The Mummy

(1959) **1/2

Professor Stephen Banning and his son John (Peter Cushing) are on an archeological expedition in Egypt, where they are seeking the lost tomb of Ananka. Suffering from a broken leg, John is not able to directly participate, however he receives updates in his tent from time to time. Like the old fart that always warns the kids to stay away from Crystal Lake, a mysterious Egyptian warns the party to stay away from the tomb lest they wish to suffer horrible consequences. As is always the case the warnings are ignored. I mean, these guys pry open the tomb faster than an alcoholic pulling the cork off a cheap bottle of wine. Once in the tomb Professor Banning finds not only Princess Ananka, but an ancient scroll. He reads the scroll, of course, which unleashes the (slow-moving) Kharis from another tomb leaning against the wall. The scroll was an incantation, you see, and it brought Kharis back to life. As you might recall from the old Universal picture, seeing Kharis induces instant madness and the professor mind becomes more scrambled than an omelet at an all-you-can-eat buffet. Kharis and the scroll disappear without a trace.



Fast forward many years and we find John and his wife visiting the professor in a home for the mentally ill. During a moment of lucidity the professor reveals what happened to him years earlier in the tomb. Additionally he warns John that the mummy is going to be seeking revenge on all who desecrated the tomb. Giving his father the same look of disgust that he gave that imperial soldier who questioned the vulnerability of the death star, John attributes his father’s story and concerns as the ranting of a lunatic. Of course the professor ends up being right and Kharis indeed returns with blood thirst in his heart.



I experience cognitive dissonance every time I watch a Hammer film. My mind struggles with two conflicting thoughts (1) I love Christopher Lee and (2) watching Christopher Lee in a horror film should be bliss but I just don’t like Hammer horror. I go into Hammer films with the best of intentions. Yet time after time I find myself fidgeting, waiting for the film to be over. For the most part I find these films to be an exercise in tedium. In the past it has been difficult to pinpoint exactly why Hammer films don’t work for me because the reasons have been elusive and multifaceted. Watching this version of The Mummy, however, finally nailed it for me; Hammer films are boring, boring, boring. Sure you get a few scenes here and there with Lee murdering people as the Mummy or Dracula, or, you get the picture. Yet between the brief bursts of action are long, long stretches of tedious dialogue. In the middle of The Mummy, for example, there is a flashback that I swear goes on forever.


Help me, I’m stuck in an interminable flashback and I look silly.

It doesn’t help that Peter Cushing narrates the flashback rather than allowing the images to speak for themselves. Also, Cushing’s narration suggests that he was there (think O.J.’s recent book of “fiction”). He possesses too much detailed knowledge about the mummy’s history, which also contradicts his frequent skepticism regarding everything that has transpired up to this point in the film. For someone who has resisted the very idea of a vengeful mummy, he certainly appears to be a scholar on the matter. My other problem with Hammer films are that the outdoor sets are obviously indoors, which constantly detracts from this story. It’s not to say that there’s anything wrong with indoor sets, but for some reason, perhaps it has something to do with the too-bright colors of Technicolor, I find the overall “look” of Hammer films distracting, like being stuck in the land of the Care Bears. When you see a steamy bog in a Hammer film your eye can’t help looking for the dry ice. This level of “fakeness” is just one of a million reasons I could never follow a soap opera. Also, having watched all of the Universal Mummy movies I can honestly say that in the end I find the mummy’s story to be boring. For some reason, the mummy is rarely featured in these films despite being so freakin’ cool looking. If I were to make a Mummy movie he would be in every scene tearing heads off. Instead these films always come off as a fictional history lesson.



This is not to say that The Mummy is bereft of charm. Despite my complaints Lee and Cushing are always a joy to watch and I enjoy the over-the-top nature of the violence. Hammer films convince you that driving a stake through the heart of a vampire would be as easy as pushing a pin into a pincushion. In The Mummy, the mummy throws people across the room when he’s barely raised his arm. What’s also funny about this “monster” is that he moves at a glacial pace and would be easy to get away from. People in mummy movies always hang around too long until the mummy reaches them. Getting away from the mummy would be like evading the retarded kid at recess.