Thursday, May 07, 2009

And the winner is...

As I left work at 4pm yesterday there were only 8 comments on my Haiku post and I was prepared to go home and put the barrel of a shotgun in my mouth. Alas, the Horrorthonners came through with a terrific array of comic strip musings capturing the spirit of what I was going for when I originally chose the topic. Most comic strips are horrible, as you guys elegantly pointed out, but for some reason when I have a page of them in front of me I’ll read every last one of them. Perhaps this is due to the nostalgia I experience when I comb through these mostly dumb gags or perhaps, and more likely the case, at the end of the day I’m kind of simple. I enjoyed everyone’s contributions. This is a rich topic and I hope we revisit it again in the future.

Catfreek perfectly captures my sentiments about Andy Capp with

What's with Andy Capp?
His wife an abusive bitch
No wonder he drank

And AC nailed it when she wrote,

I don't even read
the Sunday "funnies" these days.
Why? They're not funny.

Octo poked his head in and pointed out the dysthymia of Peanuts,

I love Peanuts, but
Chuck's relentless misery
Equals Columbine

50P was barely present but he nailed it with this,

Let's make a comic
Like Snoopy but with no funny
call it "Fred Basset"

I love this little ditty from Dana’s Brain,

Wanna know the truth?
When I do read the comics,
Good/Bad - I read them.

I do too Dana’s Brain!

Now it gets tough. Both JSP and Handsomestan kicked ass on this topic! We appear to be on the same wavelength when it comes to the comic strip.
This sequence perfectly expresses the state of today’s comics,
Bought a newspaper
Hoping for inspiration
Terrible idea

"The Fusco Brothers"
Never heard of it before
Never will again

"Bizarro", what's this?
Sure it's pretty f'in weird
But I'm not smiling

Head's up - "Sally Forth"!
I dare say made me chuckle
A pleasant surprise?

"Dennis the Menace"
Says some unfunny bullshit
And nobody laughs

'Fraid not "Doonesbury"
Neither funny nor clever
You've wasted my time

Bordering on criminal
"The Knight's Life", is it?

Sigh, "Rhymes With Orange"
Useless, brainless, awful tripe
(No third line needed)

At the end of the day I had to go with Handsomestan, who nailed it with these,

ProJo horrible
Each strip written by machine
I see dead comics

If I get injured
Don't send Rex Morgan my way
I'll die of boredom

I've never liked dogs -
Smelly beasts. My worst nightmare?
Owning Marmaduke

My worst nightmare too, Stan!

Regarding Red and Rover I couldn’t agree more!

Stupid charming dog
Oh, the kid can hear your thoughts?
Makes me want to puke

Nancy and Sluggo

Two VERY ugly children
I can't sympathize
Congrats, Handsomestan!

MIA – MIKO and Landshark, what happened to you guys?


Catfreeek said...

Congrats Handsome Stan, that Nancy & Sluggo bit nearly made me spew water when I read it. You hit that right on the head.

HandsomeStan said...

Good grief! Gee whillikers! Word balloon with just an exclamation point!

Well, this is just awesome. I figured I'd be a little rusty after a couple weeks AWOL. Thanks, JPX! I thought all of yours were hilarious, including your New Year's resolution.

The Nancy and Orphan Annie ones came in a flash, and I was most proud of them. Some of my favs from the day:

Octo -

Elephant, phone booth
His leg's now a wastebasket
Who's he talking to?

Family Suck-Ass
Lame invisible "Not Me"
Call the Ghostbusters

(Octo had the twin feats of explaining a Far Side cartoon in haiku form while being as funny as the original cartoon PLUS taking the Family Circus down.)

Cat -

Far Side is all gone
Bloom County flew away too
All the good ones leave

(Truer words were never spoken. I was trying to come up with more about Bloom County, as it's one of my all-time favorites, but I'm glad you represented.)

And JSP, I haven't forgotten this:

Handsome Stan's a jerk
He disappeared suddenly
And he's not handsome

I can't wait for next week! I think I already have my topic...

AC said...

congratulations handsome stan!

Johnny Sweatpants said...

Hysterical output Handsome Stan. The Rex Morgan one was quite the showstopper.

HandsomeStan said...

Glad you liked it. I thought the "Daddy Warbucks buying Annie pupils" would KILL. Shows what I know.

Landshark said...

What's with slamming Doonesbury though? That's still some quality funny shit fairly often!

Johnny Sweatpants said...

I was dissing the particular Doonesbury in the paper I was reading, not the comic strip itself...