Octopunk's Pac Lacks Zap! Johnny Sweatpants Back on Track!

(Concord, CA)  The world collectively breathed a sigh of relief today as sources confirmed that Johnny Sweatpants reclaimed the prestigious High Score in Super Pac Man.  Sweatpants is reported to be "extremely pleased" with this accomplishment though "not the least bit surprised." 
 
Pictured below: Johnny Sweatpants is quite satisfied with himself after trouncing Octopunk's high score by 3 boards and 18,400 points. 


 
Before we start dissecting the tragic flaws in Octopunk's failed strategy, a brief explanation of the game is required for those who aren't familiar with this arcade classic.  So by all means, pull up a chair, listen and learn! 

AN UNSPEC-PAC-ULAR LEGACY: 

Super Pac Man was the third Pac Man game to hit the arcades back in 1982.  It was not nearly as popular as the legendary Ms. Pac Man and the reason for this is obvious.  The laws that were established in its two predecessors were shamelessly disregarded, causing many Pac purists to cry "foul".  However, recent re-releases of the game on home consoles taught us that Super Pac Man can still be highly enjoyable and life affirming in its own special way.


 
The Pac moves in the same way as before and the ghosts can be disposed of with the usual power pellet.  This is where the similarities end and the blasphemy begins.  Pac Man no longer eats dots; his new diet consists of keys that open doors and the fruit behind said doors.  This fruit that was once highly prized has been reduced to lowly-dot-of-yore status. Sad, really.
 
The true excitement of Super Pac comes in the form of glowing green Super Pellets which, when consumed, make Pac Man super-friggin-enormous.  In this state, he moves twice as fast and can cruise through ghosts.  However, he still can't eat the ghosts prior to eating a power pellet.  Thus, the strategy of eating the Super Pellet followed by a Power Pellet is the most effective method of ghost-hunting.  One other brilliant innovation is the fact that Pac Man can now enter the ghosts' home base and eat them while they're in their home.  Just typing this is making me drool and smile maliciously.
 


Finally, there are the bonus stages.  In many arcade games (like Galaga), the bonus stages offer peace of mind and a brief reprieve from the constant struggle for survival.  In Super Pac Man, the bonus stages go even further by offering an embarrassment of riches in points. Octopunk very soberly pointed this out when he upended Sweatpants' previous high score several months ago.  The grave mistake Johnny made was risking life going after the ghosts when there were way more points to be earned by performing soundly in the bonus rounds.    

OCTOPUNK'S INEVITABLE FALL FROM GRACE:

Since reclaiming the highly coveted High Score, Johnny Sweatpants has received dozens of phone calls saying "You're totally amazing Sweatpants, honestly, but I gotta know - how'd ya do it?"  The answer is simpler than you think.  "You see" he began with a disarming smile, "it takes a courageous player to admit that his overall strategy is not the most effective.  After much soul searching I decided to adopt Octopunk's philosophy of focusing on the bonuses and getting through the regular boards as quickly and efficiently as possible.  But because Octo is not a classically trained Pac-Master like myself, he eventually had to learn the important life lesson that bonus points can only carry one so far." 
 
Johnnys Sweatpants is of course, referring to the diminshed power the pellets yield in later stages, causing skill to once again become the deciding factor.  When the chips are down and all you can rely on is the Pac Man fundamentals, Octopunk's method was quickly exposed as a hollow, get-rich-quick scheme.

Pictured below: Octopunk's biggest mistake may have been not appreciating just how seriously Sweatpants takes his high scores.

 

So I think I speak for all of us here at Horrorthon when I say "Here's to you, Johnny Sweatpants! It's good to have you back Champ!"