Thursday, October 26, 2006

Living Dead Girl

(1982) zero stars


Two grave robbers get the surprise of their lifetime when, while robbing the grave of “beautiful” (debatable) Catherine, an earthquake (or something) causes a chemical spill, which fills Catherine’s coffin with toxic ooze and brings her back to life. She immediately kills the robbers and we see copious amounts of blood Sam Peckinpah style. Despite being part of the living dead, Catherine manages to call her best buddy, Helene, who is still mourning Catherine’s death. Unfazed by Catherine’s new living dead status, Helene is immediately on board and has no problem providing her with victims (fresh blood) to keep Catherine alive (would my friends do this for me? hell no. jerks). Yep, that’s about it.

Helene being a pal.

No I’m not a pervert, these stills pretty much capture the essence of this terrible movie. Catherine is pretty much naked the entire time and any other female in the movie pretty much gets naked too. I read a bunch of reviews about this film before ever acquiring it and boy were they all misleading. Film descriptions make it sound like this is some lost Picasso. Here’s an example from a DVD review,

“Encore Films continues to show the oft forgotten director much love with their exceptionally well put together release of (what can only be described as) the director's most accessible work, Living Dead Girl. Ultra gory, but still as respectable and lyrical as his other efforts, Living Dead Girl is a great starting point for an introduction to Rollin's wealth or work.”

Make no mistake, Living Dead Girl is a story that could be told in 5 minutes but is padded for 90 (it felt like 600). There are many long, lingering scenes where nothing much happens at all (e.g., 5 minutes of Catherine just walking). “But she’s naked, with full frontal nudity!” you all cry. Let me tell you, the nude novelty wears off mighty fast. After a few minutes I found myself yelling at Catherine to, “Put some goddamn clothes on!” Terrible acting, poor production values, a glacially paced story, and bad music make this a complete and utter waste of celluloid.

4 comments:

Octopunk said...

Yikes, look at all the naked! After all my bold noises in my TCM remake review about being more up front about nudity appreciation, I'll sheepishly admit this has me glancing over my shoulder and wondering which members of my family are tuning in. I did warn them. Kind of.

JPX is all about raising (lowering?) that bar on the blog, though. Check out this funny picture of Heath Ledger.

JPX said...

Again I only included the nudity because this is what the ENTIRE film looked like. I assure everyone it's not me just being sleezy!

Octopunk said...

Long live the Sleeze! My reaction up there is a bit prudish, mostly 'cuz I'm viewing this at work.

Although constant lack of wardrobe would seem to equal cinematic gold by the junior high school standards at the core of this contest, when you're older there is actually such a thing as too much. I experienced this when I watched I Spit On Your Grave last year.

JPX said...

NEW YORK — There's nothing frightening about horror this Halloween, at least not for entertainment executives.
The genre rose from the dead, generating a record $1 billion in 2005 box office sales, up nearly 15% from 2004 and 78% from 2003. And it's still on a tear, based on the buzz for this weekend's Saw III and recent successes including The Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning, The Wicker Man and The Grudge 2.

Now, Comcast, Sony and independent studio Lionsgate hope to scare up more cash with the Oct. 31 launch of FearNet. The three-way venture targets 18- to 34-year-olds with films and other attractions on an on-demand TV channel, website and cellphones.

"We said, 'Let's do this in a way that nobody's ever done before,' and it's got everybody excited," says Steve Mosko, president of Sony Pictures Television.

FearNet will offer Comcast digital customers horror shorts and trailers and about 70 hours of movies a month from the studios' combined libraries, which include Poltergeist, Bram Stoker's Dracula, Carrie, Ghoulies, Night of the Living Dead, The Howling and the original The Texas Chainsaw Massacre.

Sony and Lionsgate have more than 1,000 horror titles, about half of the total from major studios.

Comcast won't charge for the films. They'll be supported by ads appearing from time to time on part of the screen during the movie and during intermissions that may feature interviews with directors and stars.

Comcast also will offer FearNet to other cable operators, for a fee.

"The revenue side is more unknown than a traditional cable channel, but the cost side is more limited," says Jeff Shell, president of Comcast's programming group. He expects FearNet to break even within five years.

The website will offer 50 movies for sale or rent and other flicks streamed for free, as well as clips, games and a horror database. "You can search through key words like 'ax murderer,' " says Diane Robina, president of Comcast's Emerging Networks.

There'll also be a MySpace-like service for users to share thoughts.

Horror attracts "a coveted audience (that's) tech savvy and equally balanced between male and female," says Robina. "It's no longer just scary guys in their basement."

To keep things fresh, FearNet is seeking input from celebrities who are part of what it calls the "horror lifestyle." For example, Comcast has been interviewing rock bands including Tool and Siouxsie and the Banshees.

Initially, users with Web-enabled cellphones can download text. Future plans include some video and ring tones, possibly including Bernard Herrmann's theme from the famous Psycho shower scene.