Monday, November 02, 2009

Mark of the Astro-Zombies

(2002) zero stars

At the start of the movie, bad aliens create astro-zombies one at a time, and send them to conquer earth, wielding machetes. At the end of the movie, good aliens intervene, eliminating the astro-zombies as well as their creators. In between, earthlings do silly things like try to solve the astro-zombie problem, make money off the astro-zombie problem, file news reports on the astro-zombie problem, and not run away from the astro-zombies.

Yeah, baby! I had such low hopes for this movie. With the one-star Astro-Zombies (1968) as its wretched predecessor, how good could the sequel really be? As is my habit when hoping for a true bomb, I watched MotA-Z in the grip of nail-biting, white knuckled terror, fearful that an element of quality or competence might creep in; the hint of a good special effect, perhaps; the ghost of a reasonable plot point; a whisper of competent acting. These fears were unrealized and I am proud to report that MotA-Z is my zero-star discovery for Horrorthon 2009.

4 comments:

Catfreeek said...

AC you really have suffered through some tough ones this year.

Johnny Sweatpants said...

I like that you were worried about finding a "hint of a good special effect".

HandsomeStan said...

It's like when people got pissed at the Miami Dolphins two years ago when they actually won one of their final games, instead of having a "perfect" winless season. (For all of you hardcore football fans on this blog)

I'd like to see what the representative from Bwangabwanga had in terms of dialogue. Surely THAT must have been fascinating.

That name sounds like something Octo would make up, to hilarious effect.

Octopunk said...

Thanks, Stan. I think I have a crush on this terrible movie, just for the terms "Astro-Zombies" and "Bwangabwanga."

Great review AC!

Malevolent

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