Wednesday, March 25, 2009

Haiku Hump Day: The Future!














50 Page is in Tahoe without internet doing God knows what but he asked me to post his topic for him and that's what I be doing.

51 comments:

HandsomeStan said...

50 churns butter
While we write about future
Very, very odd

HandsomeStan said...

All hail the robots!
Angry, horrible robots
Enslave you & me

HandsomeStan said...

SkyNet "self-aware"
Would've happened already
Or...happening...NOW?????

HandsomeStan said...

Handsome Stan alone here
Horrorthonners have vanished
Bleak dystopia

Johnny Sweatpants said...

No, seriously
Where's my damn robot butler?
I've been quite patient

Johnny Sweatpants said...

The future is now
The past never existed
Pass me that spliff, man

JPX said...

"The future is now"
That never made any sense
Now is the present

A "Space Odyssey"
Eight years later, still no HAL
The space shuttle sucks

The future I want
No religion and no Pope
Finally world peace

JPX said...

That's funny because I wrote that "future is now" bit before seeing that you had written one!

Back to the Future
Part III took place in the past
False advertising

Johnny Sweatpants said...

Brain chips placed at birth
Access knowledge instantly
A new race is born

JPX said...

The future on film
Blade Runner city was weird
What, no zoning laws?

HandsomeStan said...

Robot butler - good.
Flying cars - even better.
Headless clone - priceless.

They had lightsabers
A long, long, long time ago
Why can't we make them?

Puffinslayer said...

Attack Ships on Fire
off Shoulder of Orion
Android tears in rain

Day I get jetpack
Finally be able to moon
J. Sweatpants from sky

Don't care if car flies
Or we can visit the stars
I want sex robot

I dream of the day
Postapocalyptic horde
is mine to command

Cannibalism
Really not a bad idea
The other white meat

JPX said...

Walking on the beach
The Statue of Liberty
The future scares me

JPX said...

It's Mt. Everest
The last scene in Waterworld
The future scares me

Catfreeek said...

Woody Allen's take
Giant fruit, Orgasmatron
and that mystic orb

So, in the future
Manhattan's a big prison
Borgnine drives a cab

The biggest badass
is an eye patch guy named Snake
Yup, makes sense to me

Johnny Sweatpants said...

Sex with a robot?
I did that for many years
Have you met my ex?

JPX said...

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Catfreeek said...

A dismal future
Patrick Swayze and some teens
have to save the world

Desolate living
Big muscle cars but no gas
Mel Gibson kicked ass

Poor old George Jetson
Stuck going around and round
Jane, what the fuck man!

Catfreeek said...

JSP you're killing me

Johnny Sweatpants said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Johnny Sweatpants said...

In a few decades
Every one of us will die
Kind of depressing

HandsomeStan said...

In a few decades
We'll have cyborg body parts
Kind of really cool

Not so fast on "death" -
Upload your mind to the cloud
New cloned body: Done

We're doomed anyway
Twelve-twenty-one twenty-twelve
End of history

HandsomeStan said...

Even if Johnny doesn't win this week, I hereby vote for that "sex with a robot" haiku to enter the Haiku Hall of Fame.

Funniest. Haiku. Ever.

HandsomeStan said...

I thought Lazer Tag
Was the wave of the future
Couldn't be wronger

Then there was "Photon"
An even lamer version
With retard helmets

Catfreeek said...

Don't you think Jetsons
was really just the Flintstones
With way cooler stuff

Bender is the fave
Well, for most people that is
For me it's Zoidberg

I just turned 30
Uh oh, crystal is blinking
Off to Carousel

Wait! Stop! Don't eat that!
They've been lying to us all!
Soylent Green's people!

HandsomeStan said...

Hive mind emerging
Cell phones and chips in our brains
Singularity

One thing's for certain
People will keep getting fat
And also dumber

(Contradictory haikus. So what, big whoop, you wanna fight about it?)

Catfreeek said...

The future is bleak
I'll just sit here wasting time
writing more haikus

Nostradamus wrote
quatrains predicting our fate
but we don't listen

Johnny Sweatpants said...

I see the future
In less than 90 minutes
I'll be drinking beer

Catfreeek said...

I always wondered
How they made people into
little green crackers

Have to wonder
What does soylent green taste like?
Is it like chicken?

What a shit future
Nothing to eat but crackers
they need recipes

HandsomeStan said...

"Always in motion
The future is." Jeez, Yoda.
That crap don't give me.

Johnny Sweatpants said...

50 years from now
Middle East - giant crater
Thanks to religion

More technology
Makes mass murder easier
A matter of time

Two different people
With a claim to the same land
Why can't they just share?

'Cuz their holy books
Give divine entitlement
They're doing "God's work"

Only if we shed
This "faith is a virtue" crap
Will humans survive

HandsomeStan said...

Actually three
Jews, Jesus, and Islam guys
One city. SO fun!

Another city
Would solve problems immensely
Islam, take Cleveland

Future should lead to
The Death of Faith. But it won't.
People get dumber.

Octopunk said...

Times get worse. More fear
Which is easy to exploit
Man! Bummer haikus

Octopunk said...

Damn holo pornstar
Frakker's on the fritz again
Damn Mickey Mouse head

Dana's Brain said...

Forget flying cars
Don't care about cyborg parts
Beam me UP, Scotty!

Octopunk said...

Transporter mishap
Won me a big lawsuit, but
Damn Mickey Mouse head

HandsomeStan said...

That holo pornstar one is straight out of the back page of Wired. Genius.

Here's news: from above
Cities look like computers
And we become them

HandsomeStan said...

"Frakker's on the fritz" - that's some seriously frakking GREAT stuff!

Death Star, Battlestar
All in our past. Our future?
Not as cool as that

HandsomeStan said...

What will solve problems
Is that Mr. Fusion thing
Garbage as our fuel

Fuck recycling
Garbage will overwhelm us
Wall-E had it right

AC said...

the year three thousand
white mice rule the universe
doug adams was right

AC said...

nuclear fallout
earth a desolate wasteland
yet keith richards lives

AC said...

who knew that "watchmen"
would spark the next fashion craze?
blue cocks the new black

AC said...

orwell and huxley
were never THIS dystopic:
palin president!

AC said...

the suicide note
will be pinned to hanging corpse:
"my name's not gretchen"

AC said...

anthropologist
sifts through techno-artifacts
what's this "horrorthon"?

Catfreeek said...

AC that suicide Gretchen one is hilarious!

AC said...

hope there's a future
in which i forget sweatpants'
sack is called "tweety"

AC said...

thanks catfreeek!

AC said...

can't wait for next LOST
stop yelling, i'm on topic:
next week's in future.

HandsomeStan said...

Optimus said it
We all just need to listen:
"Until all are one"

All minds converging
Shared collective consciousness
Blue states will be first

Johnny Sweatpants said...

AC came on strong at the end! Love the Gretchen one and I was pleased to see good old "Tweety" getting a mention.

Handsome Stan I love the Cities look like computers and we become them one!