Thursday, March 12, 2009

And the Winner is....

Wow. Judging this thing is hard! I, like others' before me, have several Honorable Mentions. Let's go through those first before the big reveal, shall we? No reading ahead!

JPX warmed up quickly with these two which were my faves from him:

Conjunction Junction
Stuck in my head for decades
Still suck at English


Poor little rich boy
Always fending off robbers
Why not hire cops?

AC nailed my sentiments exactly with

cartoon classicists
know bugs bunny can't be beat.
highlight of morning

Landshark's timeline was spot on - especially,

6:30 wake up...
Little old lady talking
about math I think.


Fuck no! Bugs Bunny and friends
here for an hour.

(I really liked the thought of all of us as kids saying "Fuck no!")

Freeek had me laughing with,

Speedy Gonzales
Fastest but not smartest
Glue on floor, mouse stuck

Puffinslayer rose to the occasion on his inaugural Haiku Hump day!

Always amazed me
That Brainy Smurf was not stabbed
to death in his sleep


Anthropomorphic [dcd - SUCH a great word!]
A piece of legistlature
He is just a bill

JSP's and HandsomeStan's hilarious tauntage of 50P led to this gem from 50P:

writing smurf haiku
it's not at all difficult
"smurf" seventeen times

Johnny's Popeye duo made me giggle,

Popeye, I'm confused
Olive Oil? Serious?
He could do better

Well wait...maybe not
He's not exactly a proze
Spinach eating creep

And a late entry by Octo must be mentioned,

That little parasol
Won't stop boulders, Coyote
Good try anyway

But let's get down to Brass Tacks. Whatever-the-hell that means. For First Runner Up - which means, if for any reason the winner cannot fulfill their Hiaku duties (or poses naked or something), then the First Runner Up will take over the crown...

Johnny Sweatpants'

Transforming robots
"more than meets the eye" they say,
But not that much more....


And finally, for the following TWO - the second of which I missed until much later because I was laughing so hard at the first - HandsomeStan:

What about the guy
That wanted you to eat cheese?
Look! A wagon wheel!


Don't know about you
I picture something different
Hearing "Herculoid."

Congratulations to all!


Johnny Sweatpants said...

This is bullshit and I hate each and every one of you (except Whirlygirl, she's ok I guess).

And with that, I'm (dis)respectfully bowing out of Haiku Hump Day. Perhaps one day you'll all realize that Wednesdays just ain't the same without ol'JSP.

Dana's Brain said...

Uh jeez. And I'm bowing out on the off chance I might win again and possibly incur the wrath of JSP!!

HandsomeStan said...

Oh, come ON! Did Luke Skywalker quit when every other X-Wing was shot down? Did Hulk Hogan just give up when he lost the belt to Andre the Giant? Did Gene & Paul disband KISS when they lost the Catman? Did America give up when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor????

The answer, my friend, is a resounding NO.

Dana's Brain, I thank you for bestowing upon me this honor once again. I would be remiss if I didn't mention some of my personal favorites from the day, which should help to take the sting out of Johnny Bitterpants' post...

What was he thinking?
His friends weren't that amazing
Come on, Firestar? [JPX]

A cheap voltron clone?
I just loved it anyway
Go Mighty Orbots! [Puff]

And I would be remiss if I didn't mention Cheesefreeeek's entire haiku version of that wagon wheel guy's song. Incredible, and also disturbing.

For the record, Octo's parasol haiku sums up the Roadrunner cartoons perfectly.

I hope I don't meet with any unfortunate "accidents" before next Wednesday! (eyes narrowed at JSP)

Catfreeek said...

Johnny Bitterpants, hahahahahaha!!!!
and I thought getting stuck as cheeesefreeek was funny.

JSP~Quitting is for wusses

Congrats HS once again.

Dana's Brain said...


See, JSP - he's funny!

AC said...

i personally am delighted that jsp is out of haiku wednesday(s) since that increases my own chances of winning by a slight percentage.

say, johnny, maybe you need to bitterly boycott finish it friday as well! after all, it's the same hated gang, with your most bitter rival handsome stan making the call tomorrow.

HandsomeStan said...

Isn't the dramatic buildup just great?

"WILL Johnny Sweatpants finally shake off weeks of near-victories and crushing defeat? CAN he find the inner strength to suitably impress his arch-nemesis, Handsome Stan?

Tune in tomorrow - same Stan time, same Stan channel!!!"

AC said...

speaking of which, stan, i hope to be submitting my ending shortly... where do you want 'em?

Johnny Sweatpants said...

After a bit of soul searching, a lovely evening and a glass of wine I've decided to no longer actively hate you guys. And the wagon wheel haiku is admittedly f'in hysterical...

Stan, excuse me, HANDSOME Stan - I think you should re-post the Finish it Friday intro so's we's can all get reacquainted before dropping our stories.