Wednesday, September 25, 2013

Horrorthon Countdown Contest Day... uh, Six! Review Bomb!


HORRORTHOOOOOOOOOOOOON!!!

Begging your pardon, my ghastly cronies, for getting my annual pep rally started late.  I've been suffering from Free Lancer's Delimma, that being that I've been loaded with work but I have no time.  That's almost literally true, as I haven't had a day off since Monday the 9th.  Tomorrow will be my 17th straight day of work, which I think is a personal record.  I should get a break after that.

But whatever, because HORRORTHOOOOON!  It is time once again to celebrate our pals the Dark Demons of the Human Experience, to clasp their bloody, decaying claws as we enter the theater and hunker down in the best red velvety seat we find, down there in the dark.

Shake the dust off your rest-of-the-year eyes and work the kinks from your typing fingers, you'll need them strong and supple for when we grab pop culture by the throat and shake it!... then afterwards see what came loose.

It's time to watch some goddamn horror movies.

Our excercise today is meant as a simple bit of kindling.  Did you see any movies over the summer?  Catching up on any TV shows?  Screen an old favorite?  Well let's shout about it!  Short and sweet, review bomb style.  My first thought was to ask for posts, but let's do it in comments instead.  Just follow my lead.

Also, what's been up with you cats?  Chime in!  The best month of the year is coming...

11 comments:

Octopunk said...

Review bomb! Here's what I've seen of the summer movie crop this year:

IRON MAN 3: Heard a lot of bitching about this so by the time I saw it my expectations were low enough to enjoy it. Saw it on an airplane, too, which wasn't as good.

WORLD WAR Z: Really loved this one, and actually I hope it's screenable for October because it would be fun to write about. Read the book shortly after and liked that too.

STAR TREK: INTO DARKNESS: Probably my fave of the summer. Pretty banging all around.

THE WOLVERINE: Decent and better than the first solo Wolvie movie.

BLUE JASMINE: Amazing Cate Blanchett performance (natch) but the supporting characters seem like a gang of cartoons. Sitcom blue-collar New Yawkers inexplicably transplanted to San Francisco. Yes, Woody Allen is out of touch.

I know there's been others...

Octopunk said...

I also just started catching up on the action/sci-fi flicks from last summer that I missed.

TOTAL RECALL: Instead of Mars, they go to Australia. Fail.

A GOOD DAY TO DIE HARD (The Russia one): Some engaging action but it's like watching a caricature of John McClane.

Octopunk said...

I've also been watching Star Trek: Enterprise because I've always been interested in the Earth/Vulcan prehistory stuff. While some of that is interesting, mostly it's been a thankless slog.

DKC said...

Yay, Octo! Impressive list. And it really makes me realize how pathetic my movie watching has been...

Netflix streaming has provided us with some low level kids movies that we hit up on our scattered movie nights.

YOURS, MINE AND OURS: remake of 1968 comedy about two single parents that each have a ton of kids. They get married on a whim and have to make the brood into a "family". The kids enjoyed it and since Dennis Quaid and Renee Russo are both easy on the eyes, I'd give it a 3 star.

RAINBOW TRIBE: Looked like it was going to be a "Meatballs" kind of thing: after experiencing a personal crisis a guy goes back to his old summer camp to counsel a group of "offbeat kids". Except his personal crisis is that he is DYING OF CANCER! It was awful.

HONE, WE SHRUNK OURSELVES: Because of course they can't have the clearly superior "Honey, I Shrunk the Kids" on streaming. Wasn't bad though, I mean - it is Rick Moranis after all. Plus, really young Mila Kunis!

DKC said...

For the adults that like to zone out to cartoons every once in awhile I strongly, highly recommend the excellent "Phineas and Ferb".

Funny, well done shit. I think I enjoy it as much, if not slightly more, then the kids!

AC said...

hmm, hard to remember!

also saw "into darkness" and "wwz" and remember liking both.

saw some good animated features (for the first time): "mulan" and "how to tame your dragon."

LOVED "this is the end," wanted to love "the world's end" but couldn't, it was too uneven.

skipped "kick ass 2" because of the reviews, but will rethink based on jpx's opinion.

tv-wise, caught up on "parks and recreation," now in season 2 of "breaking bad," and revisiting episodes of SNL from last decade.

