JJ Abrams' 'Star Trek' Now Tyler Perry's 'Star Trek'

From iwatchstuff, After providing their fictional future universe with a black, blind dweeb, a gruff black guy with bumps on his head and sash, a black commander and IBM endorser, and a black Spock, the owners of the Star Trek franchise are clearly running out of ways to push the series into the "urban markets" they've heard so much about. Do black nerds exist, they ask. If so, where are they? How do we get them? For god's sake, was the guy from Roots not enough?

Possibly inspired by George Lucas bringing the misplaced badass-ness of Samuel L. Jackson into Star Wars, they have one final, desperate idea. There is one last, gospel-inspired ace up their sleeve, and his name isTyler Perry.

Yes, the man who brought you Tyler Perry's Hey, I'm Dressed Like an Old Fat Lady, Tyler Perry's Hey, I'm Still Dressed Like an Old Fat Lady, and Tyler Perry's Tyler Perry and Friends Go Through Marital Strife with Janet Jackson is reportedly joining J.J. Abrams' Star Trek prequel as the head of Starfleet Academy.

I have to hand it to you, fellas. Nothing says "urban market" (and a high probability for morbidly obese cross-dressing) like Tyler Perry, except maybe Eddie Murphy or Martin Lawrence. This will surely be your entrance to the world of hip-hop music and cryptic slang that you've tried so long to grasp.

And while we're on the topic, can we drop the whole "urban" thing right now? We all know what you're talking about. Cloaking the subject of African-American audiences behind a broad regional term does not equate to racial tolerance. Its sentiment is far closer to "I'm afraid of black people, so maybe if I never address them openly they won't rob me. But how about that Kanye West, eh?"