Friday, October 18, 2013

I'll Always Know What You Did Last Summer


(2006)**


On July 4, 2005, four friends are enjoying the county fair, winning prizes and talking about the urban legend that sprung from the real incidents of the first two “I Know…” movies.  Suddenly, the supposedly mythical fisherman, who likes to seek vengeance on teenagers who don’t own up to their mistakes, appears and begins slashing around with his hook.  A chase ensues, and inexplicably, one kid ends up at the top of a parking structure with a skateboard.  The fisherman chases him as the kid skates off his building.  Cut to the parking lot where we learn that the fisherman was just a kid in disguise so the skater could show off his mad skills.  He must’ve landed on those mattresses we set out for him earlier.  Let’s go get him.  Oh no!  A tractor parked on top of the mattresses, and our friend got impaled by the tractor’s smokestack!  He’s dead!  Well, since we’re four friends who are really dumb, and since nobody will ever ask questions about the mattresses, let’s just keep the fact that this was a stunt gone wrong a huge secret from everyone.  Okay?  Do you promise?

So, yeah, a year later, they start getting messages saying, “I know what you did last summer”,     and the rest of the movie is the same as the first two, but without the charisma of better actors.  I was really surprised to see that nobody has posted reviews of the first two IKWYDLS movies.  Not that I blame anyone for avoiding a second viewing.  From what I recall, the first two movies weren’t very good.  This one is exactly the same except for two changes – one good, one bad.

In the real IKWYDLS movies, the teens thought they killed a guy, so keeping a secret sort of made sense.  In this movie, the teens didn’t do anything.  The only secret they’re keeping is, “oh yeah, I friend had meant to land on mattresses, so that it would look like he could do a crazy cool skating trick”.  That’s not a crime!  There’s no reason to keep that a secret, and thus the whole premise of running around being afraid is pretty silly.  Also, the enemy in this film, all he ever does is send his message via text, and write it in the dust on someone’s bike.  That’s not a reason to freak out all over town like these kids do. 

Anyway, the good part –[SPOILER ALERT]... without giving too much away [SPOILER ALERT], this movie differs from the first two in that it jumps into the supernatural realm instead of the pissed off psycho killer realm, which was refreshing, but definitely not enough to save this weak attempt to cash in on the memories we had of this…
 

8 comments:

Johnny Sweatpants said...

Good god, I didn't know this movie existed until just now. I remember the first installment being somewhat decent (Kevin Williamson wrote it) although I haven't seen it in many years so it could very well stink.

They should have called this one "I Know What You Did Last Summer But Don't Beat Yourself Up Over It 'Cuz it's Really Not That Big a Deal".

JPX said...

I did not know that this movie even existed! You make a very good point, Trevor, there is no reason for these kids to keep this a secret. I barely remember the original two movies, but I think it is now your duty to review them for us

Trevor said...

Please, no. I was having such a pleasant October, and I would hat to ruin it by spending 3 + hours sitting through those films. And actually JPX, I'm afraid you must have simply blocked it from your memory, because it was you that posted the news of this film seven years ago...
http://horrorthon.blogspot.com/search?q=i+know+what+you+did

JPX said...

Seven years ago? I can't even remember what I was wearing yesterday!

Landshark said...

I love how every time someone reviews a movie that's part of a large crappy franchise, JPX tries to peer pressure the thonner into following up and watching the rest of said crappy franchise. The crappier the movie, the more pointed the pressure, I think.

Catfreeek said...

That's because JPX has committed himself to the crappy Amityville franchise so he wants someone else to suffer along with him.

AC said...

ha hah! trevor, you watch exactly what you want. no succumbing to peer pressure!

Octopunk said...

Nice review, Trevor, and nice find.

Freedom of choice is paramount, of course, but there is a precedent for crappy series completion. The year we started the blog I watched all seven Howling movies, 50P watched all the Leprechaun flicks one year, etc.

I've never seen any of the IKWYDLS flicks, nor did I read the book back when everyone was reading the book. I'm not proud of my ignorance, but neither have I felt compelled to correct it.