Wednesday, July 22, 2009

Haiku Hump Day: Horror Movies!

That's right! Our very raison d' blog swings back into the spotlight like a severed head on a rope. It may seem like thinking outside the box, but in fact it's thinking in the exact center of the box.

Think of it as fresh as any new haiku topic. All icons and facets are fair game, no matter how much discussion has gone before. Re-acquaint yourself with some old familiar faces!

Are they ever coming out? I'm getting wet out here.

Be they slashers,

This bit of popcorn in my teeth is driving me nuts!

fancy slashers,

They're coming to get you, Barbara! Oops, I mean I'M coming to get you!

those living dead zombie types so popular with the kids,

Man! I'm really creepy.

things that hail from Satanic realms,

Honey, I found out what's been clogging the drain!

things that hail from realms far murkier,

I have SUCH an ice cream headache right now

and monsters! Monsters in all their myriad forms.

I get the guy in the carrot costume!

Yes, ALL their myriad forms.

Those things and all the other scary things I left out. I know that you folks, of all folks, get the idea. Mix it up, my horror homies!


Octopunk said...

Nice night, just got laid
Good to be Kevin Bacon
Arrow in your throat!

50PageMcGee said...

the carrot gag is delightful.

Image of two girls
Blue dresses, savage ax wounds
Seared my childhood brain

Pet Sematary
Sister Zelda's twisted form
Haunted my worst dreams

50PageMcGee said...

Stabbed mom with trowel
That's how zombies roll sometimes
Just wasn't hungry

"They're coming for you!"
And they got her, in the end
But they got him first

50PageMcGee said...

Guy just wanted love
Needles under fingernails
"Kiri, kiri." [brrrr!]

50PageMcGee said...

Waddling menace
Rhymes drive me fuckin bonkers
Leprechaun A-hole

Short film idea:
Octo, age twelve, stabbed in bed
Zuni Warrior!!!!

Commander Koenig
Monster Hallucinations
He had too much "A"

Catfreeek said...

Horror Obsession
started at very young age
with creature Feature

Snuck into Carrie
Woke so scared, hand grabbing me
and couldn't tell Mom

Drive-in with parents
Silently watched the wrong screen
Phantasm nightmares

One thing that I learned
Zombies are much scarier
when in black and white

JPX said...

Horror 101
You don't go in the basement
It's just that simple

I'm not being stalked
But my basement still scares me
It's pitch black down there

More horror basics
You don't go in the attic
Junk and ghosts live there

Catfreeek said...

Black & white treasures
Found airing on UHF
Fed my obsession

The Spiral Staircase
Helena looks in the mirror
Aaaahhh! she has no mouth!

Brain that Wouldn't Die
Driving too fast, car crashes
Aaaahhh! A talking head!

Carnival of Souls
Like tripping on LSD
Aaaahhh! Freakin' me out!

Johnny Sweatpants said...

Must find missing girl
What's with all the penises?
This island is weird

Sgt. Howie failed
Had he given in to lust
He'd still be alive

Johnny Sweatpants said...

Is the mall secure?
Great, I'll be in the arcade
You deal with zombies

Johnny Sweatpants said...

Freddy V. Jason
Neither of them can be killed
What the hell's the point?

Werewolves are deadly
Unless it's Michael J Fox
Then they're just plain gay

AC said...

mr. ac played
a zombie in "crawdaddies"
his line: "shred the flesh"

Catfreeek said...

Most disturbing film
"Freaks", all real, can't look away
Gooble, gobble this!

AC said...

silence of the lambs
it's scary because it's true:
your shrink will eat you.

Catfreeek said...

Just when I was bored
Foreign horror rescued me
Ils, Ju-on, Inside

I'm a true addict
After 110 flicks
Still watch two a week

Johnny Sweatpants said...

Horrorthon '09
It's not too early to plan
What will my theme be?

Catfreeek better chill
Give the rest of us a chance
Or I'll break her legs

Johnny Sweatpants said...

When it's said and done
What's the scariest of all?
Hostel 2 for me

Torture factory...
Obscene, the very concept
The whole world is fucked

Catfreeek said...

Scariest of all
For women, must be "Inside"
psycho baby thief!

Horror props are great
Phantasm ball, Freddie's glove
and Hellraiser Box

Not scared JSP
You know I can beat you up
I'll break your damn legs

First film '09 thon
my DVD "Homebodies"
Eat that JSP

Johnny Sweatpants said...

Butt paranoia
Fat man makes guy walk the ledge
A gnome on the loose

Johnny Sweatpants said...

Flyboy got cocky
"Got this by the ass!" said he
Zombies mauled his ass

Johnny Sweatpants said...

Elaborate deaths
Strange, piercing, neon blue light
Must be Argento

Johnny Sweatpants said...

You must kill the boy
How could you ask that of me?
Dumbass - HE'S SATAN

Johnny Sweatpants said...

Slither was good but...
Shoulda called military
What? I'm just sayin'

JPX said...

Halloween scared me
Watched it when I was 10
Yep, liberal parents

Salem's Lot scared me
Watched it when I was 10
Bad babysitter

The Ring scared me
Watched it in 2002
Watched it by myself

Johnny Sweatpants said...

Granddad always said
"When there's no more room in Hell
Dead will walk the earth"

The one big question
Romero movies oft pose
Will the black guy live?

Slow zombies or fast?
Doesn't matter much to me
Long as they're nasty

JPX said...

Everyone knows this,
Horror died in the 80s
When Freddy wore specs

Jason franchise died
When Jason took Manhattan
He didn't take it

Halloween jumped shark
When cowboy in black showed up
What the hell was that?

JPX said...

It still bothers me
I was all set to win 'thon
Catfreeek stole the show

I thought I had won
One-hundred and seven films
Yet she still beat me

I mean, what the hell?
I took several days off work
She still kicked my ass

She's a crazy chick
Lives, breathes, eats horror movies
She's my new hero

My only solace
She watched some pretty bad films
Head in microwave?

AC said...

(these are by mr. ac):

cotton-candy wrapped
fresh corpses fill the hallways
damn those killer klowns

i feel so sleepy
is that a pod in my tub?
i'll check tomorrow

Catfreeek said...

JPX set pace
JSP pushed me to it
I had to beat him

Just a pawn I was
on JSP own chess set
and I got sucked in

Almost slowed it down
after Alister freak out
but I bounced back in

This year I just know
JPX is preparing
It will be brutal

I must warn you though
my Netflix queue is quite full
armed and dangerous

AC said...

blair witch spoiled basements
i made poor mr. ac
do laundry for months

great movie, the ring.
watched it just a week ago;
glad it wasn't AAAARGH!

JPX said...

I want a picture
of zombie Mr. AC
I would treasure it

AC said...

me too jpx!
"crawdaddies" never released
nor are there photos :(

Catfreeek said...

Blair Witch basement ruined
Stand in corner punishment
Just gives me the creeps

Catfreeek said...

Horror Haiku day
must talk about Exorcist
scared crap out of all

Green puking, spun head
Sex with a cross, bouncing bed
what's not to love, eh

Creepy little girl
Ruined Linda Blair's career
Too scared to hire her

Catfreeek said...

My favorite lady
Bette Davis/Baby Jane
Now she was scary

HandsomeStan said...

This is my boom stick
Evil Deads to Spiderman
Solid resume

Strangest dialogue:
"We got this thing by the ass."
Is that a good thing?

Ballsiest stuntman:
Willingly stood up into
Helicopter blades