Tuesday, October 15, 2013

Amityville: A New Generation

(1993) *

In the 7th outing of this long-in-the-tooth franchise a photographer snaps a picture of a homeless man and feels compelled to give the man some money after doing so.  In turn the man gives Keyes a (creepy) old mirror.  He notes that the mirror has been passed down from generation to generation in his family although it is never clear why he would give it away.  Keyes brings it home and his girlfriend immediately hates it begging him to get rid of it.  Fortunately his annoying artist friend, Suki, falls in love with it and is happy to take it off his hands.  Soon however it becomes apparent that whoever gazes into the mirror long enough will be killed, including Suki.  Meanwhile Keyes begins to have a recurring nightmare that he shoots an entire family to death on Thanksgiving. Slowly Keyes figures out the connection between the mirror, the homeless man, and his own past.

 Boy do I regret tackling these Amityville films!  Aside from the title and a very brief glimpse of the famous house in the possessed mirror (to remind us that it’s a sequel) you would never know that this film had any connection to the famous original.  Although part 6 clearly explained that the house was possessed by a demonic clock (rolling eyes), part 7 says, “Screw that!” and instead we are treated to a homicidal mirror.  I am certain that I will be able to use the next sentence for all of my Amityville reviews.  The acting is flat, the story is just stupid, and there are no scares.  I never realized (a) there were so many sequels to The Amityville Horror, and (b) that the sequels generally involve a possessed inanimate object taken from the house.  Why not set every sequel in the original creepy house?  It’s like that time that Friday the 13th Part 9 attempted to have the spirit of Jason pass from person to person.  Actually, it’s not like that at all.  I just hated that movie and wanted to crow bar it in here somehow.  


AC said...

sounds like a suckfest. did you have to prop your eyelids open to finish?

Johnny Sweatpants said...

How many of these damn Amityvilles are there? That Archie gag bag title for this one would be "Amityville Horror: Mirror Murder".

Catfreeek said...

I have never heard of most of these, glad your taking them for the team.

Octopunk said...

You know I saw the second one once and that's the only contact I've had with anything Amityville. Not ashamed.

This one sounds ridiculous. I'm reminded of the execrable Howling 7. Things can get way bad by #7.