Superman
Gil Thorp
For Better For Worse
The Cisco Kid
Dennis the Menace
Wednesday, July 13, 2011
Caption Contest!
Okay Horrorthonners, the strips are especially challenging this week, which is the best way to get comic gold out of you. Take a look at these strips, incubate some ideas and make me laugh. I'm hoping to get some of the 'quieter' 'thonners to participate. I will post the results this Sunday.
Superman
Gil Thorp
For Better For Worse
The Cisco Kid
Dennis the Menace
Superman
Gil Thorp
For Better For Worse
The Cisco Kid
Dennis the Menace
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Malevolent
2018 ***1/2 It's 1986 for some reason, and a team of paranormal investigators are making a big name for themselves all over Scotland. ...
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I’m sure none of you except for JPX knows that I’m a bit of a germ-a-phobic. It’s annoying, but manageable. Though, since I met JPX and list...
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The Cisco Kid
Panel 1
"Jim-Bob, hustle your sweet ass on up here, we got Injun trouble."
"Hang on! My hem'roids are actin' up ag'in."
Panel 2
"hmmm mmmm"
"Uhh huuuhh"
Panel 3
"What you say we head on back to the tent for a spell, wait this out?"
"I wish I knew how to quit you."
Dennis the Menace
"Mr. Wilson dropped the soap, he told be to feel around for it but all I found was a stubby snake."
For Better or Worse
Panel 1
"Waaaaaater......p..p..please. I'm p..p..parched."
Panel 2
"D..d..dying...here. Need w..w..water noooow."
Panel 3
"You know you could have cut all the drama crap and just asked."
Panel 4
"Oh my God! Is this urine?"
Gil Thorp
Panel 1
Gil: “What do you mean that I take everything 'literally'?
Friend: “Look, Gil, I’m not getting into it with you. I know that if I try to explain myself your head is going to explode”
Panel 2
Gil: “Sometimes you make me so angry that…”
Panel 3
KABOOM!
Superman
Panel 1
"Where do you think your going stud?"
"Gulp...uh...um..."
Panel 2
"I have a cat to rescue!"
"Cat schmat, I have all the pussy you need right here."
Panel 3
"Whew, made it! Now to weld the keyhole shut so she can't follow me."
Panel 4
Narrator: After narrowly escaping the clutches of his randy army date. Superman reflects on the disastrous results of the "win a date with Superman" USO tour.
"It was supposed to be just dinner and dancing. Took me 2 weeks to get rid of the crabs. Two weeks! Now the dame is hunting me like lioness. Who does she think she's dealing with? I'm Superman for cryin' out loud!"
"I watched Mr. Wilson scrub his balls but they still smell like pickled onions!"
Gil Thorp
Panel 1
"Grrrrrr, I really hate you Melvin! You and your smug indignation, always grumbling like your your better than everyone!"
"I'm just simply stating the facts. You do it every game, it never brings us luck and you look ridiculous."
Panel 2
"Yeah well, sez you! I like it and you can't change my mind! Come hell or high water I'm wearing this Carrot Top wig!"
Panel 3
KABOOM!
Dennis the Menace
"That silly Mr. Wilson keeps losing his soap and I keep helping him find it"
For Better For Worse
Panel 1
“Antidote, give me the antidote, I beg you!”
Panel 2
“My throat is closing, hurry!”
Panel 3
“Just as long as we understand each other; here you go, you big baby”
Panel 4
“Whew; fine, your mother can move in with us. I will never disagree with you again.”
Superman
Panel 1
Lois: “For Pete’s sake, Clark, I know it’s you!”
Superman: “Uh, I don’t know what you mean, Ms. Lane, who is this ‘Clark’?
Panel 2
Superman: “Uh, someone is in trouble, I must go save them”
Lois: “HAHA, seriously, Clark, do you really believe that a pair of glasses disguises your identity? Everyone knows that you’re Clark Kent!”
Panel 3
“I need time to think and I don’t need Lois peeping in here so I’ll just seal up the keyhole.”
Panel 4
Superman: “Okay, so the glasses aren’t working; hmmm, I guess it’s time to pick up a fake moustache”
The Cisco Kid
Panel 1
“Dang it, I think they heard us, I’m getting’ out of here!”
“Come back, Dale, they don’t know that we’re here!”
Panel 2
(silence)
Panel 3
“Killin’ injuns is fun, ain’t it?”
“Haha, it sure is, Dale, it sure is”
Gil Thorp
Panel 1
“You look familiar. Where have I seen you before?”
“Trust me, if you knew my true identity it would blow your mind.”
Panel 2
“There’s something about Rival High’s coach that completely terrifies me… Holy crap, it’s Evil Spock!”
Panel 3
KABOOM!
The Cisco Kid
Panel 1
“Come quick Jim-Bob! Thar be some injuns down yonder a ways!”
“What in tarnation? I gotta see me some of this!”
Panel 2
…
Panel 3
“Ya know somethin’? They may seem a little strange to us what with the feathers and the mohawks and all but the truth is this here is their land and we’re just tresspassing.”
“Yer right, Billy-Bob. I reckon one day we’ll all live real peaceful like and respect each other’s rich heritage.”
Gil Thorpe
Panel 1
Gil: Mephisto! My balls are all itchy and right before the big game!
Mephisto: Yeah, that'd be the Paraguayan scorpion powder I put in your jock. Gives you lockjaw. Have a good game!
Panel 2
Gil: Must open mouth... bark orders at team... can't... open... k-k-k OH GOD MY BALLS
Panel 3
Gil's head: KABOOM!
Dennis the Menace
"What, what's the prob -- ohhhh. You thought that was a lemonade stand out front."
Superman
Panel 1
Lois Lane: Okay, that's it Superman! Tear my clothes off now! Bend me over something! Why do you keep denying me?
Superman: Great scott!
Panel 2
Superman: You know how I like it, Lois!
Lois: God damn you! Well of course I'll do it because you just saved my life, but after that I'm getting a nice, reliable farmboy fuck from Clark Kent!
Panel 3
Superman: Thaaat's it... take off the funny hat... slowly, so slowly...
Panel 4
Narrator: Fifteen minutes and three hundred super-orgasms later...
Superman: Whew! Finally ready to bang Lois without killing her. Guess I should rescue that plane I hit first.
The Cisco Kid
Panel 1
Biscuits Pete: Holy crap that's a lot of Indians! We are getting the FUCK out of here!
Scruffy Sam: Hold up their, Biscuits! They didn't see us, they got the Cisco Kid!
Panel 2
(crickets)
Panel 3
Biscuits: Hot dawg, willya lookit that? The Kid is rattlesnake mean with them guns, but I swear he gets gang-raped about once a month.
Scruffy: You'd hit that and we both know it. Remember last New Year's?
Superman
Panel 1
"Come on, Superman. How do you know you don't like blowjobs if you've never had one?"
"Well I never!"
Panel 2
"I haven't had a sexual encounter since I debuted in 1938 and I'm not about to start now!"
"You don't know what you're missing!"
Panel 3
"There's only one way to get rid of this raging boner and that's the old fashioned way - by watching Aunt May take a shower."
Panel 4
Narration: As Aunt May rubs the soapy later across her tired and withered bosom, Superman slowly regains control.
"Well that takes care of that! My penis will never see the light of day again."
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