#6. Moaning Myrtle: Creepy and DepressingMoaning Myrtle, a ghost who haunts the Hogwarts School for Witchcraft and Wizardry, is clearly meant to be adorable: She talks in cutesy baby-talk, wears big nerdy glasses and seems to harbor a quiet crush on our hero, Harry Potter. Aww.
She's so adorable, in fact, that it's easy to forget that we're talking about the tormented specter of a child who's doomed to exclusively haunt middle school bathrooms. Assuming she's into it, you've got a pubescent dead voyeur watching school-age boys use the toilet. Assuming she's not, you've got a murdered child who's forced to hang out in a smelly-ass bathroom for all eternity.
Either way, holy Hell, is that some dark shit. Children who read this book will probably have difficulty using public restrooms for the rest of their lives, forever looking over their shoulders while dropping deuces, fearful that they're being scrutinized by an underage poltergeist with a weird bathroom fetish. Thanks a lot, Rowling. We'll be sending you our psychiatrist bills.
See the rest of the list here, http://www.cracked.com/index.php?name=News&sid=2192
1 comment:
Those items are kinda funny, but I'm still in too much of a happy Potter haze to hear any criticism, even jokingly.
However, I will point out that the portrayal of Moaning Myrtle in the Chamber of Secrets movie is probably the premier example of how director Chris Columbus had no fucking clue what he was doing. Her mincing, chirping vocal style was so weird and off-kilter it made me think I'd fallen asleep and was having a bad dream. You know when a movie starts being so bad at what it's doing that it's awkward? It's like that. Dreadful.
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