Friday, June 22, 2012

Early, spoiler-free reviews suggest that The Amazing Spider-Man kind of sucks


Twitch:

The Amazing Spider-Man certainly delivers the minimum required of its expensive genre, and those who just want another fix of super hero action with a bit of heart will probably have a good time with it. But, it’s never at all jaw-dropping, stunning or even particularly exciting. It’s the type of film that’s not painful to watch and equally easy to shrug off.

SFX:

Any worries that after the much-loved Sam Raimi Spider-Man films (well, the first two anyway…) Sony would reboot the franchise with a loud, vacuous, gimmicky, MTV-edited, soulless crowd-pleaser are dispelled immediately with a summer blockbuster that doesn’t have an action sequence for a good half hour. The most amazing thing about this Spider-Man is how much heart and genuinely warm storytelling it has… It may not have the non-stop action and spectacle of ‘Avengers Assemble,’ but it does have characters you can fall in love with, and bags of charm. You feel the series is in safe hands with Webb, Garfield and Stone.

The London Evening Standard:

Webb’s film is slow on plot, skimpy on character development. It takes 45 minutes for [redacted], an hour till we see the spider suit. Then Peter goes from dorky to cocky without passing charm on the way. Brittle Gwen turns gooey the moment he turns up at school battered from fighting crime. So, chicks dig scars, right?

More here

5 comments:

JPX said...

"It takes 45 minutes for [redacted], an hour till we see the spider suit."

Exactly why I hate origin stories.

Jordan said...

Can't this stuff be removed from the front page? Spoilers etc.? Why do we keep going through this?

Crystal Math said...

Despite the fact that 99% of the time I have no expectations for sci-fi/fantasy movies (superhero movies included in this), I'm not feeling any burst of energy behind this one.

Hey, Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter opens today!

Johnny Sweatpants said...

I agree JPX. A fucking hour before we see him in costume? Pfft. My Spider-Man script would go something like this.

Scene 1:

Aunt May walks up to the counter at her local bank.

Bank Teller: May I help you?

Aunt May: Yes, dear. I'd like to deposit my pension check into a different account because..

- Suddenly Rhino crashes through the wall screaming like a madman.

Rhino: AAAAAAARRRRRRGGGGHHHH!!! GIVE ME ALL YOUR MONEY!

Crystal Math said...

JSP why aren't you in the film industry?

Malevolent

 2018  ***1/2 It's 1986 for some reason, and a team of paranormal investigators are making a big name for themselves all over Scotland. ...