Someone had to do it eventually right? Oh sure I wanted to do The Watchman or Bladerunner but I wasn't sure how many people could sink their poetic teeth into the lore of those two so I chose something more accessible. This was my trilogy as a youngster as these books gripped me way beyond the other trilogy so haiku we must!
The problem is it feels over exposed right now and I need another 3 years space to really have it take back the place in my heart that it did as a 9 year old who read the series and was filled with wonder. Damn you Peter Jackson!
I still feel it's a worthy haiku hump day subject and should be a fun romp with unending possibilities for haiku mayhem.
Ladies and gentlemen, start your haiku engines....
40 comments:
Hmmm, this is going to be tricky. Confession time; I never read the books and I only saw the films exactly 1 time each (I know, I know).
Spock sang about him
"Ballad of Bilbo Baggins"
So embarrassing
great topic nowandzen.
hobbits save the day
proving once again the phrase
size doesn't matter
my sister-in-law
favors legolas, whereas
i'm all for strider
not geeky at all:
my husband once owned "gandalf"
a pet iguana
LOTR rules
but my fandom has limits
i don't speak elvish.
The movies were awesome
Aragorn, Gandalf, Frodo...
Where's Tom Bombadil?
Epic achievement:
History, geography, lore,
But some leaden prose!
I don't tend to read
Books with a large glossary
I know I'm simple
Kevin Smith is dead wrong...
Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back.
Worst movie of all time?
Fellowship journeys
This is going smooth- oh shit
Here comes the Balrog
Did Sauron ever
Get anything in his Eye?
Mordor is dusty
Seriously though
Fly on eagles back drop ring
Only need one book
Gollum in us all
Seeking after things, now lost
Greed hath turned us green
When they rode horses
Nazgul were scary enough
Now they fly? Oh fuck.
Ring makes you vanish
And turn into an asshole
What's great about that?
Fellowship's first half
So boring! There I said it
That guy loved his maps
(the book, not the movie)
Elven or Vulcan
Full of wisdom, logical
They have the same ears
And now to Sauron
With Mordor AccuWeather:
"It's hot and evil."
"Inflamed bearded dwarf"
The noble Gimli defined.
Describes my junk, too.
Deceitful Gollum.
Hobbit with complications
and a Haggard smile.
Convivial Sam.
"Master," he calls dear Frodo.
Raging Submissive.
Uruk-Hai were clones
But here's a disturbing thought -
Orcs must have had sex
Just an eye, no mouth
That Sauron doesn't say much
He just blinks a lot
Other kids played sports.
I read epic fantasy.
No pussy for me.
Fear me cries Sauron!
You are my slaves forever
Sword chops chops finger
or
Saurons Dark Triumph
Sword takes finger, powerless
No shit, just one finger
Nice crystal ball there
No, it's called a "Palantir."
Yeah, nice crystal ball
Hey let's go fishing
I found this ring in the pond
Now I must kill you
Long, wordy stories
Viggo Mortenson is hot,
I prefer the films
My personal hell
Film won't end, I gotta pee
Frodo you bastard!
I have to admit
Total LOTR geek
Read the books through twice
In my collection
The Tolkien Bestiary
I'm an ubergeek
My advice to you
When facing army of orcs
Bring an ent with you
Did you ever try to read The Silmarillion, The Hobbit, LOTR, and then EVERY Appendix straight through?
I did that and then watched all three 4-hour director's cuts in ONE DAY. That was a fun month of unemployment. My girlfriend started to look like a Hobbit, and I started talking like Gollum.
I couldn't get that all into 17 syllables.
The Ents can party
Giant talking trees that make
Big ass waterslides
give ring to elf queen:
be galadriel's slave boy?
would not mind at all!
handsome stan is killing me today.
chris's "bearded dwarf" was pretty great too.
obviously i meant chris's haiku *about* the bearded dwarf.
where is jsp?
is this topic too geeky
or is he just lame?
liked all three movies
though i could have done without
the bed-hopping scene.
in book or movie
i still cry when theoden
is slain in battle
(heh heh, i said "slain")
I agree, between the "bearded dwarf" and "no pussy," it's a toss-up.
In terms of haikus.
Thanks for the props, Fitty...
"I can carry you!"
That's where I cried. And also,
"You bow to no one."
Seriously, I turn into a fucking puddle. My girlfriend thinks I'm more sensitive because of it.
Monstrous elephants
How'd they NOT win that battle?
Oh, right - ghost pirates!
handsome, i've re-read
hobbit and trilogy oft;
but appendices?!?!?!?
I decided, dammit, I'm just gonna grit my teeth and do it! After you finally wade through them all, you realize that the events of LOTR were like a blip on the radar screen in terms of the history. Sauron? Minor bad guy, considering history. He gets into like 20,000 years of history in there, not counting the Silmarillion, which goes to the dawn of time, near as I can figure.
And apparently the books were all just an excuse to invent the Elvish language. How did he ever have children? Or a woman anywhere near him?
I know the polls might have closed, and I didn't mean to dominate this one unnecessarily, it just happened to fall on another prep day (NOT a shoot day) and the topic is so rich with potential. (For me, anyway.)
My girlfriend offers this guest submission:
Lord of the Rings, eh?
I think I slept through it once
Midgets and stuff, right?
I love this woman.
Stan, I think I love her now too. I found the movies ungodly boring, my wife dragged me to the first two, and I must have smoked half a pack of cigs outside, and STILL had to watch 3 fucking hours, per film...
The books? I made it to the end of Hobbit, but I may have been drunk...
All, sorry for my lack of participation today, but I couldn't get past the first two words..."hairy feet", that's all I got. Couldn't go anywhere from there.
Inspired Zeppelin
The Battle of Evermore
Misty Mountain Hop
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