Thursday, March 26, 2009

Haiku Hump Day Results - AKA "Johnny has a name for his sack?"

I'd have gotten back in time
To post on Wednesday

Truth be told, I actually got back to my place with a couple hours to spare. But having been on the road since 11 am and crossing most of the state of California and while having to listen to my dad's dumb puns, I just couldn't muster the enthusiasm to add anything.

I did read through all of the posts and formulated some preliminary opinions on which were the winners. I reread the 'kus this morning and my favorite from the night before remained my favorite. More on that in a bit.

First, the Runners-up:

Early on, JPX makes a brilliant logical plea...

"The future is now"
That never made any sense
Now is the present

Puff, we'll all get our own personal security detail, right?

I dream of the day
Postapocalyptic horde
is mine to command

Stan attempts to please everyone. Except the Muslims, really...

Another city
Would solve problems immensely
Islam, take Cleveland

Octo's first was a beaut...

Damn holo pornstar
Frakker's on the fritz again
Damn Mickey Mouse head

but the real payoff came moments later...

Transporter mishap
Won me a big lawsuit, but
Damn Mickey Mouse head

AC, I'm sure Keith has a dog that communicates with him telepathically, and I'm also sure that the dog's voice is the same as Keith's...

nuclear fallout
earth a desolate wasteland
yet keith richards lives

Prediction: Freeek, first to recognize the void, will be commissioned by the Soylent Corporation to write the first protein cracker cookbook...

What a shit future
Nothing to eat but crackers
they need recipes

All solid entries.

But I think everyone knew, the moment we read it, which one was going to come out on top. It's not just that it's funny, it's got pathos -- and it's got enough of both that I'm sure you all will understand that I'm not awarding Johnny Sweatpants the top prize merely because he did me the awesome favor of posting this week's HHD thread while I was robo-skiing in Tahoe.

Sex with a robot?
I did that for many years
Have you met my ex?

Genius. So much so that I second Handsome Stan's suggestion that this be inscribed in the HHD Hall of Fame. I guess that means that I move that there be a separate blog specifically to honor the best haiku our nerdy minds have produced.

The Future's the Past
All this has happened before
End of Line, bitches!


Catfreeek said...

I think we all knew that JSP had that one in the bag, and it was such an awesome victory. Thanks for the mention 50P :)

Now a big congrats for JSP who not only pulled off winning Finish it Friday 2 weeks ago but now has brilliantly came out of his long HHD slump. Does that mean your shit list has now been wiped clean?

50PageMcGee said...

Let me also mention that shortly after I called JSP to ask if he could post this week's topic, the terribly swell Octopunk went out of his way to call and offer to do the deed himself.

Thanks again Octo, you're terribly swell, as mentioned above.

Johnny Sweatpants said...

WHOOOOOOOOHHH!!!!! My first HHD triumph! I just want to hug everyone! Tweety and I are going to celebrate tonight like you wouldn’t believe. This victory was particularly sweet because it was at you-know-who’s expense. Anyway I hope I can come up with a worthy topic that’s not KISS.

Octopunk said...

Clap. Clap. Clap. Very well deserved. I hope that kick-ass haiku made all your suffering worthwhile.

Does this mean we're going to have to write erotic werewolf haikus next week?

Dana's Brain said...

Congrats, JSP! You definitely deserve the win for that one.

Please don't let next week's subject be KISS.

HandsomeStan said...

*sound of one hand clapping*

Seriously, that haiku was inspired. To paraphrase Octopunk, if the whole reason for the marriage in the first place was to someday make you able to write that haiku, well, I for one think it was all worth it. But the rest of your output was genius.

And a great topic selection as well, Fitty.

(Cut to next Wednesday: This Week's Haiku Topic: My Ex-Wife")

AC said...

well done sweatpants. the moment i saw your winning entry i knew further efforts were useless.

looking forward to writing a handful of horrotic werewolf haikus about your ex next wednesday.

AC said...

but if the topic is "johnny's sack" i'll sit next one out.