Halloween

(1978) *****

I’m not going to review Halloween again. Yep, that’s right, I’ve reviewed it before and so have other thonners, I mean, what’s really left to say about it? It’s my favorite horror film of all time and it scared the shit out of me when I first caught it on television at age 11. So instead I’m going to answer the question, “How should you watch the Halloween film series?" With 8 films to choose from (so far) there are a variety of ways to get to know Mike.

HOW TO WATCH THE HALLOWEEN FILM SERIES BY JPX


1. Watch the original Halloween and no others. As a stand-alone film that was never intended to have a sequel, Halloween is bar-none the scariest film I’ve ever seen. The reason it works is because of its simple premise; the boogeyman is going to get you and he can’t be stopped. Michael Myers’ blank mask is the perfect symbol of terror. Every kid fears the boogeyman at some point in childhood and Carpenter captures the purity of this base fear. Additionally, the ending of Halloween leaves one with goose bumps the size of the zits on a nerd; Michael is still out there and he’s going to get you. I can’t imagine what it was like to see this film in the theater when it was first released.


2. Watch Halloween and Halloween II. Despite my assertion that the only way to watch the Halloween series is to only watch the original, I do concede that Halloween II is an acceptable sequel. Although Carpenter isn’t directing this time, he still wrote the sequel and it feels like a natural extension of the original. Carpenter’s creepy music, albeit tweaked a bit, is still driving the film. Halloween II has an “ending”, which makes the first 2 Halloween films a complete story. Also, this is the last time that Michael’s mask looks good.


3. Watch Halloween III: Season of the Witch and no others. Having nothing to do with Michael Myers, Halloween III attempted to reboot the Halloween franchise as an anthology series with self-contained stories. As a stand-alone story I’ve always enjoyed this silly film, which harkens back to the mad-scientist films of the 30s and 40s. It should have been simply titled “Season of the Witch”, which would have avoided pissing off millions of Michael Myers fans.


4. Watch Halloween, Halloween II, and Halloween 4: The Return of Michael Myers. Not nearly up to snuff with the original 2 Halloween films, Halloween 4 nevertheless gets the Halloween series back on track with, well, with the return of Michael Myers.
Loomis is back, scarred from his last battle with Michael in Halloween II. The music now sucks and rather than chasing his sister, Michael is now in hot pursuit of Laurie’s daughter, “Jamie” (get the homage there?). Despite my hatred of little kids in movies, Jamie is bearable and Halloween 4 is pretty fun.


5. Watch Halloween, Halloween II, and Halloween 4: The Return of Michael Myers, and Halloween 5: The Revenge of Michael Myers. Well the mask looks pretty damn sucky at this point, and the film is a just-okay sequel, but still, it flows nicely from Halloween 4. Michael is still chasing Jamie, Loomis is still chasing Michael, and we’re introduced to the mysterious man in black. I’m not a big fan of Halloween 5.


6. Watch Halloween, Halloween II, and Halloween 4: The Return of Michael Myers, Halloween 5: The Revenge of Michael Myers, and Halloween 6: The Curse of Michael Myers (theatrical edition). One of the worst films in the franchise, Halloween 6 is difficult to describe. Jamie has been missing for 6 years, having been kidnapped by a group of satanic druids who care for and protect Michael. After escaping her captors Jamie heads back to Haddonfield in order to obtain Loomis’ help (Loomis doesn’t live in Haddonfield, so this doesn’t make much sense, how presumptuous). Jamie’s adopted family lives in the Myers house (wouldn’t you move given everything that's happened?). Michael begins chopping up the family. We learn that those evil druids control Michael and make him kill his family, which is necessary for some reason that I’m forgetting. It’s up to Tommy Doyle, from the original Halloween, to save the day.



7. Watch Halloween, Halloween II, and Halloween 4: The Return of Michael Myers, Halloween 5: The Revenge of Michael Myers, and Halloween 6: The Curse of Michael Myers (Producer’s edition). Believe it or not, there exists a completely different cut of Halloween 6, which is far superior to what was released in the theaters. This version has never been officially released, but being an intrepid investigator (nerd) I was able to score a copy at a collectibles show years ago. According to my bootleg box, “After the original completion of Halloween 6, the producer was replaced and over half of the film was reshot, including a new ending. This is the never before seen original version of Halloween 6." Okay, I’m going to be a bit lazy here and refer you to this summary I found about Halloween 6 (Producer’s cut).

“While the theatrical version has more gore, and longer suspense scenes, it cuts large amounts of character and plot development that were present in the producer's cut. The worst examples of these cuts involve Loomis and Doyle. Most of Loomis' scenes are truncated, and we are given little exposition about his relationship with Dr. Wynn. In the producer's cut we are given additional background, and there is a plot point involving Wynn's retirement and his desire to see Loomis replace him as the head of Smith's Grove Sanitarium. Because the film's biggest surprise (in either version) has to do with Wynn, it makes no sense to cut this material. Important info about Tommy Doyle is lost in the theatrical cut as well. In the producer's cut Doyle has figured out the significance of the Thorn rune, and he has a plan to use positive runes against the evil influence it represents. So long as you can keep your suspension of disbelief intact, these elements combine to form a somewhat logical plot.”

For those interested in more about the history of the Producer’s cut go here (where the above quote was taken from): http://www.stomptokyo.com/movies/h/halloween6-pcr.html.


8. Watch Halloween, Halloween II, and Halloween: H20. To capitalize on the 20th anniversary of the original Halloween, Jamie Lee Curtis agreed to reprise the role that made her famous in order to complete her character’s story arc. Suffering from Posttraumatic stress disorder (wouldn’t you?), Laurie, who has changed her identity, now runs a prep school where her eager-to-be-free-from-mom’s-overprotective-behavior son attends. Meanwhile, Michael discovers some papers that identify Laurie and her whereabouts (how fortuitous). Once again Laurie finds herself fighting for her life as she battles the Shape one last time (until Halloween 7). Despite being way too short, Halloween: H20 is a terrific send-up of the Halloween series with a satisfying ending. How many other film franchises put out a superior sequel 7 films in? James Bond?


9. Watch Halloween, Halloween II, Halloween: H20, and Halloween: Resurrection. Halloween: Resurrection is an awful film notable only for the completely unnecessary death of Laurie, which immediately rendered her 20+ year struggle and survival pointless. If you must watch this film just watch the first 15 minutes, which completes the Laurie storyline. For a good review as to why this film sucks more than a toothless hooker I refer you to I’mnotmarc’s excellent review here (Octo).

So there you have it, folks, I hope this guide was helpful. Rob Zombie is remaking the original Halloween for a 2007 release date. It will be interesting to see how his version stacks up against the rest of the franchise. Cheers.