Rangarok 'n' Roll - With the Winner Comes Salvation!!!

“Blessed is he that readeth, and they that hear the words of this prophecy, and keep those things which are written therein: for the time is at hand.

I was in the Spirit on the Haiku Hump Day, and heard behind me a great voice, as of a trumpet,

Write the things which thou hast seen, and the things which are, and the things which shall be hereafter;

For the great day of his wrath is come; and who shall be able to stand?”

Blah blah blah. And so on and so forth. All verbatim from Revelations. But those were the ONLY relevant passages, among dozens. There is absolutely no coincidence between the seven angels in Revelations and the seven contributors to this particular Haiku Hump Day. None whatsoever. (I don’t count me. Anyway…)


"Is that AC on the far left?"

AC – SO super-strong right out of the gate, and more than willing to dive in and help a brother out on his (seemingly doomed) Haiku Day about Doomsday:

pandemic humor
if swine flu DID wipe us out
i might die laughing

last moment wishes:
call my brother, hug husband,
then devour his brain

Cat – warped, absolutely warped. Future apocalypse (or not) will be AS unexpected and randomly crazy as a cross section of her haikus. She managed to cover just about every strange parallel universe or possible future I could ever hope (or want to avoid) seeing:

Twenty twelve the end
Def Leppard cd sales soar!
Armageddon it!


"Are you getting it? Frankly, Joe, I'm not."

She covered that, in addition to the human race’s fate being spun away on Wheel Of Fortune. Plus a quick dig at Richard Simmons. And JSP with dead cats. AND her own personal corpse on a toilet. AND finally taking out Jehovah’s Witnesses:

World of Jehovah's
Whose doors would they knock on then
I'd rather be dead


“So true…so true. And that’s right – I picked this picture. Think about it.”

JSP – for the Debbie Downer Doom n/ Gloom Super-Depressing Haiku, I can only say that I am impressed with your ability to take an already huge downer of a topic, and come up with 17 syllables that should make any rational human being throw up their hands in despair, and stick their heads in their oven immediately:

We all slowly choke
Humans can no longer breathe
In the atmosphere



Okay, man, I GOT it – we’re all going to die horribly. Jeez, who invited Dr. Doom to the Big Downer Doom Party? (Which gets funnier and funnier the more I think about it. Here, we’re all supposed to goof off and be irreverent and hilarious about (yay!) our own impending doom, and JSP pretty much comes in with a Hindenburg-style haiku that basically just takes the joint down in flames. In a manner of speaking.) Well done, sir!

Fortunately, he tempered this nuclear, scorched-earth poetry with a counterpoint:

Pondering the end
Will not get you anywhere
Why not play Pacman?



I might add, for al the bullshit surrounding The King Of Kong, Billy Mitchell DID in fact achieve what no other mortal has ever accomplished – the PERFECT Pac-Man game. And he looks a little like Jesus.

THIS WEEK’S WINNER:

Octo – the West Coast Advantage serves you well, my friend. It was just simply these two:

When everyone's gone
I'm heading to the toy store
For all the Legos



The first for the notion of an end-of-the-world scenario that we all want to embrace: something, some turn of events that turns the whole world into an inadvertent paradise for each of us specifically. (Me: somehow, the Death Comet wipes out only stupid people and I am elected Super-Cool King of Everything; Cat: every other form of life besides her husband, kids, 50 supermodels for her kids to breed with, and every single cat on Earth are wiped out; JSP and JPX: same as mine, but they’re Super-Cool Kings of Everything In Some Other Place And Kiss Plays All The Time, etc. etc….)

When the comet comes
Taking lead from coyote
Small pink parasol



And the second for what is regarded in the realm of comedy routines as a brilliant thing, if you do it correctly: the callback. His return to the Coyote’s parasol had me rolling, both for the imagery and for the fact that he made me laugh out loud twice with the same image, for very different reasons.

That little parasol
Won't stop boulders, Coyote
Good try anyway
(courtesy Horrorthon, Saturday Morning Cartoons, 3/12/09, 2:42 AM PST)

And with that selection, and much more importantly, what Octo has touched upon, is the deeper notion of not only laughing at the idea of doomsday and death, but also meeting everything headlong with a comic panache and swagger. Well done, sir. Congratulations!

And I’ll leave you with this:

“To the well-organized mind, Death is but the next great adventure.”

Albus Dumbledore