Thursday, February 26, 2009

Haiku Hump Day Results!

I now know how this "undecided voter" feels

Wow! It’s now time to sift through haiku gold and pick this week’s winner, never an easy task. For the first part of the day I thought my topic bombed and I nervously pleaded with a few of you to write some haikus so I didn’t look like a total tool. But as the day wore on people brought their A-game. My greatest disappointment was that we didn’t get any haikus from DCD or Whirlygirl. Part of why I chose this topic is that I was hoping to see their take on films like Footloose, Fame, and Dirty Dancing.

Where was Dana's Brain?

Where was Whirlygirl?

Good lord, so who won? Here are my favorites,

For reason’s I’ve long forgotten, AC and I have talked about Xanadu for years. I don’t know how the discussion ever began but we’re both obsessed with making fun of this so-bad-it’s-wonderful film. I was particularly tickled by this set,

olivia, cute
as a button, not much of
an actress, can skate.

gene kelly: handsome,
athletic, charming, graceful.
needed cash badly?

the male lead was so
forgettable. could look him
up, but won't bother

ELO theme is
stuck in my head, now yours too:

Handsomestan made me laugh with his Karate Kid haikus, especially because I recently painted my living room while watching all 4 of the films in a row,

Mercy for the weak
A grown man trains teenage thugs
A wuss beats them all

A kick to the face
Totally illegal move
Why did Daniel win?

Most unlikely pair
Ever in the universe
Daniel and Ali

It’s also because of Stan’s Breakin’ haikus that I stayed up way too late last night watching a delightful double feature of Breakin’ and Breakin’ 2: Electric Boogaloo (this is must see awfulness, Horrorthonners!)

Loved Chris’

Know Trading Places?
Dan A. and Eddie, good pair.
Jamie Lee, great pair.

Nowandzen made me chuckle with this little Karate Kid bit,

Wax on Wax on yes
For Karate Kid sequels
There is no defense

I liked Octopunk’s acknowledgement that Ferris is antisocial yet he still loves him,

I say save Ferris!
Sociopath? I don't care
Shake it up, baby

Landshark hit it on the head when he stated,

C. Thomas Howell?
Everyone else did so well...
Stay gold, Pony Boy.

I liked 50M’s late entries including,

Rourke: quiet, sexy
Dillon: mugging; lunkheaded
Neither was acting

But now it gets tough for me. You see, JSP and I quote Planes, Trains, and Automobiles and Pee-Wee’s Big Adventure on an almost daily basis so I’m obviously biased to go with any of his wonderful haikus about these films including,

Never seen a guy
Picked up by his testicles
But Neil asked for it


Is there something you
Can share with the rest of us
Amazing Larry?

Also, our father is very annoying about action movies and he only enjoys them if the bad guy really gets punished. He’s fond of asking, “Did the bad guy get a pipe in the ass at the end?” which is apparently the kind of justice he needs to see. He loves the early Segal films for this reason and the show 24. He’s incredibly frustrating because he dismisses good stuff when he isn’t satisfied with the bad guy’s death. For example, he didn’t like Dark Knight because the Joker didn’t get a “pipe in the ass” at the end. He stopped watching LOST because Ben never got a “pipe in the ass”, etc. So JSP’s haiku below had me in stitches because of our private joke about our father,

In his perfect world
Bad guys get what they deserve
A pipe up the ass

How JPX envisions Catfreeek's home

At the end of the day I had to go with Catfreek for these 4 haikus. Her reference to Fame perfectly sums up my dislike of musicals,

Must thank the 80's
For Bruce Campbell's chainsaw arm
Bloody fun for all

Singing, dancing dorks
Fame! Want to live forever?
I just wish they'd die

She is a dancer
No silly, she's a welder
Nope, just a stripper

The Fog rolled in town
Sickle bearing ghouls killed all
Adrienne's tits lived

Congrats, Cat!

Excellent work everybody!!! Speaking of work, I should probably do some.


Chris said...

Nice work, Cat! You were hitting it out of the park all day. A well deserved victory, for sure.

AC said...

great topic, great wrap-up.

congrats cat! and great work all round.

jpx/jsp's dad's "pipe up the ass" obsession is a hilarious and disturbing bonus.

Johnny Sweatpants said...

I have no brother.

Catfreeek said...

For the record, that is NOT what my house looks like, but when I saw that picture I laughed so hard I snorted.

The pipe up the ass story is pure gold, hysterical!

Thanks JPX, I thought for sure JSP had it sewed up, he was on fire all day yesterday. Thanks Chris & AC too.

JSP ~ :Þ

nowandzen said...

Good wrap up JPX and congrats Cat. You were on yesterday, you had it coming.

HandsomeStan said...

I would also like to express congratulations to the Freeeek - well done! I felt like it was certainly going to come down to you vs. JSP. Way to beat his ass!

And JPX, thanks for the props and the He-Man picture. And congratulations on the second consecutive 100+ Comment HHD!

No pressure, Catfreeeek :)

JPX said...

Not He-Man, Street Fighter!

Whirlygirl said...

JPX, I'm sorry I was MIA yesterday. you picked an excellent topic and if I had the time I would have attempted to write a few; although, I don't think I'm a very strong haiku writer. I was up to my eyeballs in school work trying to figure out things like whether the client for the fictional legal case I'm researching has grounds for promissory estoppel.

I read through most but not all the haikus and as usual they were fabulous.

JPX, since you can't really mention your own; though, I suppose you could, but it might sound tacky. Anyway, I'll mention a couple of yours that really made me laugh.

Andrew McCarthy
What the hell happened to him?
Oh yeah, Mannequin

Isn't Mannequin
Just a way to justify
Screwing a large doll?

Dana's Brain said...

Well, if anyone bothered to read my blog *ahem* I was at my sister Casey's with NO internet since Wed.

And now I AM crying!! I can't BELIEVE I missed 80's movies...