Wednesday, September 26, 2012

Horrorthon Countdown Challenge Day 5! It's Horrorthon Haiku Hump Day and the monster today is YOU


Dust off your poetic souls and count out seventeen beans, it's time to revisit the ancient wordsmithing art form of the Far East and also junior high school!

The specifics are your choice, but the guideline today is that you, friend, take the persona of whatever evil boogedy-boo happens to catch your fancy. You are the kaiju, the zombie, the slasher, the thing under the bed. Tell us what it's like to be you! We're on your side today! (Five days to go! Can you believe it!?!)

58 comments:

Octopunk said...

Hollow brick boxes
Distant screams between my toes
Ah, downtown Tokyo

Octopunk said...

My blade is ready
But she can see my approach
I'll just hide offscreen

AC said...

shambling ends boredom
cramping limbs unfurl slowly
closet door swings wide

JPX said...

Back in Haddonfield
I have to kill Laurie Strode
First I need to poop

I drowned in the lake
Now I must kill teenagers
Why is that the case?

AC said...

cook's illustrated
arrives just in time with that
liver recipe

JPX said...

Long day killing teens
Time for me to go to bed
They call me "Freddy"

JPX said...

Interesting thought
Does Freddy K. have nightmares?
What would that look like?

Julie said...

People say I suck,
And they are quite correct 'cause
I'm a vampire, yo.

Julie said...

I move shit around
All over the damn house cause
I'm a poltergeist.

Julie said...

Remember when I
Ate Johnny Depp with a bed?
Heh heh, that was cool.

Julie said...

I have a big brain
I ate my mom for breakfast.
I'm an It's Alive.

Catfreeek said...

Wow I really stink
Bathing don't cure rotting flesh
fuck it I'll eat brains

Landshark said...

Hiding in the hay.
Watching silly girl approach.
Don't come in the barn!

Catfreeek said...

Belisle so deformed
Yet sex was his not his twin
His dick was bigger

Landshark said...

Email from Octo.
Subject: "Wow this is crazy!"
Stupid web virus.

Catfreeek said...

Twilight vampy asks
Why shun me oh Horrorthon
Fuck off twinkle bitch

Catfreeek said...

Landshark speaks the truth
Octo spam bombed me also
earn big cash from home

Catfreeek said...

Strolling in sewer
Oh man, what is that odor?
Aaaah! It's a monsturd!

HandsomeStan said...

Gorging on sailors
Scylla's got nothin' on me
I got six necks, bitch

(Yeah, I went mythologically obscure. Maybe I'm rusty...more to come)

HandsomeStan said...

We've got huge spaceships
Force fields, lasers and saucers
Let's attack naked

HandsomeStan said...

This asteroid sucks
Lunch never flies in my mouth
OOOOH!!! Tiny spaceship!

Johnny Sweatpants said...

Passive aggressive
Poor communication skills
Ghosts tend to be dicks

Johnny Sweatpants said...

What do you want, ghost?
I can't help you if you're vague
Please share your feelings

I'm sad that you're dead
But please stop moving my chairs
It's irritating


Octopunk said...

Sorry 'bout the spam!
Still changing all my passwords
Worse than pesky ghosts

DCD said...

I am ravenous!
What's on the menu tonight?
My favorite! Braaaaaaiiiinnnnsss.

HandsomeStan said...

So hot and lonely
Stop kicking sand in my mouth
Sarlacc is depressed

DCD said...

Make me a bride, Doc!
Not sure about the bee-hive...
Now she hates me?? Great.

DCD said...

It's been seven days?
Shit! I set the alarm wrong.
Now what do I do?

Johnny Sweatpants said...

Ghost, please cut the crap
Slamming my door solved nothing
Your antics bore me

HandsomeStan said...

(to JSP)

Not trying to talk
Just an awesome ghost party
You're not invited

You try being dead
Invisible keg party
Spice for afterlife

Julie said...

When I was alive,
I was an asshole, and now,
I'm the evil dead.

Julie said...

I got fucked up hair
Cause I got thrown in a well.
Now you gonna die.

DCD said...

Mmmm, that snack was good.
I'm where now? Amity?
Think I'll stick around.

DCD said...

Where's the damn sugar!?
Our giant queen is cranky,
outta my way, kid!

Julie said...

All work and no play
Makes Johnny a dull boy--schwak!
All work and no play....

Julie said...

Came outta Mommy,
Then pushed her off the landing.
Next stop: the White House.

HandsomeStan said...

Eating wooden boy
Making Kid Stan shit his pants
My name is Monstro

HandsomeStan said...

"I shall not pass," huh?
Whip your ankle, wizard-bitch
Balrog don't play dat

DCD said...

Might be a small guy,
But my knife and teeth are sharp!
Your ankles are mine!!

Mr. AC said...

Haunt Cuisine
Fresh, hot, delicious
Consistency of custard
The sweet taste of brains

Musings of a Zombie
Shuffle, shuffle, step
Groan, falter, shuffle
Turn head, bite, swallow

It’s Not Easy Being Grrrreen
Entrails drag behind
Rotted flesh hangs from my bones
Wish I had stayed dead

Misunderstood Monster
Hey, don’t run away
Really, it’s just glandular
The name’s Frank, not Blob

Catfreeek said...

Oh boy it's summer!
more kids for me to slaughter
while they do the deed

Catfreeek said...

Hat, cape, unibrow
Coffin Joe with nails so long
won't you scratch my back

Catfreeek said...

Our queues all stocked up
Netflix must love Horrorthon
October sales spike

Catfreeek said...

Cherry blossoms fall
a lone figure shuffles past
he can smell your brain

Catfreeek said...

Jason's birth control
kills them before they finish
went before they came

Johnny Sweatpants said...

(Back to Handsome Stan)

Dissed from ghost party
Self esteem not faring well
At least I'm alive

(Ode to JPX)

Please don't poop at work
I don't care if you're a ghost
The smell upsets me

Johnny Sweatpants said...

I get it - you died
Sucks, but it's not my concern
Bother someone else

Johnny Sweatpants said...

Don't argue with ghosts
They cannot be reasoned with
Stubborn dead bastards


Johnny Sweatpants said...

So it's come to this
The ghost clearly wants me dead
Everybody dies


Octopunk said...

Zombies: Hope you choke!
Ghost version: If you off me
Fuck your dead ass up

Octopunk said...

It's a dead guy fight
Over by the dead bike racks
He stole his dead lunch

Johnny Sweatpants said...

The silver lining -
Once dead you become a ghost
Your turn to annoy

50PageMcGee said...

British soldier-boys
Feistier than the others
Still, werewolf supper

50PageMcGee said...

Crawl out of the Earth
Time to indulge TRONKA-STYLE
I'ma chuck that car.

50PageMcGee said...

I may be a tard
But twice as big, with chainsaw
Make your face my mask

50PageMcGee said...

Alternate timeline:
Make crude clay figs, then eat them
At Martha Stewart's house

50PageMcGee said...

Got a sharp knife, but
I'm hilariously small
ZUNI WARRIOR

HandsomeStan said...

I wait and bombard
50Page Haiku Monster
All your words - worthless

(Cat, I LOVE the callback to "Cherry blossoms fall." In that vein...)

Cherry blossoms fall
Jugular veins ripped open
Your mom now kills you