That's right. We all do it, even though we know it's probably bad for us. 
Sometimes it's a stresser,
sometimes it's the bees knees.
Sometimes it's the worst possible thing you could imagine.
Maybe you don't drive, and ride a bike instead. That's still relevant.
Maybe you had a noteworthy first car.
Maybe you can explain what's going on here.
Those of you who have experienced driving in Rhode Island or Massachusetts may have stories of particular interest.No limit on complaints about people who don't use turn signals.
Seventeen syllables or less.* Go!
(*Actually no, not less.)
47 comments:
I drive in LA
Turn signals ignored daily
The rage never stops
Time wasted waiting
It turns out you were turning
Why dint you tell me?
Left lane slow driver
won't move it so I can pass
Must be a Masshole
Nice cruise on highway
til a jerk spots his exit
zips across 4 lanes
My neighbor can't drive
takes her three tries to pull in
to her own driveway
The Rhode Island 'drift'
We don't merge into traffic
We nudge our way in
I hate pickup trucks
Giant beasts on my bumper
Tea Party sticker
Old people driving
don't even get me started
like watching "Death Race"
Old people driving
Why don't they take the RIde bus
wait, they drive the RIde
Old people driving
You're on the wrong side Grandma!
What country is this?
Old people driving
Steady speed of 25
they're on the highway
Old people driving
Huge cars like tanks of terror
driven by the blind
Old people driving
Swerving, is that person drunk?
Nope, just a Q-tip
Pickup truck owners
Share some characteristics
Yep, Republican
Let's see, U.S. flag
A pro-life bumper sticker
It's a pickup truck
A dangling cross
A McCain/Palin sticker
Guess what? Pickup truck!
If you value life
Don't get in Whirlygirl's car
A cat with no lives
*ring, ring* Me: "Hello?"
"My car is having problems"
Whirlygirl lament
Dear plow truck driver
do you have to be so rude?
License to be jerk!
Modern woman: Text
apply make-up, drink coffee
while driving to work
You've got a great CAR
Yeah, what's wrong with it today?
Well, sucks to be you
Tony fixes cars
so his car is always broke
mechanics lament
Age of rude drivers
Stop line? Who cares! Yellow light?
Punch it and race through!
Turn signal? What's that?
Yield sign? You must be kidding!
There are no road rules.
You know what irks me
Drivers with dogs on their lap
it's not fucking cute!
Didn't see you there
Dogs drool clouded the mirror
so sorry your dead
Octo once got mad
He punched his windshield, it broke
Later on we laughed
Once rode with Octo
He went right through a stop sign
Cop pulled him over
Once rode with Octo
He crashed DCD's Honda
See a pattern here?
He once rear-ended
Another car on a bridge
There's a pattern here
So what's the lesson?
Don't get in a car with him
If you value life
Moral of "Thinner"
Never get BJ in car
with Gypsies in town
Paul's first drive lesson
Knocks mirror off a parked car
Instructor, "Just go!"
moral of "garp" too
never get bj in car
bad things will happen
Bad car BJ three
"Curb Your Enthusiasm"
Do we spot a trend?
I hate dealerships
I go to get oil changed
They "recommend" things
"You tires are bald"
"You need new tires", they say
"Only six-hundred"
They come up with more
"You need a new air filter"
"Just 100 bucks"
"How about some wipers"
"With labor only fifty"
"We can do it now"
"Transmission fluid,
is beginning to break down,
We'll change it for you"
I just stare at him,
Finally I say, No thank you,
Just change the oil"
That was months ago,
Car is running perfectly
I hate dealerships
They cannot fly yet
They cannot talk to me yet
That is why I cry
Cruise control, radar
Auto-braking, voice commands
We're so goddamned close
Road trip to RI
I say, "Engage Smart-Drive, Kitt."