JPX said...

Review bomb!

IRON MAN 3: Hated it! I have many nitpicks but what they did to the Mandarin still pisses me off. Also, Tony's equipment is getting to be too over the top even for a comic book movie.

This is the End: Bar-none the funniest movie I have seen in years! Seth Rogen, James Franco, Jonah Hill, Danny McBride and others bring their hilarious A-game!

Grown-ups 2: One of the worst movies I have ever seen. I was charmed by the first one but it is clear that they made this one up as they went along.

Star Trek Into Darkness: I LOVED this movie and it was my favorite of the summer - non-stop action.

Man of Steel: I thought this was terrific and I'm not sure why people have been giving it a bad rap. There were epic action sequences, I loved the Krypton stuff and I thought the cast was great!

Kick Ass 2: I loved it every bit as much as the first one. Not enough Jim Carey (who steals ever scene he is in) and not enough of Hit Girl in costume, but still it delivered!

The Conjuring: This is by the same director who directed Insidious and like that film The Conjuring falls apart in the third act. Two-thirds of the movie plagiarizes Paranormal Activity and the last third borrows from every possession movie ever made. The cinematography and cast were excellent however.

I found myself bored while watching it. Bleech. This is one director I will not be following.

Octo, what about Pacific Rim?

Octopunk said...

I forgot Pacific Rim and Man of Steel!

MOS dragged in origin-y ways (more the growing up with the Kents stuff than the Krypton stuff) but the sheer scope of building smashing really made up for it.

PR mostly came through on its action promises, but the character-driven connective tissue was extreeeeemly boilerplate and forgettable.

Johnny Sweatpants said...

There's probably going to be some tension this October because I did not like World War Z. One essential component for zombie movies (for me at least) is disgusting, vomit-inducing gore. I reject PG-13 CGI climbing-up-walls zombies and everything they stand for! I liked Star Trek but was decidedly unimpressed with Wolverine. I'll catch the other super hero flicks post Horrorthon.

As for music I'm quite taken with Savages' debut record and look forward to seeing them this Friday. Also coming up is Primal Sceram on my birthday and Flaming Lips/Tame Impala on Halloween. I haven't bought tickets to Goblin yet but I feel like I'll regret it if I miss them as it's the first time they've ever toured the US. You may remember them from such soundtracks as Dawn of the Dead and Suspiria.

For television shows I loved season 3 of The Walking Dead and I'm also on a *polite cough* Murder She Wrote kick.

Crystal Math said...

Good lordy I can't believe it's almost October! This past year has seen a TON of changes, but most recently I started working in a new-to-me public school teaching 8th grade General Math and Algebra 1.

The word problems spewing out from Crystal Math's class this month will be exciting and in the Horrorthon vein (not the artery but the vein).

Star Trek: Into Darkness -- Excellent, and brought back all the childhood wonder and excitement of watching the oldies with Cap'n Kirk and Spock.

World War Z -- I must say that I didn't have high expectations as I thought the book was zombie gold. My sister had actually read it for a class at University of New Mexico, "History of the Apocalypse" or some similar class. The movie wasn't memorable, and I'd have a lot more fun writing an in-depth review of the book than the movie. Except for the time when Brad Pitt's kid whined, "Daddy, I'm scared!" when they're being stalked by zombies and I retorted with "Shaddup, kid!" This was in a crowded theater, and my friends couldn't stop giggling.

The Wolverine -- Captivating plot, poor execution. I am in love with X-Men lore but the movie franchise has yet to move me as much as the first film did.

The Snake Pit (1948) -- I believe this was JSP's recommendation, or JPX's? It was refreshing to see a woman-centric film about the sensitive issue of mental health and institutions that utilize shock therapy. Until I saw this I only thought that One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest would have such influence of how we treat those who are committed.

Catfreeek said...

Star Trek was great This is the End was hilarious, The Worlds End was pretty funny if you enjoy dry British humor and it was a bit disjointed. Did not really care so much for World War Z. Liked the Conjuring for the most part. TV, watching the last season of Breaking Bad & Dexter. Trying out Sleepy Hollow and can't wait for the next American Horror Story to start.

Malevolent

 2018  ***1/2 It's 1986 for some reason, and a team of paranormal investigators are making a big name for themselves all over Scotland. ...