Thursday, July 30, 2009

Haiku Hump Day Results -- We turn our attention to the expert

I liked Octo's presentation last week -- no drama, no big reveal, just BANG, winner. Following in his footsteps, congrats JPX!

I can't stand patients
Who can't modulate anger
I fucking hate them!

This one's special because it's got professional perspective and a personal lunacy all its own. Definitely the funniest and most multilayered of any of this week's haul. I was also rather fond of this:

If I don't like you
I'll say with authority
That you are crazy

Sort of makes me think that when JPX and JSP were watching Friday the 13th III suffering through the "He's Nuts!" guy's bullshit a few years back, JPX must've been sitting in his seat thinking, "Please *please* let me get this guy as a patient. Nobody will ever hear from him again." Also, let's all note that now both brothers have aired their grievances towards their exes in ku form.

In graduate school
Most of the students were nuts
Yep, I married one

Catfreek was first runner up with this one...

Nobody loves me
Think I'll have a shooting spree
Why don't they like me

followed by this late entry from Octo...

These damn Rorschach tests
They all look like dead puppies
Man am I depressed

And lastly, I liked these two entries by JSP and Dana's Brain for their brazen insensitivity (Dana's quoted from dad...)

Single male seeks one
Sex addicted psycho chick
We can make it work

My Dad's school of thought,
"Sad? Pull yourself up by your
boot straps! Horse's Ass!"

On a final note, I used Bing to find all the photos for this week's HHD post and I'm using it for all of my thon posts from now on (except now that i have a mac and can use screen capture, I won't have to go dumpster diving for good screenshots this October). Special note of thanks to my friend Zippercut for turning me on to the site.

By the way, if you've got some spare time go check out her fashion blog. She wins my award for best photo library. I was hoping to find a picture of a straightjacket on there somewhere and it took me forever to find one, but she did not disappoint me.

I really liked the flash animation on the front page. I spent some time trying to get the girls on the loveseat to look at each others' boobs, but it looks like their focus is at some fixed point a few feet away. [sigh]


50PageMcGee said...

i'm surprised you don't free associate "big bully" with "to leave a voice message, press one, or just wait for the tone. to send a numeric page, press two now."

Catfreeek said...

Congrats JPX, I knew this was your day.

Thanks for the runner up spot 50P.
Nice sites btw :)

AC said...

congratulations jpx!

JPX said...

Thank you, thank you, 50P, you chose wisely (i.e., correctly).

Dana's Brain said...

That was my favorite by far as well! Great job, JPX! Jerk!

HandsomeStan said...

Oh, goodness how it pained me to miss this day of 'kus. I agree that JPX had everyone laid out on the couch.

And don't think for a second, JSP, that I didn't catch your drift with the narcissism "handsome" haiku.

It was moving day! I had no internet! I'm not crazy!

And Handsome Stan the character is NOT attractive - That's the point!

Julie said...

It is? I never knew that.

Congratulations, JPX! You were indeed on fire yesterday. In addition to the winning one, I liked the advice "to date hotter girls" for erectile dysfunction, the two dark & dreadful haikus about strippers, and this one:

Thorazine works well
It replaced lobotomies
And stopped the headaches

Fucking awesome. You jerk.

Johnny Sweatpants said...

Just keeping you on your toes Stan.

Congrats JPX, you freakin' owned the top 5 this week. I was bowled over.