Wednesday, September 19, 2012

Sucker Punch (2011)


* 1/2
When I first saw this movie poster it brought me back to the days of the Spice Girls -- all I could think of when I added it to my Netflix queue is "girl powah!"

The resemblance pretty much ends there.

Sucker Punch begins in an undisclosed era, in an undisclosed bleak location, with a troubled blond girl literally fighting off her tyrannical step-father from abusing her and her sister. A cover of "Sweet Dreams" is played in the background by someone trying to sound like Bjork and t.A.T.u. because they called in sick. Film is slowed down then sped up again to emphasize bullets traveling through the air, or to accentuate the gentle golden locks of our protagonist as she is taken away to a mental institution.

It is then revealed, the bleak location of this inconsistent, deceivingly-feminist action fantasy film happens in . . . VERMONT.

Thanks a whole fucking lot, Zack Snyder.

Anyway, the film meanders in and out of inconsistent but visually stunning sequences, with closing action that made me want to hurl and cut off every man's package within a 20-mile radius -- "Girl Powah!" -- but really, how can that many men in a movie all be such bastards?!??

In closing for this pre-Hthon review, I want to make the observation that Sucker Punch, for all its visually stunning credit, could have benefited from the omission of several pouty and worried faces of its lead Emily Browning. The first 45 minutes is like staring into the face of a child who doesn't want broccoli for dinner:
"You mean I have to eat the green stuff?"

Yes, yes you do Baby Doll. And you'd better enjoy it or else.

7 comments:

Johnny Sweatpants said...

Nice review! Boy am I ever glad I didn't watch this with you, for both my brain and package's sake.

JPX said...

Hilarious and excellent review, Crystal! I seem to recall some Horrorthonners enjoying this film (maybe you have to have a penis?) but it was nice to see a different take.

Octopunk said...

Oh, Sucker Punch, nobody understands you like I do!

Really though, the second time I saw this in IMAX all four of us loved it and I think we might be the only four people on Earth to feel that way (and I'm happy to say one of them was my lady). This movie is how I wish Inception had been.

I will admit that even though I bought the dvd the day it came out, I've only watched the fantasy sequences since then.

Good review, CM. It has, dare I say... punch?

Catfreeek said...

I did like the fantasy sequences as well but the drab real world was a real put off.

AC said...

entertaining review, think i'll steer clear.

Crystal Math said...

JSP I could/would never do you any bodily harm BUT I will concede that my knee-jerk reaction to misogyny is castration . . . maybe I should work on some other way of taking out my rage against male chauvinist pigs?

Also the depressing lighting and impression that Vermont is peopled with male chauvinist pigs isn't making me look forward to traveling there for Thankstaking.

JPX I can see how some would like it and I don't think it has anything to do with cisgenderedness; I'm sure there's a solid fanbase and like I said the visuals were stunning. The story line and that chick's blank, depressed look got under my skin.

Landshark said...

I caught this late night on HBO a few months back. The visuals kept me around for a while, but yeah, overall the writing and story just didn't hold up.