Wednesday, May 20, 2009

Haiku Hump Day: The Matrix!

Before I finalized today's topic, I did a quick review. Free of charge, here are the weekly topics we've graced with our Eastern poetry so far:

Star Wars
Abandoned Houses
Original Star Trek
Lord of the Rings
Video Games
80s Movies
Saturday Morning TV
Action Figures
The Future
Heavy Metal
Jiggle Television
Wizard of Oz
Swine Flu
The Comic Strip

Back when I was cooking up the superhero topic, I pondered two others: The Wizard of Oz, and the Matrix. Now, months later, finally getting to the end of my short list, I'll admit I entertained other possibilities...

...but The Matrix is persuasive in its own special way.

To be clear, I don't must just mean the first movie, but the entire trilogy, the Animatrix (which if you haven't seen, you should), the video games (although I won't know what you're talking about), the comic book (ditto), or anything else you think is relevant.

This is the Matrix after all, so theoretical discussions are encouraged. All opinions as to the nonexistence of spoons will be given due respect.

As judge of this round, I should mention that, although the sequels have glaring faults, I have always been a fan of both of them. This isn't to say you shouldn't disagree, but if you 'ku in that direction you should probably taunt me directly.

Now let's take a moment and think of all the things the Matrix has taught us... to make informed medical choices...

...the importance of friends...

...the proper response to the menace of SUVs... to make a good impression when you're visiting new people...

...that land lines are nice but they leave you vulnerable to garbage truck attack...

...that it's important to dress up sometimes...

... and that if you can imprint your essence on others and thereby make endless copies of yourself, by all means do it.

Now spin rhymes!

(Well, no, not rhymes exactly. You know what I mean.)


Octopunk said...

load program

load program

Just seventeen bits
Describe all reality
What is Haikutrix?

AC said...

keanu's best role?
wooden acting works, and he
rocks the long black coat.

Julie said...

I know ju-jitsu
And I can stop fast bullets
Cuz I am the one.

Julie said...

When servers go down,
Do human batteries die
in those freaky pods?

Julie said...

Can't logon at work,
So I'm writing some haikus.
Machines ain't no threat.

Chris said...

Do not try to write.
Only recognize the truth.
There is no Haiku.

Chris said...

What good are lessons,
When you're acting always sucks
Mr. Anderson?

AC said...

trinity called it:
neo's the one. (luckily;
otherwise she's dead.)

how hot's trinity?
very hot. she's so hot she's
making me gay. bitch!

HandsomeStan said...

YESSS! I almost picked this topic instead of Ninjas. Excellent! Great lead-in, too, Octo. Ahem hem...

Latex and cool shades
That's MY virtual costume
Nice ass, Trinity

Matrix in IMAX
Man, Morpheus has bad skin
Some things better small

Catfreeek said...

Back bend, dodge bullets
you just knew everyone would
steal that cool effect

Is it just me but
when I see Keanu Reeves
I see Bill & Ted

Catfreeek said...

The Matrix effect
Dozens of ubergeeks now
wearing long trench coats

HandsomeStan said...

Reloaded: awesome.
Best Fight Ever. Best Car Chase
In Movie History.

Revolutions: ehh.
Neo BLIND? Trinity DEAD?
And a fucking TRUCE???

"No spoon" - I get it
That's what I use every time
I eat "no yogurt"

Catfreeek said...

Ubergeeks? Trench coats?
Think I'm feeling deja vu
Ah yes, Highlander

HandsomeStan said...

That Architect speech
Lots and lots of big, big words
Took me three viewings

I've seen this before
Keanu Reeves and phonebooths
Where's Bill S. Preston?

Neo was Jesus
See? All the Bible needed
Was good kung fu fights

Catfreeek said...

Oh yes, The Matrix
This thing's in his head and...wait
Johnny Pneumonic?

50PageMcGee said...

The Pornomatrix
Neo disrobes fifty chicks
but in Bullet Time!

50PageMcGee said...

the word "whoa" applied:
cool, not cool, interesting
what?, okay, why?, hey!

50PageMcGee said...

The Pornomatrix
Scenes featuring Agent Smith
all massive orgies

HandsomeStan said...

Oracle no help
"We all do what we all do"?
Go back to baking

Damn! Oracle dead
Bring in the backup lady
Just like on Night Court

Johnny Sweatpants said...

I would have eaten
The red pill AND the blue pill
With a shot of Jack

HandsomeStan said...

Machines take over
Let's fuck the sky up for good
That should do the trick

The jump program
Why a huge, tall skyscraper?
Start with a ladder

Johnny Sweatpants said...

Lawrence Fishburne will
Always be Cowboy Curtis
Far as I'm concerned

HandsomeStan said...

Slow motion jump up
Bass - dropping. Heart rate - rising.
Kick me anytime

HandsomeStan dream night
Trinity and Erin Grey
Playing strip poker

Mr AC said...

Black leather trenchcoat
May obscure Neo's weapons
But not bad acting

Robotic squid thing
Why do you harass me so?
Now I must zap you

He answered the phone
He followed the white rabbit
He took the blue pill

AC said...

human "pods," great films:
matrix, body snatchers, and,
of course, killer klowns.

HandsomeStan said...

Nice, Mr. AC!

The whole day today we've been shooting flashback sequences on a purely white stage. It's been like standing in the construct program for 12 hours.

Anyway, I told our Key PA about the site & the topic, and she submitted the following to me earlier without any knowledge of whatwas already here.

A big welcome to another guest star:

AC said...

matrix end of days:
is jsp fucking a
metal squid robot?

Catfreeek said...

AC, you're my hero :)

Coffee 'n' Shush said...

"Whoah.". One word says so
Much. An "excellent" for a
New generation

Red pill or blue pill
I intend to eat my fill
Cheshire cat time yet?

Neo, don't you know?
Trinity is nowyour Bill
Where's your phonebooth now?

AC said...

agent smith: ruthless,
self-aware program. neo
penetrated him.

AC said...

will smith turned down role;
a neo with charisma?!
will wasn't the one.

Catfreeek said...

I'm just amused that
AC found a way to use
word penetrated

Even more amazed
that Keanu still gets roles
when he just can't act

AC said...

silly morpheus,
the clue's in the anagram:
"neo" and "one." whoa!

nowandzen said...

Neo taunts agents
Moves like light first movie
Second and Third, stroke?

Bullet Time fly by
Cardboard acting finds it soul
By Summoning Reaves

Matrix just stolen
Only true geeks knew the truth
Ghost in the Machine

Matrix fu ya chop
Whole series just to pay for
Transsexual dream

AC said...

where was jpx?
not even one wee haiku?
hope he's not... unplugged.