5) Christian Archie
From toplessrobot, I imagine some poor kid in the 1970s, growing up in a fundamentalist Christian household where comic books are forbidden. Suddenly, one day, he gets Archie comics at church, and he's so excited to get to indulge in this tantalizing medium that's been kept from him. But it's not long before this kid figures out that these aren't the regular adventures of Archie and his pals; nope, it's the Spire Christian Comics version, where regular Archie artist Al Hartley licensed the characters from Riverdale High for 19 of the most blandly moralizing comic books you've ever read. In "Archie's Clean Slate," a hike through the woods inspires Dilton to note, "Wood serves man from the beginning to the end!" Big Ethel adds, "Man's cradle and coffin are both made of wood!" leading Betty to conclude, "That's another example of how God provides for us!" Fun crowd.
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