Sunday, November 13, 2005

Friday the 13th Part 3: 3D


(1982) ***1/2 (previously reviewed by Octo & JPX)

I'm surprised that the trend of bringing back old B-movies to the big screen never really caught fire, aside from the inexplicable Rocky Horror Picture Show phenomenon. Friday the 13th Part 3 in 3D would be a perfect midnight movie selection for nostalgiac 80's slasher movie fans. Audience participation is all but required when lines like "would you want to be yourself if you looked like me?" are uttered by the awkward prankster, or when Tommy Chong reaches through the screen to offer you a larger than life doob. The proper responses are "Awwwwww..." and "Whooooooh!!" respectively. Crappily, the 3 dimensional effects were only working well for a good 20 minutes of the movie. Shame on Coolidge Corner for ruining a rare opportunity to see this classic by their incompetent (or just downright lazy) projectionist (See JPX's angry/cranky letter to the theater). The one saving grace was that we were able to enjoy the harpoon sequence in all its three dimensional glory.

I'll spare you the plot synopsis (this is the 3rd review of this movie on the blog site) but Part 3D is simply a joy and can be filed under the "They-just-don't-make'em-like-this-anymore" category. I've said it before and I'll say it again - it's the best movie the series has to offer. If one hasn't seen any of the 11 Jason movies then they would be well advised to start here. Unlike some of the later sequels, Jason kills his hapless victims with grace and humility. Not even the faulty projection and the profoundly unfunny fat guy behind us could keep me from having a good time.

Like all F13 movies, the target audience here is rowdy teenagers on dates. The squeamish girl watching the movie screams, her date laughs and then puts his arm around her. Everybody wins. So in a way, Jason is actually helping teenagers by killing them. Hmmmmm...

12 comments:

Johnny Sweatpants said...

I was disappointed in the audience for laughing at the fat man's chennanigans but JPX counteracted by yelling "Shoehorn! You people will laugh at anything..." Great stuff.

Octopunk said...

Man, that's an ancient Gary Turgeon joke.

"Well I'm just gonna come right out and say it. Friday the 13th Part 2 is the best of the bunch."

-- Summerisle, October 20th

"I've said it before and I'll say it again - it's the best movie the series has to offer."

-- Summerisle, just now in that review you finished reading a munute ago.

Now, some might see this as a confusing message, but I say it's a tribute to two things: First, the power of vintage horror movies to make you feel just right about death and gore. Second, the power of (cupping my hands around my mouth) THREEEE DEEEEE.

JPX said...

Gary Turgeon joke, what're you talking about? I never heard Gary say that in my life. I'd like to say that great minds think alike but Gary just wasn't the sharpest knife in the drawer, not the brightest bulb, a few cards short of a deck, well you get the idea.

Yeah, Summerisle, make up your mind, is it Part 2 or Part 3 that's your favorite? You can't have your machete and eat it too.

Johnny Sweatpants said...

For now, I'll stick by my Part 3 assessment. I was a little rash declaring Part 2 the champ.

But come to think of it, I haven't seen the Final Chapter in a while though...

Octopunk said...

Sooo, you finally admit the supremacy of the hockey mask over the (snort) pillow case. Welcome, welcome.

After my recent viewing of the series, Final Chapter is my favorite. Crispin Glover, man.

Gary would always say "shoehorn" as his example when he was pointing out that someone would laugh at anything (usually some giggly girl). After 20 years of boosting his joke, you've apparently forgotten.

JPX said...

No way, man, I can assure you that I've never heard Gary say that! I was just trying to think of a random word to yell out in the theater!

Octopunk said...

Well, then I guess it must all be one big coincidence (cough! Gary'scontrollingyourbrain cough!).

JPX said...

Maybe he's controlling your brain!

Octopunk said...

Hey, I'm not the one unconsciously recycling his jokes from junior high. Do you doubt my amazing memory powers?

Octopunk said...

Eureka! JPX just flexed his amazing memory powers and called me with the answer. "You'll laugh at anything, watch: shoehorn!" was first uttered by the character Buddy on the Dick Van Dyke show.

JPX wasn't reaching 20 years back to our former friend who said that, but only 10 years back to his own years of Nick At Nite obsession. Naturally, Gary never footnoted his joke, which, like many of his jokes, was characterized by excrutiating repitition and minimal effect.

JPX said...

Well I'm sure glad we got to the bottom of that. Shoehorn!

JPX said...

I can't believe I located this:

Maurice (Buddy) Sorrell: This guy laughs at everything! Bet he'll laugh if I say "shoehorn"... SHOEHORN!
Maxwell Cooley: heh huhh heh huhh!
[silly laughter]

Malevolent

 2018  ***1/2 It's 1986 for some reason, and a team of paranormal investigators are making a big name for themselves all over Scotland. ...