Thursday, July 23, 2009

Haiku Hump Results: Fifty brings the "A"

Thanks for your patience. The winner is 50PageMcGee for this one:

Commander Koenig
Monster Hallucinations
He had too much "A"

That joke cracks me up. If you're unfamiliar with this piece of Horrorthonnery, check Jordan's Horrorthon 2006 review of the Space: 1999 two-part episode The Brings of Wonder.

Not only did it crack me up, but none of the lines are broken by punctuation. I find myself breaking up my haikus with commas and question marks and colons all the time, but I think the true poetic form is best when it flooooows.

There are individual 'kus that stuck out, but what was a total success for me was you guys goofing around with this subject matter. I dug the peppy sparring between Catfreeek and The Brothers XPants over CF's smackdown victory last year, and Catfreeek's reminiscences about early horror tooth-cuttings, like watching Phantasm on the other drive-in screen. Classic! You also gave me some good tips for this year, CF; Spiral Staircase sounds good, and I didn't know Homebodies was on dvd!

JPX made me giggle with the Horror 101 "basement/attic" rule, which reminded me of Annie Potts in Ghostbusters saying "well, just don't go in there!" I also liked JPX's "bad babysitter" triptych:

Halloween scared me
Watched it when I was 10
Yep, liberal parents

Salem's Lot scared me
Watched it when I was 10
Bad babysitter

The Ring scared me
Watched it in 2002
Watched it by myself

Like Freeek's story of peering over the back seat at wordless horror, this is another tooth-cutting tale with real pathos. We all have horror movie war stories from when we were kids. JPX evokes the lonely, sad feeling that goes with being scared and brings it forward to those rare moments when we manage to capture it again. Nice. (Although your syllable count is all over the place, dude.)

AC's story of her man's lost zombie movie broke my heart, but my favorite was this one:

silence of the lambs
it's scary because it's true:
your shrink will eat you.

and Mr. AC's

i feel so sleepy
is that a pod in my tub?
i'll check tomorrow

This one by JSP was a serious contender:

Must find missing girl
What's with all the penises?
This island is weird

Your second line echoes the punch of the second line in your winning Wizard of Oz haiku: "By the way, you killed someone." But 50's made me laugh harder.

Thanks, kiddoes! Remember Horrorthon is just a few months away!

And now, at no cost to you, this complete list of our Haiku Subjects So Far (and who thunk 'em up):

Star Wars - Johnny Sweatpants
Christmas - JSP (Octopunk won SW, but forgot cuz of Christmas)
Abandoned Houses - Whirlygirl
Fanboys - JPX
Ninjas - HansomeStan
Superheroes - Octopunk
Zombies - Catfreeek
Original Star Trek - AC
Lord of the Rings - nowandzen
Video Games - HandsomeStan
80s Movies - JPX
Sitcoms - Catfeeek
Saturday Morning TV - Dana's Brain
Action Figures - HandsomeStan
The Future - 50PageMcGee
Heavy Metal - Johnny Sweatpants
Jiggle Television - Chris
Science - 50PageMcGee
Wizard of Oz - Octopunk
Swine Flu - Johnny Sweatpants
The Comic Strip - JPX
Armageddon - HandsomeStan
The Matrix - Octopunk
Guilty Pleasures - AC and Mr. AC
Candy - Dana's Brain
Child Actors - Julie
The Devil - Johnny Sweatpants
Chick Flicks - HandsomeStan
Toys - Catfreeek
Musicals - Dana's Brain
The Simpsons - Johnny Sweatpants
Horror Movies - Octopunk

Thirty-two weeks and counting!


Johnny Sweatpants said...

I loved AC's shrink one too! Thanks for the haiku summary Octopunk! And thanks also for getting me all fired up about horror movies again.

My big question to the panel is - should we pause HHD in October or should we just let it roll?

50PageMcGee said...

whoa, seriously? i totally thought that was going to be a "oh, ha ha! ... next!" largely due to the inside-joke nature of the ku.

but i accept. i've got some ideas brewing for next week. i hope my choice pleases you and stimulates much output.

Johnny Sweatpants said...

Congrats Mr. McGee. Also I wholly support the Zuni Warrior/young Octo short film idea. Still haven't seen that damn movie though!

Catfreeek said...

Congrats 50P you were spewing pure gold this week!

Thanks for the props Octo. Technically "Homebodies" is not available on dvd but you can find it at along with a ton of other old out of print films that are impossible to find. Is JSP ordering it at this moment?

AC said...

congratulations fitty! anyone who can wrassle commander koenig into a haiku deserves to win right out of the gate.

Dana's Brain said...

Congrats to Fitty! I am so sorry I have been out of it the past two weeks. Things just get away from me too easy in the summer.

"Too much A" is indeed an excellent line. I love the inside joke-y aspect!

I also love AC's shrink one - made me laugh out loud!

Great job to all!

Johnny Sweatpants said...

I just reread that Bringers of Wonder review. Absolutely hysterical! I can't believe I haven't watched it yet.