Thursday, October 24, 2013

Mirrors 2

 2010  **1/2

Or as I like to call it, "Meh"-rors 2.

Hello?  Is this thing on?

(Spoilers ahead, but you don't care.)

A frumpy-looking Nick Stahl gets a night watchman job in his dad's department store, which is another in the same chain as the burned-out one in NYC with the evil mirrors, a fact they're so proud of they import one of the same mirrors to display in their foyer.  Things start out grisly when the previous night watchman watches his reflection smile at him and eat some glass.  It's a nasty version of the Mirrors shtick but I found myself wondering (as one does) what I would do differently, and I think I wouldn't stick around to watch like this guy does.  Like maybe I could run out of range?  Worth trying.

I liked the background reveal in the first Mirrors, but the sequel plays as a boilerplate Vengeful Ghost story, pretty much in the Asian horror vein but with mirror-based methodology.  Since Nicky had a near-death experience recently, he's the guy who gets to see the honked-off haunter hottie in the mirrors in the company break room.  Like the evil nasties in the first one, this ghost's dogged commitment to her agenda is paired with terrible communication skills.  She's trying to get Nick to unravel her mystery, but it's like all she can do is kill someone or let him know that she's about to kill someone.  Why not grab a mirror pen and write a note?

 "I'm a zit!  Get it?  Oh wait I did it wrong."

Believe it or not, this looks sillier in motion, and her expression there reads as entitled annoyance more than mortal terror.  This premonition premonimates the main death/gore set piece of the movie, the lengthy shower scene ending with blood on white tile.  I bring it up to bitch on two fronts.

Firstly, the death is more a function of terrible luck than mirror powers.  The victim exits the shower, is startled by her reflection glaring at her, then her reflection pounds her hands on the mirror like she's trying to pounce.  Scary, to be sure, but the subsequent immobilizing and then lethal accident is a miracle of directed glass breakage.  

And the slide whistle was in really bad taste.

Secondly, Christy Romano has a long nude scene here, and like always I was disheartened by seeing a beautiful woman who felt at one point that she needed to get fake boobs.   I tried a few more sophisticated drafts of my point, but it's this:  I like nudity and boobs, but I don't like fake boobs, especially when they're out of place on a tall, slender frame like Christy Romano's.  I probably shouldn't have said "I bring it up to bitch on two fronts" up there.

Mirrors 2 has some likeable characters and a few notable horror moments, and it's not necessarily a complete waste of your time.  I can't give it three stars, however, because I gave Mirrors three stars and this just isn't as good.  And "not as good as Mirrors" is a perfect descriptor for the densely populated cinematic purgatory where this film resides.


Catfreeek said...

Funny review, I guess this is one to add to the pile of substandard sequels. What happened to the good old days where they wrapped it up in one film so the was no need to make a follow up?

AC said...

back in the good ol' days we used to add points for boobs... not in this case, clearly.

JPX said...

Mirrors is an odd choice to make a sequel from - was the first a direct-to-video? There seems to be a sub-genre of direct-to-video horror movies that are "just good enough" and always seem to contain gratuitous nudity.

I felt the same way about the original Mirrors and I have not seen this sequel. Your observations are hilarious as always, in particular your point about escaping death simply by walking away from the mirror.

Mirrors was based on a Korean film:

From Wiki, "Into the Mirror (Hangul: 거울 속으로) is a 2003 South Korean horror film about a series of grisly deaths in a department store, all involving mirrors, and the troubled detective who investigates them."

I think this means you should watch it!

JPX said...

The poster is unintentionally hilarious,

Octopunk said...

Ha! Not scary upside down face. Try the trailer instead (and how come everyone forgot how to hyperlink?).

I wanted to watch the original but I couldn't get it from my two sources (Netflix and my local arcane video store). I'm sure it's online somewhere but I don't really like watching flicks on my computer.

Catfreeek said...

That poster is hilarious, the guy in the foreground is like, oh my gawd I farted and I think I killed that guy in the mirror.

Trevor said...

Great review - I gave it a similar rating and also commented on the extended shower scene. I don't think I was as critical of the breasts though.