Dust off your poetic souls and count out seventeen beans, it's time to revisit the ancient wordsmithing art form of the Far East and also junior high school!
The specifics are your choice, but the guideline today is that you, friend, take the persona of whatever evil boogedy-boo happens to catch your fancy. You are the kaiju, the zombie, the slasher, the thing under the bed. Tell us what it's like to be you! We're on your side today! (Five days to go! Can you believe it!?!)
58 comments:
Hollow brick boxes
Distant screams between my toes
Ah, downtown Tokyo
My blade is ready
But she can see my approach
I'll just hide offscreen
shambling ends boredom
cramping limbs unfurl slowly
closet door swings wide
Back in Haddonfield
I have to kill Laurie Strode
First I need to poop
I drowned in the lake
Now I must kill teenagers
Why is that the case?
cook's illustrated
arrives just in time with that
liver recipe
Long day killing teens
Time for me to go to bed
They call me "Freddy"
Interesting thought
Does Freddy K. have nightmares?
What would that look like?
People say I suck,
And they are quite correct 'cause
I'm a vampire, yo.
I move shit around
All over the damn house cause
I'm a poltergeist.
Remember when I
Ate Johnny Depp with a bed?
Heh heh, that was cool.
I have a big brain
I ate my mom for breakfast.
I'm an It's Alive.
Wow I really stink
Bathing don't cure rotting flesh
fuck it I'll eat brains
Hiding in the hay.
Watching silly girl approach.
Don't come in the barn!
Belisle so deformed
Yet sex was his not his twin
His dick was bigger
Email from Octo.
Subject: "Wow this is crazy!"
Stupid web virus.
Twilight vampy asks
Why shun me oh Horrorthon
Fuck off twinkle bitch
Landshark speaks the truth
Octo spam bombed me also
earn big cash from home
Strolling in sewer
Oh man, what is that odor?
Aaaah! It's a monsturd!
Gorging on sailors
Scylla's got nothin' on me
I got six necks, bitch
(Yeah, I went mythologically obscure. Maybe I'm rusty...more to come)
We've got huge spaceships
Force fields, lasers and saucers
Let's attack naked
This asteroid sucks
Lunch never flies in my mouth
OOOOH!!! Tiny spaceship!
Passive aggressive
Poor communication skills
Ghosts tend to be dicks
What do you want, ghost?
I can't help you if you're vague
Please share your feelings
I'm sad that you're dead
But please stop moving my chairs
It's irritating
Sorry 'bout the spam!
Still changing all my passwords
Worse than pesky ghosts
I am ravenous!
What's on the menu tonight?
My favorite! Braaaaaaiiiinnnnsss.
So hot and lonely
Stop kicking sand in my mouth
Sarlacc is depressed
Make me a bride, Doc!
Not sure about the bee-hive...
Now she hates me?? Great.
It's been seven days?
Shit! I set the alarm wrong.
Now what do I do?
Ghost, please cut the crap
Slamming my door solved nothing
Your antics bore me
(to JSP)
Not trying to talk
Just an awesome ghost party
You're not invited
You try being dead
Invisible keg party
Spice for afterlife
When I was alive,
I was an asshole, and now,
I'm the evil dead.
I got fucked up hair
Cause I got thrown in a well.
Now you gonna die.
Mmmm, that snack was good.
I'm where now? Amity?
Think I'll stick around.
Where's the damn sugar!?
Our giant queen is cranky,
outta my way, kid!
All work and no play
Makes Johnny a dull boy--schwak!
All work and no play....
Came outta Mommy,
Then pushed her off the landing.
Next stop: the White House.
Eating wooden boy
Making Kid Stan shit his pants
My name is Monstro
"I shall not pass," huh?
Whip your ankle, wizard-bitch
Balrog don't play dat
Might be a small guy,
But my knife and teeth are sharp!
Your ankles are mine!!
Haunt Cuisine
Fresh, hot, delicious
Consistency of custard
The sweet taste of brains
Musings of a Zombie
Shuffle, shuffle, step
Groan, falter, shuffle
Turn head, bite, swallow
It’s Not Easy Being Grrrreen
Entrails drag behind
Rotted flesh hangs from my bones
Wish I had stayed dead
Misunderstood Monster
Hey, don’t run away
Really, it’s just glandular
The name’s Frank, not Blob
Oh boy it's summer!
more kids for me to slaughter
while they do the deed
Hat, cape, unibrow
Coffin Joe with nails so long
won't you scratch my back
Our queues all stocked up
Netflix must love Horrorthon
October sales spike
Cherry blossoms fall
a lone figure shuffles past
he can smell your brain
Jason's birth control
kills them before they finish
went before they came
(Back to Handsome Stan)
Dissed from ghost party
Self esteem not faring well
At least I'm alive
(Ode to JPX)
Please don't poop at work
I don't care if you're a ghost
The smell upsets me
I get it - you died
Sucks, but it's not my concern
Bother someone else
Don't argue with ghosts
They cannot be reasoned with
Stubborn dead bastards
So it's come to this
The ghost clearly wants me dead
Everybody dies
Zombies: Hope you choke!
Ghost version: If you off me
Fuck your dead ass up
It's a dead guy fight
Over by the dead bike racks
He stole his dead lunch
The silver lining -
Once dead you become a ghost
Your turn to annoy
British soldier-boys
Feistier than the others
Still, werewolf supper
Crawl out of the Earth
Time to indulge TRONKA-STYLE
I'ma chuck that car.
I may be a tard
But twice as big, with chainsaw
Make your face my mask
Alternate timeline:
Make crude clay figs, then eat them
At Martha Stewart's house
Got a sharp knife, but
I'm hilariously small
ZUNI WARRIOR
I wait and bombard
50Page Haiku Monster
All your words - worthless
(Cat, I LOVE the callback to "Cherry blossoms fall." In that vein...)
Cherry blossoms fall
Jugular veins ripped open
Your mom now kills you
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