it’s forms throughout history, and our modern interpretations that we have today. And also, you can describe how you felt like killing that shithead Steve Anneese after he clotheslined you from behind in the hallway after lunch because he was pissed that you took his seat in the lunchroom that day (applies to HandsomeStan only – JSP, you were there). God, I wanted to kill that fucker. Good thing Demolition was on TV that night.



So this week is also about A) fights you’ve been in, B) wanted to be in, C) wanted no part of, D) enjoyed watching (movie fights et al), and E) any other conflict (physical, verbal or mental) that you’ve gone through.

Truth be told, there's somewhat of a grading curve this week. The more haikus about professional wrestling (in particular 80s WWF wrestling), the happier I'll be. And feel free to bash it as the dumbest thing ever visited upon society; I gladly embrace dissenting viewpoints. I would have made this the sole topic, but all that drivel at the top is my attempt to broaden it out and make this sound like a more sophisticated topic than it really is. And to hopefully not have the women click away in disgust, which probably happened four paragraphs ago.

Anyway, Fight! Fight! Fight!

(Oh, and Surprise! Thanks, JSP!)