The women celebrate being women, boo boys!
The title of this film/book series always reminds me of the first time I ever experienced fear. When I was around 4 or 5 years old living in Halifax, Nova Scotia, my parents read me a lot of stories. This was before the great JSP existed. Anyway, one book my father liked to read to me was this,
Unfortunately what he didn't realize was that is contained the scariest story ever written. The story, "What was I Scared Of?" should have been called, "What scared the hell out of JPX". In this terrifying tale a Sneetch is wandering around in the woods late one night when he sees an animated pair of green pants. It goes something like this,
"then i was deep within the woods
when suddenly i spied them.
i saw a pair of pale green pants
with nobody inside them.
i wasn't scared but yet i stopped.
what could those pants be there for
what could a pair of pants at night
be standing in there for?
The image that terrified a young JPX (and the adult JPX a little bit)
Upon "seeing" the Sneetch, the freakish pants take off into the dark forest,
and then they moved those empty pants!
they kind of started jumping.
and then my heart i must admidt
i kind of started thumping.
so i got out i got out
as fast as i could go sir
i was not scared but pants like that
i do no care for no sir."
Okay sure, the story is about not judging a book by its cover, and it's true that the Sneetch and the pants become pals once the Sneetch realizes that the pants are just as afraid of him,
JPX still wouldn't trust the pants.
but the damage was done. To this day, from time to time, I think about those damn green pants. I don't care how you spin it, if you find yourself walking in the woods alone and you stumble across a pair of animated green pants, run like hell.
7 comments:
*Sigh.* At the moment, I am bidding a fond farewell to all my pants for the next six months or so. They no longer button around the growing lump that is Little Z. I hope my pants have some fun adventures without me. I just bought maternity pants, which really don't seem very animated or fun, although I suppose they are currently housing a lot of movement.
LOL JPX, and Julie!
Been there girl. Even though maternity clothes have come A LONG WAY, they still aren't that fun.
I always liked the part of the story where the narrator explains, "I had to run an errand," in order to make clear why he's spending time in that eerie, gloomy Dr. Seuss area on the edge of town. An "errand"? What errand? I remember asking my parents what the hell that meant anyway.
This post cracked me up. Definitely one of the eeriest children's stories on record. Next year we should rate horror movies on how close they come to the weirdness of the empty green pants.
An actual line from the most recent episode of Avatar: "Pants are an illusion, and so is death."
The nitpick in me must point out that that being isn't a Sneetch, but one of Seuss's more generic critters. Sneetches were Seuss's famous racists.
God, this stuff is brilliant! I hadn't seen real Dr. Suss drawings in a while (just Grinch movie posters etc.) His technique is incredible.
Jake is getting a Dr. Seuss book for Christmas that has five classics in it. The Grinch, Sneetches, the one w/Bartholomew's hats...All the original artwork.
I'm totally psyched!
Don't show him the pants story or he'll be in therapy some day!
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