Tuesday, May 26, 2009

Haiku Hump Day: Guilty Pleasures







Thanks to Octopunk’s list-making last week, Mr. AC and I were able to review prior haiku topics with ease. Time to mix things up, we thought, and provide a universal and hopefully entertaining topic. We realize the term “guilty pleasure” is misleading, since we of the blog don’t really believe in guilt. “Guilty pleasure” in this context is shorthand for “you know it’s bad or bad for you, and you love it anyway.” If you’re on the fence about fessing up, that’s a good sign. Shame and embarrassment are the hallmarks of a true guilty pleasure. Of course, Mr. AC and I can’t expect anyone to expose their tender, guilt-ridden underbellies if we don’t, so we’ll contribute a handful of haikus in solidarity.


Needless to say, the content of the guilty pleasure itself, as well as haiku craft, will factor into our decision, so let it all hang out there- if you dare.


60 comments:

Octopunk said...

Blue Crush! Just love it
Katie Bosworth and hot pals
Hawaii surf chicks

Octopunk said...

Props to JPX
I think he hipped me to it
And now I stole it

Octopunk said...

Take one jar cheese whiz
And just as much mayonnaise
Nuke with chopped onions

Octopunk said...

Back in the day (yo)
JPX and I ate that
Every Saturday

50PageMcGee said...

i'm on my third beer
i'm out of the other stuff
substitute vices

50PageMcGee said...

No Jacket Required
my very first cassette tape
played it till it snapped

JPX said...

Reality shows
Like Little People, Big World
It's fun to be small

Jon and Kate Plus 8
Watching a marriage collapse
Fun when it's not yours

JPX said...

Octo stole Blue Crush!
I watch it annually
Surfing and good tunes

80s action flicks
With Stallone, Arnie, Seagall
You had me at BAM!

JPX said...

Sitting on the beach
Reading Archie comic books
Laughing like a jerk

My peers read research
They always sound so damn smart
So that's why I'm poor

I love Nick at Nite
Watching for 17 years
Nostalgia addict

Nickelodeon
My kid got me hooked on it
Now I make him watch

Spongebob, iCarly
I can't get enough of them
It's my secret shame

JPX said...

I watch few sitcoms
Love "How I Met Your Mother"
Who is the mother!?

I hate most talk shows
But if one features fat guys
You bet I'm watching

Catfreeek said...

Grease 1 and Grease 2
Can't click past them if they're on
I know all the songs

Old school musicals
I love what JPX loathes
Rainy day comfort

I own so many
Sweet Charity, Pillow Talk
and Gypsy Rose too

Can't just watch horror
Sing along with Danny Kaye
and no it's not gay

Catfreeek said...

Musicals aside
Addicted to Autopsy
morbid interest

Catfreeek said...

I have a limit
One musical I so hate
Piece of crap called "Rent"

Okay I'll admit
I went to see Bette Midler
She was fucking great!

JPX said...

I like White Christmas
Bing Crosby, and Danny Kaye
So bad it's gay good

Catfreeek said...

Armed with my ipod
Walking in the early morn
tuned to opera

I hate to admit
I went to see John Denver
So embarrassing

JPX said...

I saw the Monkees
I slapped the boys "5" one time
They have some good songs!

Catfreeek said...

In my car cd
I have the Monkees right now
Driving and singing

Catfreeek said...

So, even worse yet
Opening for John Denver
Starland Vocal Band

Skyrockets in flight
Are you ready to get some
Afternoon delight?

Catfreeek said...

Most addicting site
televisiontunes.com
Every theme song made

I've spent so much time
Strolling down memory lane
Yeah, every theme song!

Catfreeek said...

Sex and the City
I Watched every episode
and saw the movie

Replaced that chick show
Showtime's Secret Diary
My new sex city

AC said...

you guys are awesome.


on my shuffle now:
kenny loggins AND gerry
rafferty. beat that?

i do love gossip,
celebrity or “real life”
it’s just so tasty.

i dig deep-fried foods
but husband doesn’t approve
so i must sneak them.

mr. ac may
deny it, but we both love
the smell of cat breath.

time to out myself:
miko might forgive me. i
like butter pecan. :(

Landshark said...

Swayze as Bodhi,
as in "the Bodhisattva."
Can't make that shit up.

Bodhi and Utah:
Homoeroticism,
it's what's for dinner.

Beauty and the Geek!
Except no guilt required.
That show is genius.

Also used to get
goosebumps from Sweet Caroline
'fore Sox made it cool.

HandsomeStan said...

Tube of cookie dough
Late night in the college dorm
I'd do it again

HandsomeStan said...

Do 12 Coors Lites count?
Definite pleasure, but then,
I don't feel guilty

Model kits - mmm hmm.
All Star Blazers battleships
And I paint them too

JPX said...

You know E. Weekly?
I've never missed an issue
Started with first one

When I get Pro Jo
I only read the Lifebeat
Sometimes just the strips

JPX said...

Sometimes with brownies
I only eat the batter
Once ate the whole bowl

Trevor said...

Supernatural
weekly after The Office
Great start to weekend

Trevor said...

Dear Abby each morn'
Only read the sad questions
Old lady's thoughts suck

Johnny Sweatpants said...

