Saturday, October 05, 2013

Wrestlemaniac

(2006) **1/2




Catfreeek reviewed this 4 years ago and IMO correctly identified both the good stuff and the flaws. I expressed interest in watching it at the time but it sat at the bottom of my queue for years. A couple of days ago I finally watched it, and here we are.

As a defiantly proud (yet somehow equally ashamed) fan of pro-wrestling, I declare without hesitation that Wrestlemaniac is the best and only wrestling-horror movie that I have ever seen. From what I gathered, there are merely a select few films that fall into the wrestling-horror category. (The only promising leads my research led to are the Mexican luchador films Mil Mascaras vs. The Aztec Mummy and Santos vs. The Vampire Women.)

Wrestlemaniac tells the tale of the masked wrestler El Mascarado who, as the story goes, was pieced together by scientists from a group of talented wrestlers whom mysteriously disappeared. El Mascadaro earned superstardom because he was a total wrestling badass. However, he was subsequently banished to the town Sangre de Dios after making the faux pas of ripping his opponents' faces off. Mind you, he didn't merely unmask his opponents (which is considered a massive disgrace in luchador circles), he literally ripped their faces off.

Like every run-of-the-mill slasher flick we're privy to a maniac picking off a bunch of fools off one at a time. This group includes Alphonse - a smug, controlling porn director who consistently belittles everyone around him, a gentle doormat whom you just want to hug (his name is Steve but he's referred to as "Fats" because he's a bit overweight), and three sexy women whose characters are not quite as fleshed out as their bodies.

Wrestling is a lot like life, only cooler.
I won't call Wrestlemaniac "brilliant" or even "slightly better than the worst episode of a bad 80's soap opera", but I did enjoy it. Have you have ever wondered what a head smash to the turnbuckle would look like if the turnbuckle was replaced with a jagged rock? Have you ever imagined a backbreaker so devastatingly precise that the wrestler actually broke his opponent's spine? If (like me) you have, then you may or may not want to check this one out.

If on the other hand you think that professional wrestling is totally stupid then you should probably just watch something else.

7 comments:

Landshark said...

I always think of you and Handsome Stan when I find myself mentally judging someone (often a student) when they reveal they like pro wrestling. This usually is enough to get me to listen to whatever stupid thing the kid is saying with at least an open mind.

Catfreeek said...

This is so funny, I literally thought of you guys yesterday when I went to a yardsale and saw a collection of wrestling rings for sale. If the figures had been there too I would have bought the whole lot. Glad you watched this, not a stellar film but it's fun.

DCD said...

Think of your nephew too, Landshark as he is a wrestling fan as well. (Much to my chagrin - no offense, JSP!)

AC said...

I like the tagline on the first photo: "let the face off begin."

Raven Cassidey said...

I haven't seen this film since I wrote about it last October. :D

http://ravencassidey.blogspot.ie/2012/10/halloween-countdown-day-23-slam-jam.html

Octopunk said...

My favorite parts of this review were right at the beginning and ending:

"As a defiantly proud (yet somehow equally ashamed) fan of pro-wrestling..."

and

"If on the other hand you think that professional wrestling is totally stupid then you should probably just watch something else."

Ah, fandom! I am often puzzled by the appeal of professional wrestling, but I feel that way about a lot of "normal" sports as well.

I noted last year that kaiju movies and professional wrestling scratched the same itch, and so probably implied that I respected your right to love what you love. I don't really feel that way, though. Professional wrestling is totally stupid. Hence your shame.

(I say this knowing it completely contradicts all the nice stuff I said about how we respect people's opinions around here in my comment on Crystal's The Bay review. Ah well.)

Landshark said...

I think I dallied in pro wrestling fandom when I was his age too, DCD (I at least postured as one...never really could watch a full episode).

And if he doesn't grow out of it, he can always turn out like Stan or JSP!