Fear of Clowns

(2004) **1/2

A few weeks ago I spotted this title on the shelf at the video store. This is one of those straight-to-video offerings that is actually shot on video, stars some people the director knows and is set at the various houses of the cast and crew. In other words, it's totally silly crap. Nevertheless, by the power of that bizarre Horrorthon alchemy I had more fun watching this one than I did the previous three.

Our heroine is an artist who paints scary clown pictures, which are well-received in "the best art gallery in Baltimore." The night she returns home from her opening, right outside her window appears Shivers the Clown. She faints, he vanishes. Later when the cops are there we get lots of fun play with the word "clown." First the cops treat her like she said she saw pixies or Roger Rabbit out her window instead of a completely real-world possibility. When asked if the assailant was caucasian, she says indignantly "he was a clown."

If her reaction is making you scratch your head, join the club. You noticed it, right? The clown never wears a shirt. He's got the goofy pants and the facepaint and even the collar and cuffs, but no shirt. This is easily the most unnerving part of the movie, made all the moreso by the fact that nobody ever mentions it. He's not just a clown, he's a big hunky sex clown. Somehow he manages to sneak around in broad daylight like this and never get spotted until it's too late. He starts a somewhat random murder campaign centered on our beleagured artist. First, in a scene we never see, he takes out a whole family down the street. Later on he decapitates the artist's police protection right in her front yard, and then wanders off. His weapon of choice is a big goofy axe the director bought at a Renaissance festival. Despite all this hackery, I'll grudgingly admit the clown is kind of effectively spooky. But then again, he's a clown.

This is an amateurish hodge-podge of stiffly delivered lines, occasionaly scenery chewing, whatever-was-available settings, and one creepy clown. I can't in good faith recommend it exactly, but I had a good time.