Wednesday, October 18, 2006

Revolt of the Zombies


(1936) *1/2

"I want my 23 cents back!" - said the first guy to leave the theater after sitting through Revolt of the Zombies.

I have a minor quest this year to find the earliest movie in which zombies feed on human flesh as I've been unable to extract a definitive answer online.  Alas, I'm willing to watch any and all old movies with "zombie" in the title. No luck here.

Much to my disappointment, Revolt of the Zombies is not about zombies being disgusted by their own decaying existence.   It is merely a yawn-inducing knockoff of White Zombie with embarrassing acting, an insipid plot, and special effects that should in no way be deemed "special."   This crap takes place in Cambodia where an evil US soldier obtains vast power by zombifying the natives and turning them into his unholy army.   But all the zombies in the world cannot make the lovely Dorothy fall in love with him…  

"Big deal you idiot, you control an army of zombies!" I shouted, or would have shouted if anyone was there to listen.   But noooo, Armand gives up his power to win the girl's heart, only to be faced with a slew of angry natives who don't much care for being enslaved. But at least he gets what's coming to him.

Back to the lousy special effects - there's one scene where two guys are wading through a river by means of blue screen. The illusion is first shattered by the fact that they're clearly two guys walking in place, towards the camera. Secondly, I don't care if you ARE recovering from the Great Depression, at least acknowledge the fact that water slows down your pace! Thirties jerks... I've seen better acting in school plays.

And another thing - this movie sucks!

Like JPX, I picked up a 50 pack of horror (for 20 bucks!) to draw from when needed.   But due to the super savings involved, they cut corners in the packaging and presentation departments.   And in this case, the movie department. The plot summaries are two sentences long and no year of release is given.

1 comment:

Octopunk said...

A: Master! The zombies are revolting!

B: You're telling me, they stink on ice.

Sorry, couldn't help it.

Malevolent

 2018  ***1/2 It's 1986 for some reason, and a team of paranormal investigators are making a big name for themselves all over Scotland. ...