(1973) I’mnotMarc: *****
I’mnotMarc’s Mom: ZERO STARS
Here’s a movie that’s been reviewed by the ‘thonners repeatedly. You can check out the Horrorthon Monster List for all the links. There's plenty of plot summary in those. There really isn’t much more I’d have to add except to point out if you’re going to watch the Wicker Man, make sure you don’t watch it with my mom.
I mean other than that she just didn’t like the movie, (sample quotes, “What the hell kind of movie is this?” also, “I can’t believe it made it to the theaters in this form.”) having mom in the room ruined the Britt Ekland dance scene for me.
First time I saw it alone, I must have played that scene 10-15 times before bothering to move on to the rest of the movie. And when the movie was over, I immediately went back and watched Britt dance another 15 times.
This time, an instant before the scene started I thought, "this was a huge mistake." A sad sense of ickiness set upon me as Britt started to swivel her naked hips. I looked over at mom, whose face was contorted in a bitter sneer, like someone had just made her chew on a pair of Excedrin. Then I looked back at the screen, my mouth suddenly dry with shame. I thought about jumping up in front of the screen and suggesting we go play a board game instead, but I waited out those 3 agonizing minutes and tried to enjoy the rest of the movie.
Short summary of the movie is that Sgt. Howie flies alone to an island in the Hebrides to investigate a missing girl case. He stumbles around the island, shocked at the islanders' pagan sexual freedom. He responds to it by acting so puritanical and ungracious, you're actually kind of hoping someone gets around to killing him eventually.
The Wicker Man is one of the most masterful examples in horror history of build-up and suspense and has been cited as one of the examples of a five-star horror movie on the Horrorthon Rating Scale-- it's actually first on the list. It deserves all the praise it gets, although obviously none of it is coming from my mom.
4 comments:
Oh God thank you for adding some laughs to my day!
Hilarious.
Hilarious, I burst out laughing when I read this too.
On a side note, that's not actually Brit Ekland's ass. She actually refused to reveal her behind (she was fine with the breasts though) and they were forced to use a stunt-ass for those wall banging shots.
Stunt-ass!
Dude, this is a riot. Talk about a Horrorthon challenge.
i did a bit of rewriting on this, so that's why it has my new handle as the publisher, even though it came out of the I'mnotmarc days.
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