Monday, October 04, 2004

A Frightful School of Horror

(2001) *

This film was a holdover from last year’s horrorthon. I decided to watch it in at 11pm in an effort to salvage my day of crappy horror. What a mistake! Clearly made with the hope of raking in the big bucks by riding in on the coat-tails of successful urban-legend tales such as The Ring, A Frightful School Horror is without a doubt one of the limpest, most horror-free, and most boring films it's ever been my punishment to have to sit through. The box on the DVD states that the film cannot be shown to anyone under 18 years of age, which is the really confusing to me, because this movie was obviously targeted at an age range of 13-16 year olds. Gore-free, fear-free, uninspired, completely non-visual, with perhaps the cheesiest soundtrack ever, this film is a complete waste of time and money. I knew I was in trouble the moment I popped it into my player because it was shot on video. Now, I for one have never enjoyed daytime soap operas for 2 reasons, (1) they’re really, really dumb, and (2) I can’t buy into the reality of video. That is, when I look at a soap opera I am completely aware at all times that I’m watching something fake. Worse, A Frightful School of Horrors is shot with this weird soft-focus lens that makes it look like you’re watching a Hallmark commercial. This film fails on all levels and I will never watch it again.

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