Crack open road beer
In the dead of night
Rolling car out of driveway
Pre-license joy ride
'80 Ford Escort
Reverse donuts, tires smoke
Burned out the engine
Bored suburban teens
Smoke up and take random turns
Getting lost is fun
Cold lizard in car
"Must get him back to hot rock"
Cop was unimpressed
Next millennium
"gear heads" will use cold fusion
to soup up their cars
Block intersection
Wait for the yellow -- or red
Left turns in LA
Nice Dandy Warhols reference Octo!
To drive in Boston
You must find your inner rage
It’s about revenge
A car passes you?
That’s a war declaration
This must be answered
California rules:
Do whatever you feel like
As long as you wave
I can see myself
Buying a motorcycle
And then crashing it
Driving in Japan
Just keep up with the traffic
and avoid mopeds
MA drivers suck
i just take the T most days
escape the ordeal
MA drivers suck
i've arranged my work schedule
to avoid rush hour
MA drivers suck
plus we have these rotaries
icing on the cake
Driving in R.I.
can be some risky business
most are uninsured
I just don't get it
with modern technology
can't they track this stuff
Half this states' drivers
are unlicensed illegals
hit you and your fucked
AAF Boston
Would have old driver alerts
so hilarious
I saw an old gal
try to turn left on a bridge
slammed into the wall
There’s a special place
In Hell for people who honk
Their horns in traffic
Drove by a school bus
Some of the kids flipped me off
It made me depressed
Deep family shame
JPX can’t drive a stick
He refused to learn
It's my SECRET shame
Many have tried to teach me
I just can't drive shift
Outing your brother
and from a guy with no car
for shame JSP
Drove by a school bus
Some of the kids flipped me off
So I rammed the bus
Drove by a school bus
Some kids were waving to me
so I flipped them off
Where to, Miss Daisy?
How 'bout I take your white ass
Straight through the ghetto?
Drove by a school bus
Introduced them to my ass
This haiku is true
Bad driver: My mom
Her feet just reach the pedals
and her vision sucks
Sometimes in traffic
I imagine my headlights
Are really lasers
NYC drivers
Aggressive but capable
I like to drive there
Drivers in Boston
are aggressive and stupid
I hate driving there
Highway mathematics
Take the posted speed limit
And add nine to it
Just spoke to Whirly
Her car is being looked at
Making a strange sound
Car seats absorb farts
But they release the odor
Unpredictably
Drove to work today
Salt coated windshield, and then
wiper fluid died
Mrs. AC laughs
When I play Grand Theft Auto
I can't drive for shit
Best job that I had
Driving taxi in Japan
Drunk sailor transport
Paid to spend the night
driving and talking with folks
you can learn alot
Drunk guys gave good tips
but sometimes showed their penis
a small price to pay
Lame bumper stickers.
Please, people! Just shows the rest
of us - You're stupid.
"Coexist" sticker.
Yeah, you're "religious message"
Ain't changin' no one!
Stopped at a red light.
Hmm. Coexist. Coexist.
I see the light!! NOT.
Worse yet! We saw a
silver ball sac hanging from
a pick-up truck's hitch.
Swaying back and forth,
back and forth. Desroc and I
COULD NOT believe it!
I prefer to drive.
It's not that I don't trust you...
Oh wait, yes it is.
Some may disagree,
But fact of it is, I'm the
best driver I know.
Daily ride to work
route one-fourteen. My very
own Nascar racetrack.
Inside my head I'm
always racing. I guess I'm
my Dad's own saying!
Don't get me started
on road rage. Terrible thing.
So MOVE, ya mo-mo!
Working at Westin,
"Can you go help valet?" Sure!
*Pray for no stick shifts*
Garage exit went
uphill. I stalled so many
damn, f-ing stick shifts!
HA! How timely. Too tired to Haiku. Had a conference in Orlando over the weekend, no planes on Thursday...drove from PA to FL to be there for Saturday start. Just got back tonight...total miles=2257. Haiku that motherfuckers!
Miko!!
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