Where do I begin?
Everything I like is crap
Meant to rot the brain

Public zoos bore me
But I sure like my Monkees
Mickey’s my favorite

Late 80’s glam rock
Booze, long hair, bandanas, girls
Still makes sense to me

Billy Madison
Juvenile and inane
I can recite it

nowandzen said...

Point Break Check and next
Road House on can't turn it off
Guess I Heart Patrick

JPX said...

Flintstones vitamins
The healthiest thing I eat
I like the orange ones

Johnny Sweatpants said...

Journey can eat fuck
And yet I dig Foreigner
Please don’t ask me why

If Cuts Like a Knife
Plays in a supermarket
I will nod my head

G said...

Barry Manilow
came and gave without taking
can't send him away

Catfreeek said...

Love sunflower seeds
Planters salted in the shell
could eat them all day

Kaki no tane
Japanese snacky food treat
order them online

I know it sounds sick
Pickles and Peanut butter
Tony swears by it

Catfreeek said...

Flintstones vitamins
Eat one every morning too
I like the purple

Queen of musicals
Has to be Julie Andrews
Huge fan, I mean HUGE

Catfreeek said...

Best show, Freaks and Geeks
I Love every episode
Cried on the last show

G said...

syndicated Flo
our love is so wrong, so right
wanna kiss her grits

Alice, my chanteuse
cats screw with more harmony
over easy, please

wait for me, Vera
thought when you said "just the tip"
dinner was on you

Johnny Sweatpants said...

New Kids one the Block
Some of their stuff isn't bad
Piss off - I'M KIDDING.

Catfreeek said...

Big confession here
been watching my soaps for years
I never miss them

So here's the low down
Jess is Bess,took Starr's baby
and Stacy stole Rex

The other one has
murder mishap,who killed who
and Greenlee's not dead

G said...

Hot Chicks With Douchebags
metaphorically speaking
tools, not Massengills

HandsomeStan said...

I'm not Out Of Touch
And I'll blast them from my car
That's right - Hall & Oates

Wham's Careless Whisper
Soundtrack to 5th grade First Kiss
Always a soft spot

80s Madonna
Don'[t care how gay it makes me
I'll Express Myself

HandsomeStan said...

The G4 Channel
Morgan & Olivia
Geekboy fantasies

Grey's Anatomy
Got me all choked up one time
I blame MrsX

HandsomeStan said...

Intervention plus
Celebrity Rehab - Fun!
They're fucked up...not me!

JPX said...

In KMART I heard
The Pointer Sisters' "Slow Hand"
Quietly dug it

Gibbs' "Shadow Dancing"
Another secret shame song
I love that damn tune!

Somehow I managed
To see every episode
Of Home Improvement

Mr. AC said...

In the shopping mall
The pervasive smell beckons
Cinnabon "pastry."

Sergeant in Air Force
Then a PBS painter
I love Bob Ross art.

She mesmerized me
In an afterschool special:
Christy McNichol

Jessica Rabbit
I know I'm not alone here
You would do her too.

Dana's Brain said...

Hundreds of classics
Never cracked the spines. Bodice-Rippers
were my books of choice!

Although, not those lame
Harlequins. Give me Nora
Roberts all day long!

A League of Their Own
There's no crying in baseball!
Makes me laugh each time.

Laughed so hard today
Octo's culinary best:
Cheese Whiz concoction

(It's SO delicious. Seriously, you should go make some right now.)

Dana's Brain said...

Oh, Patrick Swayze.
You're a dancer and fighter
Sigh. Be still my heart.

Dana's Brain said...

Yup, I read gossip
Love all that stuff on the Stars!
There just like us! Suuuuure.

HandsomeStan said...

Old age has set in
Real World/Road Rules Challenges
No guilt or pleasure

Dana's Brain said...

Mmm. How about food?
Dunkin's vanilla creme filled.
Donut of the gods!

Covered in powder,
Stuffed full of sugary goo,
What's that Homer noise?

JPX said...

People Magazine
US, In Touch, I love them all
I'm a gossip hound

Dana's Brain said...

Sometimes when driving,
if I'm grumpy I'll listen
to Sesame Street.

What? The songs are good!
And you can totally zone.
C is for cookie.

Dana's Brain said...

Honestly? I would
choose to watch Backyardigans.
I freaking love it.

Catfreeek said...

If we're talking books
I like biographies of
medieval assholes

Read a bunch of them
De Sade & Henry the 8th
Both were total pricks

Read Anne Rice series
including erotic tales
of sleeping beauty

Dana's Brain said...

Babs and Neil Diamond.
You don't bring me flowers. You
don't sing me love songs...

Dana's Brain said...

Speaking of Neil D.
"Turn on your heartlight!" Still makes
me cry. Damn E.T.

Okay, I'll fess up.
I have a whole collection.
Neil Diamond RULES, man!

JPX said...

Neil Diamond does rule!
"I'm a Believer" is great
Love Neil Monkees songs

Catfreeek said...

I still can't part with
Bay City Roller albums
My junior high faves

Still have my Barbies
they are stored in the basement
wanna come and play?

JPX said...

I still haven't seen
All 79 Trek eps
I"m working on it

Catfreeek said...

Best guilty pleasure?
Dive in vat of chocolate
Seriously, mmmm.