Monday, October 02, 2006

Chiller

(1985) *1/2

A rich jerk has been cryogenically preserved for 10 years. His human-popsicle babysitters have been instructed to revive him when science advances enough to restore his health. Unfortunately a computer malfunction compromises the integrity of his cryogenic chamber and he is revived prematurely. Although his revival appears to be a success, what emerges is not the nice guy we are led to believe he used to be, but rather a soulless asshole with homicidal tendencies. Initially these new personality qualities serve him well. As the head of a company his father started, his all-business persona beings to make a profit for the company after he cuts out altruistic charity donations and fires his father’s best friend and co-founder of the company in favor of avarice. Avarice and narcissism eventually lead to physical abuse and murder.

If I ever express the urge to watch a film by Wes Craven you all have permission to slap me like a small business owner who hasn’t paid his weekly “protection” money. This craptacular effort, like most of Craven’s efforts was a predictable as a Road Runner cartoon and as enjoyable as a hemorrhoid. This made-for-TV "movie" was my second choice for Horrorthon and my horror movie spirit was quickly becoming squashed like a bug under a Nike.

2 comments:

Octopunk said...

After Snowbeast, I think I'm going to avoid "made for TV" for a bit. Add that to "Wes Craven" and I might just convert to Amish so I can't watch movies anymore.

Johnny Sweatpants said...

I know, Wes Craven is a menace to the genre I love. The amount of sucky movies he's had his hand in is staggering.

Malevolent

 2018  ***1/2 It's 1986 for some reason, and a team of paranormal investigators are making a big name for themselves all over Scotland. ...