The Hills Have Eyes II

2007 ***

I'mnotMarc got a bee in his bonnet the other night about seeing this movie the DAY OF its release on dvd (last Tuesday), and how could I not join him? The short answer is that Alexandre Aja's presence was sorely missed.

We open with some research scientists putting surveillance gear in the desert, dealing with constant breakdowns that we all know is the fuckery of the Mutant Hill Folk who don't feel like being tracked. They quickly gain the upper hand and it's adios scientists. Enter a group of national guard rookies with a standard-issue array of personalities, like hyper badass, cool black guy, nerdy smart guy, etc. The bulk of the group heads up the hills for a rescue mission and a couple of the stupider ones are left back at base camp to lose their rifles and get harassed by the sneaky MHFs. By the time everybody's back together and aware of the situation the ones that are still alive are all trapped atop a mountain. The mutants are really good at distracting you while they steal your guns and ropes. Scary.

This plays out more like an action movie than a horror movie. As a horror flick it's got some game; there are a few worthy and original bits of violence. But there's nothing at all like the darkly pleasant brutality of last year's Hills remake. The scene in which the cannibalism is evidenced was showy and tired. By and large the mutants aren't as creepy-looking or as interesting as the last batch, and I completely lost track of how many there were or how one was meant to tell them apart.

Just like all the other Hills movies, the last "surprise POV" shot tells you that, despite the survival of a few would-be victims, the hills still have eyes. Except this time they're looking at the infrared computer readouts on some scientist's boosted laptop, so the Mutant Hill Folk have gone digital now. Maybe they'll start a website like Rorschach.