Uh-oh. Full Gretch rating coming later in the review, as I work this whole thing out almost live.
Due to my effusive review of V: The Mini Series last year, I felt compelled to offer up a fresh, minutes-old review of the V remake pilot, due to my lack of availability to review anything else. Which I feel horrible about.
Anyway, I’m a sucker for alien invasions, as I’ve discussed elsewhere. V-Make runs the standard playbook: shadows creep across buildings, ethnic cross sections turn and gape. There’s some creative “eh-hehhhhh” moments, notably the two teenagers on the TV news broadcast –
TEEN #1: “This is TOTALLY Independence Day! For real!”
TEEN #2: “Independence Day was a ripoff of a number of other, better alien invasion films.”
Referring to the original V, obviously. All true, but too self-referential for this alien nerd. It’s like in Transformers, when one teen yells out, “This is like Armageddon, only 100 times better!” Go fuck yourself, Michael Bay. Stop masturbating in front of a full-length mirror. On the floor.
Of more alarming note is the fact that rather than the nuanced portrayal of the original V alien invasion as an allegory to the Nazi occupation of Poland, this version has decided to thrust itself into relevance with the hot-button topic of “universal health care,” which “The Vs” have promised to the human race in exchange for some vague mineral that exists here “in abundance.” (Porn? Industrial waste?) The fact that the health care phrase comes out of Scott “Party of Five” Wolf’s mouth, as he interviews “Anna” (the face of the aliens), is somewhat disturbing, in terms of the subconscious agenda with the viewers.
Don’t kid yourself. Lightning doesn’t strike twice. This is not your “Lost,” you son of a bitch.
It’s so patently obvious, and more distressingly, so probably patently lost on the viewers, that they might as well have had Obama’s face appear on the bottom of the fucking spaceship, for what they’re getting at. Which is what it seems: the evil lizard alien fuckheads are promising all sorts of hope and change and health care (!) for everyone, and the youth of this country (and the world, presumably) buy straight into it, but there are many skeptical adults (among them a priest, for fuck’s sake) who don’t buy it, and are INSTANTLY ready to form a Resistance. The whole thing reeks of, at best, subtle political agenda, and at worst, subconscious right-wing brainwashing.
SIDEBAR: ABC is owned by Disney, which now owns Marvel and, by extension, a considerably larger, more sinister slice of the media world than they used to. Disney also has a relationship with TBN and the Pat Robertson Network, which manifests itself in the ABC Family channel giving itself over to 700 Club and other deeply distressing programming from time to time. I really don’t care that my personal opinions are flying on a flag with this review – the whole thing makes me very disturbed.
Of special note is the correlation between terrorists and aliens: They’ve apparently been here for years, insinuating themselves into our culture, living as we do, and enjoying otherwise normal lives and relationships with humans. The arrival of the Big Ships is simply their Coming-Out Party. (Read: 9/11 linked to Obama’s inauguration – it’s a stretch, but it’s fucking there.)
Thanks a lot, Obama.
Morris Chestnut and the Sensitive FBI guy are noteworthy, not for their performance, but for the larger implication of what their presence means. (“The Liberals have been among us for years! They look just like us! YOU could be living with a Liberal and not even KNOW IT!!! AHHHH!!!” Or so my subtle editorial might read.)
Directorially, there are some interesting and stimulating visual choices, and the show is quite watchable in its presentation and overall ingestability. Which, inherently, is the very problem. (Boy, this poison soup tastes delicious! And it’s SO well presented! Oh, here, wash it down with some of this Kool-Aid…)
From this broadcast, we seamlessly flowed in to Dancing With The Stars (with Kelly Osbourne and Michael Irvin among other shit-ass, bottom-sucking “celebrities”). This tells you everything you need to know about what ABC thinks of their audience, and how much they expect that audience to analyze and think about the show. Rush is probably a big fan of V.
One angry Gretch. But I’m still going to tune in to see how literal/allegorical they get with this shit, and how much it will end up pissing me off with their explicitness and/or subtlety in the subversive political message that is obviously percolating.
I weep for the future.
[Incidentally, in some late-breaking news in this 2009 (?) election, the Obama-endorsed NJ governor candidate totally just lost. The Pendulum Swings Back. Be afraid. Be very afraid.]
9 comments:
Dude, enough is enough! I live in NYC...you live in NYC. We have to meet up and have a McClane/Al moment (and a drink).
Holy crap, bro - I'm in Hoboken, and my TV show shoots in Secaucus. I thought you lived on a neighboring planet, honestly.
I want more than nothing else to consummate this man-crush Horrorthon relationship that others must be tired of witnessing.
My weekends are wide open, and we will find an appropriate nerd-friendly NY bar to finally meet in person.
And then, be awkwardly disappointed in our inability to live up to our online counterparts.
In al seriousness, it'll be cool, and we'll get some shit goin'!
Love me some HandsomeStannery. You structured some interesting word usements. My faves:
"V-Make runs the standard playbook: shadows creep across buildings, ethnic cross sections turn and gape."
"...some vague mineral that exists here 'in abundance.' (Porn? Industrial waste?)"
I wonder if the conservative leaning has as much to do with trying to be Battlestar Galactica (which started out very right-friendly and then switched) as with regular old conservative leaning.
Is the "100 Armageddons" thing an actual quote from a Transformers flick? Don't remember it in #1, didn't see #2.
Watched a hilarious Daily Show bit on the election today, the usual dose of reality. And the Palin-backed creeptard from NY district 23 lost.
Stan you really are the man! I watched this last night as well and not only did you echo many of the thoughts Tony & I had but filled in some gaps as well. You & Tony need to have a sit down some time, his mind works so much like yours sometimes it scares me. Amazing review, I will hang with you on this series for the time being to see where it goes but I felt angry and sorely disappointed as well.
After watching this crap I turned to Tony and said, "I miss Alien Nation."
Octo, it's a throwaway line from some nameless kid in TF 1 as the robots are landing in meteor form. The only reason it's so prominent in my mind is that I remember thinking the same thing at that very moment.
However, staring at a box of cereal for two hours is also 100 times better than Armageddon.
I dug Armageddon. J. J. Abrams wrote it, remember.
Delightfully outraged review Handsome Stan! You got me so fired up I need to head butt something.
Armageddon was certainly entertaining to a point, however, it's just such an easy target. And I'll go for chuckles on the blog any way I can get 'em.
JSP, I hope you're headbutting things while dressed like your avatar.
Tony loved this review and wanted me to add his comments:
"Disney has it's fat fingers in the Medical Industries pie as well so stands everything to gain from shooting down universal health care. Also, the presentation of the V's all being beautiful on the outside like many have made a point of addressing Obama's good looks. In other words, don't be fooled by his outward appearance, he's a lizard. Great review man."
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