Friday, December 20, 2013

JPX's Best Of Horrorthon 2013

I can’t believe that we are already in the middle of December!  I have never been this late posting my superlatives before.  I think we have all been unusually busy or just plain burnt out playing on Horrorthon (I’m speaking about you, JSP).  We will be doing a wrap up at some point so there is an “ending” to this year’s contest.  I need to update Scorrorthon and JSP will be completing the monster list.  I watched some terrific movies this year and had a great time doing so. 

Horrorthon 2013!

All Around Favorite:  Macabre (Rumah Dara)

Hands down, Macabre is simply the best horror movie in years.  The “mother” character is instantly iconic and chilling.  This film never lets up for one second and the gore is shocking.  I fully expect all of you to watch this next year

Runners up:  Escape From Tomorrow, We Are What We Are

Worst Movie:  Keep My Grave Open

True I watched a poor quality version of this 70’s clunker but even a pristine print would not change my opinion of this boring, Psycho-rip-off, slasher.

So Bad its Good:  Amityville 4:  The Evil Escapes

A made-for-TV Amityville horror movie starring Patty Duke in the most ridiculous Amityville premise to date – how could this not be my top choice for this category?

Most Disturbing:  We Are What We Are

The less you know about this chilling Gothic film the better your cinematic experience will be.  It’s a slow burn with terrific acting.

 Goriest (tie):  Macabre and Thantomorphose

I forgot to review V/H/S 2 which has a stand-out installment in this anthology series directed by Kimo Stamboel and Timo Tjahjanto who also directed Macabre.  Given that I did not review it the honor goes to both Macabre and Thantomorphse.  Thantomorphose is 90 minutes of a pretty, young woman slowly decomposing as she realizes her life has been pointless.

Scariest:  Would You Rather

I didn’t watch anything this year that really scared me but the predicaments that the characters are placed in become increasingly disturbing – great, tense stuff!

Best Looking Monster:  Big Ass Spider!

This is the only “monster” movie I watched and it totally delivers on its title!

Best Death:  You’re Next

You will never look at a blender the same way again…

Most Avoidable Death:  Every single death that occurs in all the Amityville Horror films

Just leave the fucking house!

See you next October! 


DCD said...

"Just leave the fucking house!"

Hilarious, JPX! Great wrap up, you did watch some good movies and I will hopefully be able to catch some of them next year!

Johnny Sweatpants said...

I will be kicking off next year with Macabre and I must say your quote "You will never look at a blender the same way again…" sent shivers up my spine and inspires me to watch You're Next as well. I apologize for pretty much abandoning ship this year but I still promise to at the very least write thoughtful reviews for The Last Circus and The Item (both Catfreeek recommendations- the former superb, the latter so bad it's good).

Regardless - great job this year JPX!

AC said...

agreed, great job jpx, and congratulations on (unofficially) winning this year!

Octopunk said...

Okay, sorry I'm commenting late, but this was a great post to read on my last day of work before vacation. You really found some weird stuff this year, JPX, and I love movies that expand the blog's catalogue of the strange. And congrats on winning!

I hope everyone is having a nice lead-up to Xmas. Horrorthon!