Everyone has one
and for better or for worse
it is yours to keep
Tall, short, strong or weak
the object of desire
or of ridicule
Powerful muscles
contracting and releasing
with grace and balance
But the parts break down
the body grows old and weak
inevitably
And on that happy note, start your engines and let the haiku goodness flow!
36 comments:
I go to the gym
I lift weights and run a lot
Yet nothing changes
I know it's silly
but amputee's freak me out
Can't handle the stump
"growths" make me squeemish
When I see strange, bulbous things
I start to feel faint
A Showcase patron
Had the biggest ass ever
like 2 huge pumpkins
We knew where he sat
he would remove the armrest
One seat for each cheek
I like having height
but it's hard to find long pants
that aren't flood waders
I'm a tall woman
always hit on by short men
Amazon complex
Most really tall guys
seem to date tiny women
display of power
Myth or an omen
men who have really big hands
have a big penis
If that is the truth
think of Andre the Giant's
huge athletic cup
Hate gym locker room
Naked men stand next to me
Put your dicks away
College six-pack abs
Too many six-packs later
"Situation" gone
Body for one day:
The Ultimate Warrior
Kick everyone's ass
On Futurama
there's no need for a body
you can use a jar
Know what pleases me?
Running into old classmates
And they're fat or bald
i have a cold now
my body's producing snot
snot and tiredness
ok, i'm worried
intervention for gretchen
she must be juicing
I just had a cold
My head was fuzzy all week
I hate being sick
I took a day off
Complained to all who'd listen
Thank you, Whirlygirl
Vagina penis
Clitoris testicles breasts
Anus nipples tongue
Hmmm, does Pacman poop?
Always eating ghosts and fruit
Should be regular
Proof there is no God
Unintelligent design
Balls on the outside?
For Johnny Sweatpants
Sensory homunculus
All his fav'rite parts
Evolution proof
Unintelligent design
Men still have nipples
We eat where we breathe
And we fuck with our pee things
Nice "design," asshole
Best body function
Air escaping through buttocks
Never not funny
I hope the stem cells
are ready to go for me
before I'm too old
Upside of stem cells
The paralyzed walk again
Parkinson's is cured
Downside of stem cells
Super-rich live forever
The rest of us rot
Bionic body
Amazingly strong muscles
But in slow motion
If you could design
Your own synthetic body
What would it be like?
Inspector Gadget
Go Go Gadget whatever
Very convenient
When I was sixteen
benefit of my large breasts
cops would let me slide
At age twenty five
benefit of my large breasts
free drinks all night long
At age forty five
benefit of my large breasts
None, gravity sucks
Can't wait for future
My headless clone in closet
Endless organ bank
Psssst... hey JPX
check the naked gym guys hands
tell us, myth or fact
Not that I'm obsessed
but Tony's got some big hands
niiiice...biiiig...ooh sorry
Physic'ly speaking
Wish I was more like a cat
just not poor Fluffy
Sloppy design work
Appendix, tonsils, nipples
Want my useless shit?
Gonna go eat trees
And let my newborn suckle
Glad I got that shit
I blame weak muscles
Old people can't hold their farts
everything gets loose
Our girl all jacked up
Bet Gretchen can hold her farts
squeeze them to diamonds
If a fat guy farts
while he's alone in the woods
is it still funny?
Handy body part -
Good thing I have a philtrum
Nice "design," asshole
No need to go far
Want proof of evolution
just visit Walmart
Spandex clad beauties
Rippling thighs of cellulite
natures cottage cheese
Gracing the snack bar
Braless middle-aged shoppers
eating greasy food
Lurking in the toys
Men pawing action figures
wait, that's JPX
Those crazy women
With their moving clitorii
Nature's Rubik's Cube
Plastination
It freaks me out, but I can't
Stop looking at it
Exhibitionist?
Have your body plasticized
and put on display
If you had your own
Custom action figure
How would you use it?
You could pass them out
to your friends and family
at your funeral
I really want one
I'd always keep it with me
To freak people out
Flawed Matrix theory
Humans only 100 watts
Stupid computers
I watched Surrogates
one huge flaw in that movie
all would be fat blobs
The human body
98 percent water
We're ALMOST drowning
My capillaries
26,000 miles
A shitload of blood
An old tv fave
Remember Slim Goodbody
Kind of a male Gretch
Spandex body suit
So, so humiliating
Hope they paid him well
We're moving this week
A clothes rack, hand truck, fork lift
What my body is
Bruises discovered
In the light of the next day
What did that to me?
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