Sunday, October 29, 2006

Slither

(2006) **1/2


A meteorite lands in the woods of a small southern town. Here's the setup as brief as I can make it: Hot teacher in a classroom teaching students about Darwin -> teacher denies husband sex in bed -> husband runs around woods with girl he meets at a bar -> gets injected in stomach with bug from meteorite.

Bear with me - this movie is all over the board, making it difficult to summarize. The bug crawls to his brain and controls him. He then buys an awful lot of meat at the supermarket. Slimy worms shoot out of his stomach and enter the stomach of the girl from the bar. She becomes a giant blob that consumes the mass quantities of meat. As a blob, she mass produces slimy tongue-like offspring that crawl into other humans and become their hosts.

Still reading? Wow, thanks! The humans that are being controlled stumble around like zombies and continue to spread the species into every human they encounter. At this point, the original host has now evolved into a giant slug-man who controls the minds of all the offspring. It's up to the teacher, the mayor, and a cop to get to the bottom of everything before the aliens take over all of mankind...

Actually, that's not what they have to do at all. All they really need to do is get the hell out of town and call the National Guard. Surely one of them would have enough common sense to get the military involved, right? Ohhhhh, I see what's going on here, this movie isn't very good...

Slither sure is gross but when you combine gross with three parts stupid, you walk away feeling a little used. It also lacks focus. Are you zombies? Worms? Aliens? Jabba the Hutt? Pick something and stick to it.

5 comments:

Jordan said...

NO, NO! Not that picture again!!!

AAAHHH!

Summerisle said...

If you squint your eyes, she looks kind of like a hairy bellybutton.

Summerisle said...

That light rock You're Every Woman in the World song was used prominently in Slither. You know, the one that goes:

"Girl you're every woman in the world to me,
You're my fantasy, my reality
Girl you're every woman in the world to me
You're everything I need, you're everything to me."

I've been humming for about 4 straight hours now.

Octopunk said...

I actually like this movie a lot more than Summerisle here, but I will admit my dismay at how many times that Air Supply song pops into my head after viewing it.

Jordan said...

Octo, aren't you supposed to sneak in and put an image of Jessica Biel?