From cracked, "Video gamers have consistently demanded one thing from their hobby: entertainment. Beyond that, we don’t much care what inane task we're asked to complete. Give us a crystal banana, call it a power-up, and we’ll gladly leap over a robot octopus to grab it, even if it means risking a slice of our life pie.In many cases, it’s plausible to assume the designers threw darts at a board covered in nouns and verbs, smoked crack until they forgot what nouns and verbs they picked, then made Warioware. Here are 12 more insane video game premises that prove you don’t have to be Tolstoy, or even coherent, to design a hit game.
The Premise: An Italian plumber travels through a brightly-colored fantasy world collecting coins and mushrooms. He crushes turtles and goombas (essentially brown, waddling monstrosities) to death in order to rescue a princess from being raped by a dinosaur who pilots an airship.
What Made It Ridiculous: It was enough that mushrooms made you big and flowers made you shoot fireballs from your hands. By the time they added in a raccoon suit, a mechanical boot, and a dinosaur mount, it was pretty much anything goes. At that point, a mug power-up that gives you a rake that turns you invisible would have fit in fairly easily.
Why We Didn't Care: We were too busy cursing at the screen each time we found out the Princess was in a different goddamned castle.
Go here for 11 more! http://www.cracked.com/index.php?name=News&sid=2022&pageid=1
1 comment:
I don’t know, I think this one’s kind of an easy shot. This article actually does almost write itself. To call any video game’s premise ridiculous is to call them all ridiculous. Does Space Invaders or Contra gain some sort of legitimacy because dammit, we’ve got to get rid of those nasty aliens? Really, how can you make fun of Tetris when video game goals themselves are basically abstract exercises?
On a totally different note, where’s the Pac family? Or Crazy Climber? Or Slot Racers? This thing reads like a who’s who of what The Man wants you to buy.
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