Wednesday, September 20, 2006

Spielberg Directing Another Jurassic Park? Come on.


From Iwatchstuff, "Add another line to the Steven Spielberg rumor board. Sky News is reporting that the director may take the helm of Jurassic Park IV if Joe Johnston, who directed JP3, doesn't take the project. Man, Stevesy, isn't your plate full enough? Especially when you're just sitting there poking at everything. You've got Indiana Jones IV, Interstellar (the wormhole movie), a Lincoln bio, and now another Jurassic Park? If you're going to get these done, it's time to consolidate. That's right: Indiana Jones vs. Lincoln vs. dinosaurs vs. wormholes"

1 comment:

Octopunk said...

What's annoying is that I was thinking of the same joke before I finished the paragraph. Except -- duh! Indy and Lincoln will team up, but only after they have that "initial misunderstanding" fight in which they first gain respect for each other's powers.

I can just see it: Abe Lincoln, eight feet tall, dressed as he usually was except for the sleeves ripped off, biceps bulging with the weight of the twin M60's he's training on the dinosaur hordes in the distance. Behind him is a swirling wormhole, beneath his feet is a pile of dead raptors.

Indy skirts the edge of the pile, taking out raptors with his whip and burning their paws with his superheated medallion. One raptor slinks through the hail of bullets and pulls up to striking distance, closes its eyes for a moment to reveal the words "love you" written on its lids, then looks at him questioningly. Indy closes his eyes too, then raises his multibarrelled Covenant Gun and fires off a barrage of avenging angels to melt the raptor's face off.

It writes itself!

Malevolent

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