Tuesday, February 23, 2010

HHD: The Human Body


Everyone has one

and for better or for worse
it is yours to keep







Tall, short, strong or weak

the object of desire
or of ridicule











Powerful muscles

contracting and releasing
with grace and balance















But the parts break down

the body grows old and weak
inevitably







And on that happy note, start your engines and let the haiku goodness flow!

36 comments:

JPX said...

I go to the gym
I lift weights and run a lot
Yet nothing changes

I know it's silly
but amputee's freak me out
Can't handle the stump

"growths" make me squeemish
When I see strange, bulbous things
I start to feel faint

Catfreeek said...

A Showcase patron
Had the biggest ass ever
like 2 huge pumpkins

We knew where he sat
he would remove the armrest
One seat for each cheek

Catfreeek said...

I like having height
but it's hard to find long pants
that aren't flood waders

I'm a tall woman
always hit on by short men
Amazon complex

Most really tall guys
seem to date tiny women
display of power

Catfreeek said...

Myth or an omen
men who have really big hands
have a big penis

If that is the truth
think of Andre the Giant's
huge athletic cup

JPX said...

Hate gym locker room
Naked men stand next to me
Put your dicks away

HandsomeStan said...

College six-pack abs
Too many six-packs later
"Situation" gone

Body for one day:
The Ultimate Warrior
Kick everyone's ass

Mr. AC said...

On Futurama
there's no need for a body
you can use a jar

JPX said...

Know what pleases me?
Running into old classmates
And they're fat or bald

AC said...

i have a cold now
my body's producing snot
snot and tiredness

AC said...

ok, i'm worried
intervention for gretchen
she must be juicing

JPX said...

I just had a cold
My head was fuzzy all week
I hate being sick

I took a day off
Complained to all who'd listen
Thank you, Whirlygirl

Johnny Sweatpants said...

Vagina penis
Clitoris testicles breasts
Anus nipples tongue

JPX said...

Hmmm, does Pacman poop?
Always eating ghosts and fruit
Should be regular

Johnny Sweatpants said...

Proof there is no God
Unintelligent design
Balls on the outside?

Mr. AC said...

For Johnny Sweatpants
Sensory homunculus
All his fav'rite parts

HandsomeStan said...

Evolution proof
Unintelligent design
Men still have nipples

We eat where we breathe
And we fuck with our pee things
Nice "design," asshole

HandsomeStan said...

Best body function
Air escaping through buttocks
Never not funny

Mr. AC said...

I hope the stem cells
are ready to go for me
before I'm too old

Upside of stem cells
The paralyzed walk again
Parkinson's is cured

Downside of stem cells
Super-rich live forever
The rest of us rot

Bionic body
Amazingly strong muscles
But in slow motion

If you could design
Your own synthetic body
What would it be like?

Mr. AC said...

Inspector Gadget
Go Go Gadget whatever
Very convenient

Catfreeek said...

When I was sixteen
benefit of my large breasts
cops would let me slide

At age twenty five
benefit of my large breasts
free drinks all night long

At age forty five
benefit of my large breasts
None, gravity sucks

HandsomeStan said...

Can't wait for future
My headless clone in closet
Endless organ bank

Catfreeek said...

Psssst... hey JPX
check the naked gym guys hands
tell us, myth or fact

Not that I'm obsessed
but Tony's got some big hands
niiiice...biiiig...ooh sorry

Catfreeek said...

Physic'ly speaking
Wish I was more like a cat
just not poor Fluffy

HandsomeStan said...

Sloppy design work
Appendix, tonsils, nipples
Want my useless shit?

Gonna go eat trees
And let my newborn suckle
Glad I got that shit

Catfreeek said...

I blame weak muscles
Old people can't hold their farts
everything gets loose

Our girl all jacked up
Bet Gretchen can hold her farts
squeeze them to diamonds

If a fat guy farts
while he's alone in the woods
is it still funny?

HandsomeStan said...

Handy body part -
Good thing I have a philtrum
Nice "design," asshole

Catfreeek said...

No need to go far
Want proof of evolution
just visit Walmart

Spandex clad beauties
Rippling thighs of cellulite
natures cottage cheese

Gracing the snack bar
Braless middle-aged shoppers
eating greasy food

Lurking in the toys
Men pawing action figures
wait, that's JPX

HandsomeStan said...

Those crazy women
With their moving clitorii
Nature's Rubik's Cube

Mr. AC said...

Plastination
It freaks me out, but I can't
Stop looking at it

Exhibitionist?
Have your body plasticized
and put on display

Mr. AC said...

If you had your own
Custom action figure
How would you use it?

You could pass them out
to your friends and family
at your funeral

I really want one
I'd always keep it with me
To freak people out

HandsomeStan said...

Flawed Matrix theory
Humans only 100 watts
Stupid computers

Catfreeek said...

I watched Surrogates
one huge flaw in that movie
all would be fat blobs

HandsomeStan said...

The human body
98 percent water
We're ALMOST drowning

My capillaries
26,000 miles
A shitload of blood

Catfreeek said...

An old tv fave
Remember Slim Goodbody
Kind of a male Gretch

Catfreeek said...

Spandex body suit
So, so humiliating
Hope they paid him well

Octopunk said...

We're moving this week
A clothes rack, hand truck, fork lift
What my body is

Bruises discovered
In the light of the next day
What did that to me?