Friday, May 20, 2011

Does Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides suck?


From worstpreviews the film is shorter—at 128 minutes, it is a full forty-one less than "At World's End"—but the plot is just as much of a hodge-podge, most of the characters are lifeless and one-note, and the action set-pieces verge on the incomprehensible due to poor camerawork, dumpy choreography, and over-caffeinated editing. So inconsequential that it begins to erase from one's memory the second each image passes by, the film is yet another poster-child example for summer movie spectacle gone bad. There is nothing to care about, nothing to think about, nothing to get excited about, and nothing to walk away with. Were it not for having wasted a $200-million budget, the case could be made that it might as well not even exist at all.

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From ew [excerpt], Watching this lead balloon of a tall tale, in which you can see around every corner, I actually began to wish that, say, Russell Brand had been handed the role of Jack Sparrow, or had at least played his even less sane brother. Jack, more than ever, is now front and center, the focal point of every scene, and the result is that he's become less of a jester and more of a colorless expository hero. He ticks off the story for us, point by point, instead of standing to the side lobbing little verbal bombs at it. Depp's delivery is still amusingly sozzled, but the performance has lost any trace of surprise or merry deranged zing. The more Jack says, the less funny he is.

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From usatoday [excerpt], Familiar and predictable, this Pirates reboot is often incoherent and crammed with pointless details. The more sequels spun off, the clearer it becomes that one movie about these swashbucklers would have sufficed.

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From thenewyorktimes, On Stranger Tides” is protected from the consequences of its own mediocrity by the mere fact that it is opening in thousands of theaters on Friday. People will go, and more energy will be expended parsing the box-office returns than discussing the merits of the film, which is likely to be judged entertaining enough and therefore, in the end, not much fun at all.

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5 comments:

DKC said...

Bummer.

Jordan said...

What does anyone expect when you fucking hire Rob Marshall to direct?

"We've lost the Ring director...what do you say we keep going with the Chicago/Memoirs of a Geisha director?"
"Great idea!"

The Mr. said...

Guess I can let Grandpa take Jake to it :(

Anonymous said...

=( The problem is the new directer. Johnny is just doing what he is told. THAT DIRECTER SUCKS!!!!!!! though, a part i found amusing is when it seemed like captian jack was making out with another one of him. =) but overall it sucked.

Anonymous said...

I'm about halfway through this version on DVD that I was so looking forward to and am wickedly disappointed. As a rough guess I'd say that 75% is so underexposed or processed as to make it unwatchable and I have no idea of what is going on if most of the scenes (like when Jack and Penelope (can't even remember her characters name) are in the room on the ship with the ships in bottles I think Jack steals one but it's so dark that I won't know until the movie's over). That and the fact that somehow I've seen an interview of Jerry Bruckheimer sounding like he's bragging that the film is much shorter than the others really makes me think that they didn't give a fluff about making a good film and they just wanted to pump out another one.

Malevolent

 2018  ***1/2 It's 1986 for some reason, and a team of paranormal investigators are making a big name for themselves all over Scotland. ...