That's right it's OCTOBER tomorrow and TOMORROW starts TONIGHT because none of us are KIDS and we can STAY UP. WHAT am I SAYING?
I'm saying HORRORTHON! That's what I'm saying. Now gather your garlic and wolfsbane and popcorn and imdb pages and google searches! Steaming YouTube dvd stack or crappy VHS copy you found in a dark buried box. DON'T LOOK AT IT. Except yes, TOTALLY LOOK AT IT.
Because maybe it's this good!
Let's be archaeologists of pop culture nightmare! Let's discover new and terrible snacks! Let's give some forgotten horrible actors a few more moments to shine! And also to
SCREEEEEEEAAAAAAM!!! SCREAM SCREAM SCREAM!!!
I wasn't talking about you, Ron, you were just great.
There will be moments of badness you will just have to share. Rubber costumes, red paint, weird synth music, horrible hallmarks of many decades, and maybe, just maybe... some chills.
CHILLLLSSSSS. That make you SCREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAM!!!
Shirtless guys in bed SCREAM!
Compound bug-eye action SCREAM!
Creepy little girl's creepy giant head screaming and what the fuck is that anyway thanks Octo I won't be un-seeing that for a while SCREAM!
I've got five flicks arriving in the mail TODAY and I might check the fabulous VHS rental store Eddie Brandt's Saturday Matinee for something weird. Take five, Real Life! It's Horrorthon and I got some movies to watch.
You can't have Horrorthon without HORROR and you can't have Horror without SCREAMS and so now every one of you owes me a goddamn loud Horrorthon SCA-REEEEAAAAM!!!
SCREAM LIKE YOU MEAN IT!!! BECAUSE YOU GODDAMN DOOOO!!!
IT'S ALL ABOUT THE SCREEEEEEEAAAAMMS!!!
And also boobs.
RIGHT. SURE. Best we not forget about that. *A-hem!*
But don't forget to SCREEEEEE---. Wait, hang on a second. Gotta find something for the ladies, too. Let's see here....
There ya go.
Welcome to Horrorthon 2013, my friends. It's scream time.